Mine is very painful yeah… Cause it’s even physical… The hell is in my mind too though, there’s only danger of some imminent tragedies and all kind of bad things. The despair was big too… But whatever.
Yours was painful too in fact?
Can I hope, that my meds will help me more in the future? My pdoc was saying, that maybe I’ll need years for that… I guess the life can do his own job against the pain, right? Cause it’s crazy to feel and see only pain, no? The life is not about that only lol…
Please, share if it was very painful for you too, but smally by smally, you started to be less in pain…
Once my pdoc got pissed off to me and said, that with this illness, I’ll always be in pain. That’s why I turned desperate, even my pdocs suked…
But the meds help these things or not always? Yeah, my sz is very somatic still, but I guess it was worse before…
Idk, I should be patient maybe. I tell to myself, that the zyprexa should kill my ■■■■■■■■ in my head one day…
Hmm. . .
Honestly My Personal Schizophrenia Wasn’t That Painful In The End.
I Was Met With Profound Love.
And Feel Pretty Good With Where I Am At. During My Honest Life Of Respectable Hope.
And Peace!. (Hope, Love, And Peace) As They Say!.
So On And Such.
Sometimes I get pain in my feet
I think it’s more. Psychological
It definitely feels like a pain with the anxiety and depression
My sz is very strange, yeah… But we were abused in my family as few were it too… We weren’t even allowed to dance, to laugh, to talk… I became alogic, with thinking deficits, very somatic, desperate till hell, even a bit mean and bitter 
I never had either the fantasy of my ill friends irl, I couldn’t even socialize and I was mostly in the destruction of myself… because of all the pain, I had suicidal ideation for 15 years and not any other thought in my head, which blew up my positive thinking…
Now, I am trying to change, to let go, but I hope it’ll work…
In my head still, there often fear and thoughts from hell basically 
Now, I deal with all kind of physical stuff, but yeap, I also try the peace, love and the hope…
I just am still not sure, that this will help me? Or I am on the right way now? 
Gosh, I wish I’d know that one day , I’ll feel better. I even am out of the reality because of my sick mind… Idk since years what is to feel OK lol…
OK, so I really fight now…
But the sz is still here. The damages of my 20 years old isolation too…
I suffer now still when socializing even… I have my fears still, my scary, drifting to hell thoughts, my physical sufferings from the inactivity and the sz…
Should I be patient still and start to believe, that this will go away if I continue progressing?
I just don’t want, that it takes me another decenny lol, but I guess I was too sick for too long… I’ll be too old for a good life in another ten years…
You are lucky if your medscmade you recover… This wasn’t my case and we tried many meds for 10 years. I did only this for ten years…
Tell me to continue walking pls and that it can get better 
Idk why it has to be so painful, but it’s true that I have way too many sick symptoms
Sheesh, I want a bit of stability already, just to feel OK…
Maybe I made way too many mistakes in the past too around my sz, but i am now traumatized by so much pain… I still get the total despair sometimes and this one is hard…
I have had a life without very much physical pain. I have had enormous mental and emotional pain, however.
There was a distinct three day period when I was, I think, 28 years old, when the pain broke for me. My life has been relatively sweet for decades now.
OK, so I go through all kind of states in a day… Just now, I had more energy, than the last 5 years, to be able to focus and see a movie… but it was in detriment of my sensibility…
But anyway on this…
My point is that I am scared from my sz… Idk why I still think, that I can die… I guess it’s just fear…
I think, that my zyprexa tries to work too by sometimes putting me in strange states… but I won’t stop it, my pdoc said, that I’ll worsen without it…
I guess for some, sometimes the recovery is slow and maybe painful… there’s no miracle drugs for everyone, eh 
Maybe I have nothing to fear and maybe my zyprexa will fix my paranoia from the others even if it’s after time? My docs believe in this med for me still. I’ve been probably treated way too late…
But my question is if you also had to be patient? Did it pay off? Were you also very scared and in pain?
My ap is a strong med, while I was feeling nothing before on it… one doc told me, that those who are at their worst, they even don’t feel these strong meds…
This was the case for me. But I start to have strange and different states. Which is good in a way 
So encourage me to be patient still pls, right?
Sz is painful, isn’t it?
Idk what kind of illness is this, genetic or traumas lol…
Maybe I was just scared by the illness in itself…
Oh, well, my fears from the others are still real, but I think, that this is paranoia…
You also saw way too much with this sh*t?
Hugs all!
Right now, my fear from the people hurts me… I see myself as just a coward sometimes tbh, cause few understand the fear…
OK, my dad was beating till death my mom and my sister, maybe this fear is from there? But why my sister never turned so scared as me?
Maybe I was just weak and crazy yeah 
It’s been a long life with this sickness… I completely ignore now how the others see me…
I think, that so much fear for them, is just a turn off, idk…
Is it typical for sz to have so strong fear for years? I did insanities because of it tbh… I am not a coward just, isn’t it?
