Help: flamboyant gay people make me feel uncomfortable

So my college has a really large lgbtq crowd…and I have nothing against gay people. I’m all for gay rights and transgender rights, but tonight I was at an aa meeting and there was this REALLY flamboyant gay dude…it made me feel uncomfortable. When I held his hand during the prayer I started shaking…and when he spoke it kind of caught me off guard his mannerisms. I really haven’t been around it that much, so it makes me feel uncomfortable. There was another gay guy at an aa meeting the other night who I had a perfectly normal convo with…he was a little “bright” in personality, but wasn’t “flamboyant”…and it’s mostly younger gay males like 18-22. I vibe well with masculine lesbians…like there was this tomboy lesbian skater girl at aa the other night I vibed well with but the aforementioned subgroup makes me uncomfortable for some reason. Any advice. I felt bad that I felt I was being somewhat intolerant when really I’m not intolerant…at heart. What’s my problem?

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Yea, what’s your problem? Sometimes I act flamboyant.

I dunno it just made me feel uncomfortable. I tried as hard as I could to feel comfortable. Plus you’re older, My mom asked “were you scared he would hit on you”. I was like “no that’s not it”. I dunno what it is. Maybe I just needa meet more gay people…I met someone who was a cross dresser once and thinking about making the transition to female…he was like 25 and very flamboyant. Didn’t make me feel uncomfortable.

Do you feel you make people feel uncomfortable??? My friends were talking to this kid normally…I had a hard time. There’s something wrong with me. I’m not a bigot in any way just made me feel nervous.

The gayness would be less of a problem for me than the flamboyancy. I hate being trapped in a room with an extrovert. Always makes me fantasize about having a baseball bat with a bunch of nails driven through the end close to hand.

Suspect a flamboyant straight person would piss you off, too.

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I love flamboyant people! Not just gays, just flamboyant people in general, they brighten up the normalcy of reality :sparkles:

Maybe that’s it… You like things calm and quiet

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I’m going with racist…lol just kidding…loud people make me uncomfortable…and so do self centered people…idk maybe it just clashes with your inner peace…or maybe your racist…lol lol

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Are you sure it is flamboyant people in general? Maybe this particular person bothered you because your gut sensed something not quite right about him.

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You don’t go to AA expecting to meet healthy people, that’s for damn sure.

I only act flamboyant with friends, unless I was high out my mind.

There’s a gay kid in one of my classes that has pink hair, he’s very quiet and introverted, answers questions from the teacher in a quiet manner. He seems like a mature person and I don’t have any problem with him whatsoever.

There was a really arrogant, greedy, power-hungry guy in my high school who was gay, and I couldn’t stand him, not because he was gay, but because he was really arrogant, greedy, and power-hungry.

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Well, there are people who are struggling with certain things but trying to get better, and then there are people who are just…wrong. Not saying this guy was definitely a wrong one, but sometimes you just know, in your gut, without knowing anything else about the person. I find it smart to avoid those people.

Yeah, the ones with the blank eyes that only ever show sparks of life when someone is talking about something absolutely horrible. :frowning:

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I think it’s okay to be uncomfortable around certain folks as long as you realize it’s your Thing to Deal With and not something you should base any sort of ideology on. Being socially awkward and uncomfortable is part of the human condition.

Watch out for feeling guilty about how you feel. That starts making me paranoid in social situations. I feel that Schizophrenics can be too hard on our selves when we aren’t perfect examples of Political Correctness. You’re just a person, that comes with imperfections stock.

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He said he worked at chipotle and badmouthed it and I said “that’s why I go to qdoba” and he said “well qdoba just…sucks”. Maybe you’re right. There was a “flamboyantly” gay kid in the sober house who wasn’t quite as flamboyant and a little more mature, I sought his advice. I asked him “do you think I’d look good with tattoos” and he said no…so I didn’t get tattoos. So maybe you’re right! Thanks. But I feel he went home thinking “that kid doesn’t like gay people” and he felt ashamed a little…and that makes me feel guilty.

Qdoba does suck. He sounds perceptive.

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You can’t control what other people think and feel.

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I like it. I’m used to people pretending to agree with me. People never bash my views to my face. They could think all things behind my back but bashing my views isn’t something I’m used to. Like @minnii said it messed with my inner peace. its more about the way he came across though…I guess some people will disagree with me at times but the way he said it sounded disrespectful

It’s weird. Some cultures are just more honest than others. Portuguese are really honest, say it right to your face. When I was in Amsterdam I thought the dutch were even more honest, a girl was really adamant that I didn’t smoke weed in the café, I was smoking rolling tobacco, and I showed her the package, she was like “If you were smoking weed, you would be out of here” Lol I found it funny… Some people are just more honest than others.

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My friend says he could be “two-spirit” (terminology she used). Just putting that out there. Not that it really matters though.