Ok, sorry to bring this up but I was only in pain for years…
This was one of the reasons for my suicidal ideation , because I couldn’t stop the pain… No matter, that I wanted to live still… I just couldnt endure a pain almost the whole time…
My pdocs said that my sz is particularly painful, that I am a severe case of sz too…
Now I fight, I skip the suicidal thoughts, but it’s still painful…
Tbh, I am in hell quite often still… The pdocs gave up on me, we’ve tried almost all meds…
Ok, maybe I am in this, cause I had my sins, my hate, my anger, my lack of faith etc… 
for real… but I pardon myself sometimes this, cause I was probably severely abused by my dad… 
But who else here knew the chronical pain too for some period, without that it goes away? Or yours was separated by moments of sanity though? Is it also a part of sz to be in pain almost the whole time?
I’d still fight though, friends… but it’s crazy that its painful so often, I sometimes cant take that anymore…
Plus, I aim sanity, not some average , half crazy state…
Did you knew states, where it was painful all day long? My mom thinks that it’s not possible, that I still have some moments of peace… but now, I want the sanity already… I was in the middle of the madness for decades and I was left by everyone because of that…
Should I be patient with my paranoia? Will I get above the guilt to be a bad person too? I was bad in my thought in the past tbh 
But I’ve tried 11 aps, not a single one didnt fix my paranoia and my somatics from it…
Should I count on the time too now? Please, I need hope…
I want some kind of life finally after 20 years of no life 
My doc stated that she cant help me more, to stop switching aps and pay efforts…
That’s what I did… I progressed a bit tbh, but I still have almost every day my paranoia and the rest.
Can I get out from the madness mostly with my efforts and a bit of zyprexa?
Tell me, that exposing more to the life now and the time will heal my suffering, this can happen too no? Cause i cant try more meds, I’ve tried only this for ten years, they dont work very well on me… I can have a bpd too though, maybe that’s why…
No one here can tell you if your meds are going to work on your paranoia and other symptoms Anna1. You just have to keep trying and hope something pans out. Good luck 
.
Well, I am just not crippled in bed with the zyprexa. For my docs, even this is already good…
But my paranoia is still here per moments, with physical manifestations too, which are very scary and painful…
The aps cant cure always the paranoia, right? It’s strange though I find…
But it’s hard to be left with efforts lol… I get desperate still sometimes 
But I think, that the meds wont do more for me. I probably have some other disorder as well, yeap… one doc thought that I have a paranoid bpd…but my other doc said its paranoid sz with negative symptoms…
@Anna1 , if it can be any comfort to you, sz does seem to get better when you get older. But women have to wait until they are post menopausal before it’ll get better.
It’s good that you’re making progress.
Progress takes time, and there’s no limits for how long it should take.
Some people take smaller steps than others. Sometimes progress comes in bursts.
This topic was automatically closed 90 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.