My hair stylist talked to me about “body positivity at any size” for a long time.
It was a four hour long session, so I learned a lot.
As much as I would love to just be happy the way I am, like she seemed be,
I want to be thinner.
I kind of think everybody does.
Is true body acceptance possible when you don’t look the way you want to?
I don’t know.
What do you think?
I want to be thinner but more so a skinny mate. I don’t have either…a skinny body or a skinny partner.
I really want to be thinner for health reasons.
But otherwise it’s positive to be proud of your body.
My husband is in much better shape than I am.
It’s kind of embarrassing.
But I understand what you mean.
An article I came across today.
I think this woman looks great,
But I can’t decide if it’s healthy.
Of course it’s not healthy to be super thin, like @Ooorgle pointed out.
I don’t know.
Personally, I prefer on the heavy side opposed to waif.
She is attractive to me.
My opinion is that body positivity means loving yourself no matter what. BUT, everyone should strive to be healthy. For example, excess weight is not healthy. But you can still have body positivity, though, like… “I look good with my curvy hips” or “I like that my cheeks are rosy and round”.
In my case, I’m very skinny. I’m not very healthy, though. I would like to get in “shape”, more physically fit. Body positivity in my case is like, “I love my small chest, cause it’s perky!” (I’m an A cup, which is hard because people are always raving about big boobs) or “I like that I can wear some of my shirts from a decade ago”.
EVERYBODY can have body positivity, it just comes in different forms depending on your particular body. We come in all shapes and sizes. I think everything should want to be healthy, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still love yourself.
I think there is a balance. On the one hand, statistically, it is very rare for someone to lose more than 5-10 pounds and keep it off for longer than a year without medical or surgical intervention. People shouldn’t hate themselves for not being thin because if they spend energy on hating themselves and their bodies, they are more likely to resort to comfort foods and not try to be healthy. Or to yo yo diet, which is worse for health.
On the other hand, I have seen people use “body positivity” as an excuse for “not treating binge eating disorders” which seems to also be harmful.
If someone can’t handle body positivity for whatever reason, either because it feels fake or whatever, body neutrality is another option. So instead of “my fat is beautiful, love me stretch marks, wrinkles are signs of a happy life” type talk, itcs more like “my body allows me to experience the world. It can do the things I want it to do. It exists, and does not need to be beautiful in order to be useful”
I am in the opposite situation. The father of my children is morbidly obese. He looks pregnant. I was never attracted to men with big bellies. It must be karma biting me in the ass for being superficial. He has no intention in trying to lose weight. He just bought a cane for when he has to walk too far. He is 55.
I don’t think it’s shallow to like a certain body type.
People like bigger people, people like smaller people.
You can’t help your preferences.
Sounds like your kid’s dad needs to lose weight for his health and mobility.
Here’s the thing our bodies are amazing machines and do amazingly complex things all day, everyday and we should appreciate, support, nourish and thank our bodies all day, everyday. But we instead take them for granted and half ass feed them and make things harder for them and then have the nerve to criticize them because they don’t look quite right. I think being kinder to our bodies has to start somewhere and if that’s 'body positivity" ok then. I’m willing to try it and I’ve been hating my body forever even when I was smaller.
That’s another confusing part of all this.
I’ve spent my whole life thinking I was fat.
When I see pictures it disgusts me how thin I was, feeling insecure that I was fat.
It’s hard to get out of that mindset.
There has to be a way to accept your body, love your body, appreciate your body but still work to improve your fitness. Is that what “body positivity” is?
I need to find that balance.
I think its a really interesting conversation.
Most doctors will tell you that if your BMI is bad, you are putting yourself at risk for all sorts of illnesses. Specifically your heart has to work harder in order to pump blood around your body.
So from a medical perspective, it seems obvious to me that its not true.
But having said that, there is no point hating your body. You won’t feel motivated to change if you have poor self esteem. You have to “accept” what you are now in order to find your ideal body.
I think we have to remember to be realistic. We aren’t all going to look like models. Its just not going to happen. But if you don’t like being overweight, then definitely make some effort to lose weight. Even if you lose half of your goal, you will be happier than you were.
Seems to me like your hair stylist “converted” you. I think if she is happy with her size, and knows the risks associated with it - then thats fine. But that doesn’t mean you have to be happy with your weight. You can strive for better even if she doesn’t.
My SIL paid a nice compliment to us saying men in our family have broad shoulders.
Mine were never ‘sharp’ enough… a little sloped/rounded in my esteem. I overcompensate and jut them out and look awkward w longish arms dangling if I relax. I learned it’s Dypraxia… so it now has a name so that’s helpful.
But for BMI type stuff I’m happy with how thin I am, but do have a gut so I run a big risk of becoming a ‘skinny fat person’.
(Acceptance I guess is where I am, on my self image. )
Her body looks great. I agree. But her face has Waaaaaaayyyyy too much MAKEUP.
When I was 240lbs I had no body positivity, I think people are just conning themselves into trying to feel good about being fat, I was miserable with my body, my body was nothing like it was before I was put on AP’s and became fat… Now that I am on a different AP, lost all that weight, I’m thin again, and my body is much closer to what it use to be I am much happier.