Ok, lately i really had enough of my madness, so i am trying to become reasonable and just better… But there was a bit of pain today again. Ive slept too much in fact this night, something like 16 hours…
Yeap, i was sedentary for long, lacking energy etc etc, but now this will change i hope…
I ignore if my pain is because of my depressed thinking or somatize.
Who experienced lots of pain in his illness?
i just took my klonopin, i’ll see if it helps. I cant do it without it for now lol…
Yeah, maybe i had my deception from the world in my illness, my anger etc etc 
Not proud of it, but yeah…
One pdoc told me, that the somatizing is not typical of sz, but on the net, they say, that the somatics happen commonly in sz lol…
I dont want ads though, they make my paranoia worse…
yeap, i guess those are signs, that i need to change sheesh… I was hating even the sunlight for a time, ive isolated for long and every evening i was wondering how will be my days… Maybe i had depression, idk…
Did you knwo the pain at your worst? i’ll try to get up on my feet though, yeap…
I try to see my hairdresser these days in fact, i still push myself crazily on some things i guess lol…
Oh yeah, after my dx, i got used to mainly complain to everybody, now i am ashamed tbh 
…
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Im trying to read but its too hard right now…
Im sorry… 
I just realized, if you concentrate on others more then your self and your mother, to the point of just living without analizing your past and illness, it could bring inner peace…
Try to join discusions here, and you are not stupid, Im sure you’ll fit in…
Just not everyone can realize what you are going through… Its just you, accept it… 
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