Sorry to write again, but pals, i was in hell tonight… Sorry to bother before christmas, but its a real suffering 
… I am always worse in holidays, cause i’ll have to sit the whole day with my mom… Nothing against her, but my illness is so severe that i cant do even that…
I wanted to rejoy her, but i was in hell tonight… Very physical in fact… I was diagnosed also with conversion disorder, but the reason is mental… In fact, i took all my sz physically… Its so strong, that its a severe physical and mental pain… 
Pls, dont be hard tonight, because of my eternal bad posts… But the aps are not a help here… and believe me, i tried them all. I was really confident to the pdocs ten years ago and for ten years they tried on me everything… They say now they cant help anymore… They say to wait years on the zyprexa and pay efforts… But i dont know why by state is so bad… Maybe the years of isolation…
But i was such in pain tonight, that i thought that i’ll die soon… yes… I also feel as a burden to my mom…
But pls, share your experiences… I need this now… Is it common for the sz to be so physical? I guess i worry till death… Worry to the point that i can sit only in darkness for a few or some things like this… Even breathing is difficult from worries and pain… I took my klonopin now, but i wonder if somebody also had very severe states? I just get very worried where i get out of my comfort zone… But my comfort zone is small tbh, yeah… So its often hell… Real hell… I am just alone, smoking cigarette on cigarette on my worst… No need to repeat that i isolate since 20 years…
But anyway on my pain… Please share if you got better on the physical manifestations of your sz? Is it possible? Or its my fate till the end?
what do you feel exactly when its physical for you? I had to take a bit of klonopin now… I ignore why i have it so physical like this…
And happy holidays though. Please, for those who get mad from my posts, dont do it today… I had my hell for tonight… I just wish somebody could relate… I couldnt even eat today… I saw some ill guys in the hospitals like this, but i am alone at home now and no one to talk to…
I’ve had involuntary hand movements which my mind tells me are required to move galaxies far away. I don’t do these too much anymore. My eyes still blink rapidly on some days, usually when I’m tired. I can’t help but feel like I’m a machine sending out a transmission. I don’t know what its all about, but I try to remain calm through it. The more I’ve attempted to stop the motions the more pronounced they get. Nowadays, I go somewhere private, so I don’t freak people out. Then I just let them do what they are going to do. They stop quickly when I’m not obsessing over it.
My body literally sat on its own a few times, without me being in control. 
It was like someone had taken over my body. I just sat there wondering WHAT just happened?
I see… But my physicals are chronical… In some moments its relatively better, but i have them 24/7 in fact… Its what keeps me from acting… I worry around the others a lot so i get them… Lately, i try to work on my worries and paranoia, but i still cant control a lot those physical feelings… I am a real disabled person on this tbh 
… I feel some stuff in my head, i feel some stuff in my legs, my chest, my stomach… all, very painful… I guess my thinking is not the right and sane one still… My intellect is suppressed by the illness and the meds too…
But do you think that if i ignore my physical symptoms, they can get better with time? I see that all is in the mind in fact, but i still dont control my mind … so i am very severly physically disabled too… One pdoc told me its another disorder than the sz, which i have too, but he has no clue how to help… I guess i just am stressed till hell… Plus the isolation from the years …
Oh @MikaMoon, i hide since 10 years but well, i dont want to freak out the others too… I only bother my mom on the phone sometimes…
But can you tell me why the zyprexa doesnt help the physical symptoms? Maybe cause its mostly stress and not the right thinking still? Its been three years on it, maybe i need more time on it, cause i am ill since 20 years?
anyway… sorry for my long posts… i am really tired from my illness… What i had tonight wasnt human anymore… and no, the aps never helped me… The antidepressants lift my paranoia, cant take them…i strongly believe now, that i have my physicals cause my thinking is not right anymore… The problem is that its not right since i was a kid… and this is a bad prognosis…
I fight alone as a dog… thats all … and today, i am tired to fight… what can i do when i have my physicals? why i still get them? pfff…
u said the Aps never helped u , ok , take yourself off from them , i dun undestand why u would take something that’s not helping u. and stop ■■■■■■■■ , as i have said , u are a ■■■■ with a very low compliance to your medicines and always trying to get yourself off from them(i am the same) , so do it and take the responsibility yourself.
There are diseases of the mind, and diseases of the body,
If someone says there are spiritual diseases I will rip you a new face 
SZ is a disease of the mind and body, that’s why there is no cure and very hard to treat.
I dunno if this helps, but yeah.
I stop eating and sleeping without the meds… But try to understand, that on them, i am still very ill… They still didnt help me mentally… I am still in pain… thats all… I am not with a low compliance, i took all the meds that the docs gave me… They just ended up by saying, that in some cases, the meds dont work. That its a serious illness and that maybe i’ll be suffer always…
Oh yeah @anon57786250, my sz is quite physical, its tough…
Pals, do you think, that with the time, i can be relieved from my physical sensations by the meds? … Ok, its probably too much stress, but i cant function a lot because of them… Should i be patient? Maybe i really need years on the meds?
Were you physical in your sz too?
Sorry you’re having physical symptoms @Anna1 
How long have you been on your current meds?
Before starting meds, I would have tactile hallucinations and these strange headaches that started at the crown of my head and would move all the way down the back of my neck-- they were really painful. Not sure if they were somatic or not, but I rarely have them now that I’ve started taking medication.
Wishing you well!
Do you find your sensations were from stress? I find myself intellectually disabled too tbh…
Its been 3 years on zyprexa for me, but maybe this is some kind of strong anxiety… I have chest pain from fear, tight stomach, weakness in my legs… Its always worse around people… Maybe i need mostly to relax my thinking… But yeah, i wonder if meds can help even more even if i take them since long?..
I am glad you are feeling better 
And thanks to everyone who still tries to help me, cause i am pissed off to cant function…
It’s possible the headaches were from stress-- I was unmedicated and working 40+ hours a week. But the tactile hallucinations started early on for me when I was first slipping into psychosis.
It’s not uncommon for us to experience anxiety with this condition-- CBT has been very helpful personally in dealing with anxiety. This video does a nice job explaining some concepts:
I hope you have a peaceful rest of your day!
It seems like you might need to review your meds…I would talk to your doctor about your other symptoms. Have you thought about including a daily exercise routine to your life? Maybe, it’s your body saying it needs more of a work out. I hope you feel better soon.
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