The pain of Schizoaffective

DX'd - Sz/SzA
1

It is so hard living with this illness.
The clozapine helps, but I still see things…
My paranoia is on high alert…

I do not have many relationships…when people find out I have a psychotic disorder they run away…it hurts…

I am fortunate to be on disability, but it’s sad that dealing with this illness is my job…and honestly its the hardest thing I have ever had to do…

I toss and turn in bed at night, my thoughts won’t stop…

I sometimes feel like this is a wasted life… since I don’t contribute much of anything…

But I keep on going, mostly for family…and for the possible chance that things will get better.

I am grateful for this site…it is comforting to know I am not alone…

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2

I feel your pain. I’m constantly in distress these days. It’s a struggle.

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3

Yeah me too. It’s hard to imagine the rest of my days will be like this, even the good ones. I’m also on disability but yes just staying together enough not to do anything reckless or lose insight is a full time job. It’s like keeping plates spinning or juggling while you do whatever it is you do for the day.

4

I’m sorry to hear your having a hard time. It’s good to know you’re not alone. I had a terrible day a few days ago and wanted to die. Suffering is no fun. May you be at peace… (I pray). Keep hanging in there and take small joys in the little things that you can manage to enjoy.

Life is worth living even though it’s hard.

Best wishes…

5

I have sza too. The depression is the most painful. It keeps on coming back and I have so little motivation

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