How my schizophrenia is messing with me right now:
- As soon as I started eating the dessert and felt it taste good, it switched the pleasant taste off. This has happened several times now.
When I started eating gummy bears to see if the pleasant taste would come back, it started switching between being not tasty, fake tasty (not pleasant) and tasty after every few seconds. It also added “somewhere between” tastes/feelings to it (maybe to confuse me, or/and make the transitions appear smoother).
Not sure why it’s doing it. Pretty much everything my schizophrenia is doing supposedly revolves around the purpose of making me suffer eternal torture after I die. It has applied many different alien feelings in me, with the apparent purpose to confuse me or trick me into perceiving things in the wrong way.
- Every now and then it creates a fake “urge to pee” feeling. When I (or the “spirit” controlling my body) go to the bathroom, the voice asks “Why did you go there? You didn’t have to.” Then an inserted thought comes up with a reason like “Rein didn’t do it, the spirit did.”, or something else.
Then the voice says “We’re going to take that thought away” in the sense that they’re going to ask the question “Why did you go to the bathroom?” again in the afterlife, and if I can’t come up with an answer (because they’ve “taken away” that thought/answer) I’m going to be tortured.
The voice asks such questions a lot throughout the day, and for each answer it says “We’re going to take that thought away”, except if the answer is too general, or if the answer is another question (except for a rhetoric question, which, too, gets “taken away”).