I used to be 120 lbs most of my life. Im now 170 lbs after meds and depression. I want to go out and socialize more but feel self conscious. How big is 170? Its not obese. But i guess im still a fatty? Could i pass for being stout? Lol.
How judgemental would ppl be?
People can be pretty judgmental, which is unfortunate. I’m pretty overweight now but I used to be very thin and there are differences in how I’m treated now as opposed to then. I don’t get as much male attention, though I can’t say I’m complaining about that, and people comment on my weight a lot more freely than they did before.
Honestly, though, if not for some health issues exacerbated by my weight (which I am dealing with), I think I’d prefer being on the bigger side. I’m less obsessive about calories and generally a lot happier and more at ease. You could argue I was never skinny in a healthy way though. No judgement towards slender folks.
The bigger you are, the more judgemental. Sad fact of life.
I gained 50 lbs on meds. I’m classified as overweight, but with the way I dress, doctors usually don’t even notice until they look at my chart. I find I still get a lot of positive attention, just from different people. One of my friends in classified as morbidly obese, but she has had nearly every person in the friend group ask her out at some point. It seems to all depend on confidence. If you look like you’re happy and enjoying your life, people will want to be a part of it. If you look miserable and scared, people will tend to stay away. Not as a mean thing, just because people tend to pick up on the social cue of “I’m terrified of talking to another person” and give those people space. Most people have social anxiety, no matter how well they hide it. When they see someone who appears to not be anxious, they get excited, because they can rely on that person to keep the conversation going.
I learned a long time ago to just pretend I’m not afraid of embarrassing myself. I can’t manage actual confidence, but I can fake it well enough to make friends.
If I lost all this weight I’d regain my good looks.
Maybe it’s wishful thinking.
Also, fat people tend to stick together. So if you’re finding it hard to make friends with the skinny crowd, look for body positivity groups or nerd culture things, like comic books, trading card games, tabletop RPGs, board games, and such. People in those social circles tend to be bigger, and also to prefer being around other big people.
I agree.
I believe I’m happier and healthier with the extra weight .
Before I was pretty little at 50-53kg and later 55 kg but at 53kg I was not eating much and was not exercising.
Now I’m fit and go to the gym four times a week and walk dogs.
When I was younger I would think someone with normal weight was fat because they were not slim but I view people differently now.
The woman I have a crush on is a bit chubby.shes gorgeous and works very hard physically on a ranch so she’s still in good shape.
At the gym we have instructors that look a little fat even and members who look obese some but they are fit and healthy and gorgeous.
I saw three girls in bikinis at the beach Friday and one was muscular the other was a bit fat and the other was sooo skinny and now in my older age I rather have the fat or muscular body than the one that is slim in such a way it doesn’t look natural.
Petite can be stunning but so can big.
After seeing so many fat n fit n gorgeous people at the gym I see you can look fat but be healthier and fitter than a slim person.
I don’t think I judge obese people but maybe I did when I was younger.
Some people judge fat people.
My dad is one of them.
He hates fat people as such and was really upset when I was over 75 kg.
Even my current weight my parents think is too fat despite that it’s normal bmi.
My dad still has a six pack at over 70 and my mum used to be tiny naturally and she ate enough and a lot n well but was little.
My dad told me that he sees men looking at me all the time. I don’t pick up on it though bc I’m so overweight. Not to mention if I’m in public it’s usually with my dad who is 66 but looks more like 50 so ppl think we’re together.
I’m about 30 lbs overweight at the moment. I miss being average to thin-sized; I miss being able to throw anything on and look good and generally feel healthy.
But I think I miss the way people went out of their way to be nice to me because I was “socially acceptable and attractive” the most.
It’s weird how differently people treat you if you’re overweight… Sometimes I think I could recover faster if I lost the weight because I’d get some confidence back.
When I first moved to the city and didn’t know anyone, I just looked up the nearest comic/game shop and started hanging out there. Most of them have events at least twice a week, and you might learn some new fun games, or you might make some new friends. IDK your gender, but if you’re a girl, you might have to try out a few. Some of the groups can be a bit mysoginistic and gatekeepery, making girls do ridiculous things like memorize obscure trivia to prove they’re a “real” fan. I usually just circumvented this nonsense by saying things like, “I don’t know, but I’d sure love to learn!” and then latching onto any other girls in the shop. I only had that problem at one shop, though.
I’m kind of interested in trying out that scene but potential gatekeeping is a deterrent. I’ll have to adopt your approach lol. Or ask them to memorize stuff in turn to prove to me they’re a real fan. 
I’m about 20 pounds overweight but I don’t think I look bad. I get plenty of positive attention. I don’t really date a lot though, as I’m current;y focusing on other things. Before I got sick I looked like a model though, and I could basically sleep with whoever I wanted, but I don’t really want that anymore.
I find most of the guys who are like that aren’t really deep down misogynistic. It’s just that they’re afraid of girls and go on the offensive to avoid a potential rejection. If you just treat them like a person, they tend to treat you like a person right back. Of course, now that I’m so androgynous, I don’t get the gatekeeping anymore. They tend to read me as either a really butch lesbian or a really flamboyant gay man, and either way, I’m not threatening anymore. Plus, I’ve been in nerd culture long enough now that I can generally answer any gatekeeper questions easily.
When I was young and obese, my Mom was a nagging problem. My Dad said about my dieting efforts - they put you in such a grumpy mood, nobody would like you anyway. So, I relaxed and took my father’s view and finally made friends. When I was in my 60’s, the fat just fell off, no effort made and I weigh 109 pounds 5’ tall. now. Might have had something to do with old age and living here at the home - a positive environment like I’ve never experienced before. Different and, therefore, difficult, but positive.
Thanks alot for the input… especially @ ninjastar.
I guess ill work on my confidence for the time being. Lol, there is a board game shop in my neighbourhood snd two other gaming/warhammer type places. I dunno what to call them. You paint miniature statues like star craft species and fight with other stuff. Their businesses are doing extremely well. Its very popular. I should check them out.
Meanwhile ill continue to whittle down my weight gradually. Hope i achirve that goal in 6 months!
Recently, I went to a restaurant with my husband. I’m obese and he’s extremely physically fit and good looking. This woman was loudly saying over and over again to her friend that she couldn’t figure out how on Earth I landed him. That was pretty mean. We both heard it and left. I feel like I should have said something to her. But it ruined my evening. My friend is morbidly obese and she gets treated badly all the time. But I don’t think you weigh enough that you’d be treated badly unless you’re like 4’10 or less.
Are you male or female? How tall are you?
I’m so sorry you had to endure that @LilyoftheValley.
Wow that’s horrible @LilyoftheValley 
Im female… im current 5 ft 7. So 172 cm.
Oh well. I guess i will lose the weight eventually. Until thrn, im reluctant to meet more ppl. Maybe i should be very cheery like santa claus and ppl will like me better.