I wonder how I’ll see the fear from aside if I get better one day…
You were all so supportive here, but maybe I wasn’t liked by many. Maybe they even lie to me, that I have bpd as well, in order to ease my fear from this illness lol…
Fukk it, I’ll take a klonopin again… I can’t stand the pain… well, I am turning into a human probably now, it wasn’t OK to endure only pain lol…
My current pdoc toldvme once, that I turned sick, cause I’ve closed in myself…
Yeah, I was so small and mute etc for years and all the rest, that it goes with it… I mean the ill emotions etc…
Anyway. I think, that I start to feel differently now because of my treatment if I am not wrong…
It’s a potent med lol, you should feel smth on it sheesh… while it was like a candy before for me, strange…
But pals, anyone who was also scared to death? This is the sz still?
Well, my mom just wants that I see my gp the next week and idk how I’ll do it… I am tired to fight, it’s not about being a soldier all this… my legs get weak outside there in the queues, I start to get angry because of that, then paranoid, that the others will be afraid from this anger and I end up deflated… yeah, that’s how are my going outs sometimes still…
We’ll see… I am just sometimes in some kind of dull fog for the half of the day after a good sleep… I am like a drunkard with that outside 
OK, maybe I am annoying, but does someone here knew the fear till hell for years too? That’s how is the sz sometimes or no?
Maybe you guys want to forget it. The girls here also look braver than I was it…
So fear, you knew it?
My experience has been unbearable at times. Life’s been strange and bad in ways that are impossible to describe. But everyone said it would get better with time and it has. So don’t give up.
I have PTSD from my childhood. Perhaps you do as well?
@Jayster , don’t you find, that the zyprexa will end up by helping me even if it’s after years?
I said it once here, one doc was right by saying, that the szs at their worst, don’t feel their meds…
While it’s a strong med, right? I should end up by feeling smth from it, right? Till now, it was like a candy for me, which is strange…
One ex pdoc told me, that personally, maybe I’ll need years on this med in order to feel better. I was sick since kid also, while I am 39 years old now… it’s worse when you are treated so late…
So I should keep the hope about my zyprexa and continue my efforts? I need to have hope now, but not a hope about some windy, impossible thing…
What did it make you relieve your pain in 3 days after so much pain for a time? I guess it was the meds right? Tbh, I became a bit wiser for the past years on zyprexa too, but I still don’t have my life in hands and the suffering happens every day…
Hugs!!!
I feel handcuffed here because the site is iffy about how I express the spiritual tools I used.
I believed a large component of mental illness is physical health, and so I did all the things that are easy to know about to improve physical health.
I did a lot of manual labor in an effort to help my brain. I still believe a schizophrenic living with his parents should take out the garbage, for example.
I had lost support from all my friends and my whole culture except my parents and the psychiatrist. They were clear that I should take the medication. Eventually I took it because I wanted the pain to stop.
My faith was rewarded; my situation improved. Finally!
I believed the way out was through. But I was prepared to do all I could and still not get results.
Good wishes, @Anna1…
PS When I was so sick, the antipsychiatry crowd was not so nice to me!
OK, so if the meds are an average help to me, should I accept a bit of pain now still? Did you do that too? 
I guess my isolation of 20 years also destroyed me. The meds can’t help this, even though that we tried them for this…
I pay efforts now, but should I be worried about a bit of suffering still?
My friends find me better though since I am on zyprexa… But I still have no life, I have my paranoia and somatics, but I’ve became wiser too I guess…
It’s just, that the suffering is still here sometimes and I worry about that…
I see how the people stand strongly behind their “healthy” opinions… I even don’t dare to have an opinion… I wasn’t even able to think before by paranoia…
There are also lots of strange opinions out there… the others judge, make bad acts without even to be scared… With all my fear to just be, I’ll be probably special all my life, no???
But anyway… tell me, that my suffering has chances to stop one day too… maybe I’ll just be a sz for eternity, but a sz who is not so much in pain as it was till now…
But it’s hard to accept my fate now, my life will be harder being a sz sheesh…
Whatever. I guess I decided not Ling ago to try now to become happier, to not suffer so much either. But I’ll probably be just a sz…
But was is easy for you to walk through pain despite the meds, but you ended up to get better?
I wish I’d know if my too much suffering will stop… one of my problems before was the total despair. I still get it a bit, but it worries me…
Naww, it was a piece of cake.
What exactly is causing you physical pain? I have Sz and am not in physical pain because of it. Do you have other issues besides sz or are you saying that sz somehow causes you physical pain?
Antipsychotics are not designed to help someone with physical pain so I don’t see how they are going to help you with this issue if this is what you are having.
My pain is not only physical, but emotional too…
My paranoia can be very painful for example…
I am diagnosed also with conversion disorder , yeap, because of the sz… it’s the physical manifestations of the mental problem… I have bunch of physical sensations yeah, which shouldn’t be probably here…
Maybe I developed a bpd as well…