Has schizophrenia caused you pain or other physical/bodily torture?

DX'd - Other
1

First of all, I don’t mean any side effects from medications.

I have been tortured by my condition.

There was a period when I was in the hospital during which I was subject to what I’d call intelligent torture. I felt a REALLY BAD and STRONG feeling in my body (seemingly physical, worse than pain), which is like burning pain and restlessness combined. It would pretty much only ease up during walking, eating, sleeping, going to the toilet, talking to the doctor or nurse or being in the line to get my medications, and so I spent most of the days in the hospital walking in the corridor all day long. I call it intelligent because my Schizophrenia was intelligent enough to recognize those specific actions I wrote in bold, and when I’m doing those things - and then it would remove the torture. Over time it increased the amount of torture it applied, even during walking. I wouldn’t wish that torture upon anyone, and the voices and fake thoughts keep telling me I’m going to be tortured forever, more than I’ve ever been tortured before, after I die. Those voices simply call it torture (in plural, in my language) and they told I was to be tortured unless I’m walking, or on some important business. I don’t know what was the purpose of having me walking all the time.

While I’m not being tortured to the extent I was before (it was worse than pain), it can still inflict aches in my head, sometimes quite strong like a toothache, and there are pretty much all the time (although they, too, disappear when doing certain things) some unpleasant feelings I feel in my head or body. The voices have told the purpose of this is to calibrate my soul to reincarnate in a place where I’m going to be tortured forever.

In the past 3 days this feeling of torture has returned, fortunately only for brief moments - apparently my Schizophrenia now wants my left leg to move every now and then before going to sleep, because that’s exactly the time when it’s doing it. It applies the feeling, and when my left leg moves it goes away. Then it keeps repeating it for a while.

2

this is a set up for Daze.

Sorry you experience or experienced that pain, but torture is not a loose term.

3

How long have you had this pain for?

4

According to Wikipedia torture could also be psychological suffering.

5

suffering, yes, torture, no. Torture is applied. Psychological is a malfunction that causes grief.

6

If you meant the torture, it is not pain, the feeling is completely different from pain. I compared it to a “burning pain” to give only a rough impression of it and its intensity.

I had it from summer 2018 (and some time before that as well according to my notes, but I have my memory wiped from that period so I don’t know exactly) to spring 2019, when I spent about 8 months in the hospital. Then I came home and it went away for 1 day, I think. Then on the second day it arrived again suddenly, and it was on even during walking, and lasted for maybe an hour and went away again. After that the process went on like in the hospital, which forced me to walk again all day long, for several months.

Then I went back into hospital for a couple of weeks, and after that I was no longer tortured with that feeling.

It has also caused pain in my head, as mentioned. Now it causes some other unpleasant feelings in my head, most often in the facial area. There is also some intelligence behind those feelings, as they also go away when doing certain things. Plus this:

7

thanks. I’m going to stop talking now. Again, I’m sorry for your suffering, it can’t be easy.

8

Schizophrenia hasn’t. Sick people have. They lie about it, but when you get away from them, you’re fine.

9

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