I’ve had a few breakdowns in the past week. I don’t know if it’s the lamotrigine I’ve been taking, but I feel 100% more depressed and 100% more emotions. I really don’t like it. I feel almost suicidal or at least self-harming. I’ve made a handful of awful psychotic decisions lately and I even just now signed into some crisis hotline but backed out last second cause I didn’t want them to call an ambulance on me. I don’t want to go away. But im hallucinating more. dreaming of being trapped and raped and basically I think I’m having a psychotic break and I don’t want to do anything about it because we have no money and that would just break my family I think. anyway, that’s all I have to say. I don’t get a response anywhere else.
I wish I had an idea for you that didn’t involve a hospital if you are afraid of having the family spend the money.
In the long term… SSI can help you get a case worker and other help…
but if you need something in the here and now…
A crisis hot line might be the way to go… I don’t think they can make you go to hospital… but having a person on the other end who can help you… might be good idea.
Is there any family who can help you… listen and just be there for you?
I got denied social security again which has been aiding my stress. Now we have to hire a lawyer.
I don’t want to bother my family with it. I’m considering just driving to the nearest hospital and sitting in the E.R.
just to sit. and not do anything. But I wont do that. I’ll just roll around in my bed and cry or something.
I hope you feel better soon…
I’ve sadly done the hide in the closet and scream into a pillow…
If your feeling like you need help… please have a family member drive you so you don’t have to try and drive while having the head circus acting up while on the road.
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Thank you. It always passes. I just needed someone to know.
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We are all in the same boat
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how many holes are in our boats then? cause i feel like im sinking
I believe some hospitals take in people with no funds on a temporary emergency basis. I’ve seen people in hospitals before that are obviously off the streets and must have no money. And here’s a risky gamble that might help. Call up Social Security and ask them if they ever pay for hospital stays retroactively. There’s about a 5% chance this might work and it also depends on how sure you’re lawyer is that you will be awarded Social Security. Are you taking your meds?
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Im sinking with you so don’t feel alone
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Social security doesn’t believe I deserve money to live. So maybe I shouldn’t ha ha.
No, I don’t know how to communicate with computers and that’s all I’d get with them.
It’s okay though @77nick77 i will perservere. something will change eventually.
and yes I am taking my meds. sort of. I forget the lamictal yesterday. and i dont
take my klonopin every day. maybe i should take 1mg. help me pass out and help
this all just pass.
I’m sorry you have to go through this. But medication is most effective when taken as prescribed.
I’m glad to hear you say that you will persevere. That’s the spirit. Can your mother call Social Security for you? The national number is 1-800-772-1213.
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I think my mother is crazy and unmedicated herself. She keeps saying she is going to call an attorney.
but then she gets tired and does easier things.
If i had social security I would feel so much more secure. I don’t know what to do on my own.
I will try and take my medication correctly.
She or your father have to call an attorney. It’s vital. I’m not criticzing your parents because I don’t want anyone to criticze mine. But do your parents understand how neccessary it is for you to have money coming in? It would take a load off of them and ensure that you get the right treatment. They need to understand this. Its not something to put off.
My father doesn’t handle the money or the bills or anything that really involves decision making because he works so much and when hes not working he is sleeping or relaxing. My mother doesn’t have a job so most of that stuff goes to her and I think she knows this. I will tell her tomorrow to call the attorney or I’m bringing myself to the hospital or something.I don’t know how to get the ball rolling it just makes me feel guilty to pressure her because my other sisters are useless and never do anything for themselves and then I just compare myself because I can’t do this for myself either.
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step”. Yes, I could see how you could feel guilty. And mothers get tired and stressed. But families have to pull together in times of crisis. She has to understand your current situation. You’re the child and you need help, that’s one of the most important things in your house right now. My family is not perfect, but sometimes when I was going through constant crisis’s, they had to do stuff that they didn’t like and that they didn’t want to do. It’s part of being a parent. And of course your poor mom has problems of her own. All mothers do. But they signed on to be parents with all the responsibility that entails. I’m not judging them at all. I wish you good luck.
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Thank you for taking the time to talk.
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You’re welcome. Of course there’s probably a million things going on in the background of your house that I don’t know or understand or that I couldn’t be aware of. Because every family has a history with each other and the world that is different. So that’s why I made it a point not to criticize. You would not understand my families dynamics and our way of relating and I would not understand your families way of relating and I would not understand everything going on in your lives. So your parents are probably doing the best that they can. Good luck.
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sorry @CarleyGee i really feel for you, it can sometimes be a real struggle trying to find the proper medication, i will pray for you to find the help you need and for peace and love and i really hope it gets better for you,
the thing with the crisis line over here is that they are having reforms so that you are more likely to have a care giver come out to your door than anyone else and that person can talk to you and try and help, you might not need hospital you may just need a pep talk or something,
it really works for me and i have said lots of things to the crisis line and no-one has came out to my house, i havent ever thought i would harm myself or others so maybe thats why, so as long as you are not going to do that then i think you’ll be ok, harming yourself is probably more likely but it doesnt necessarily mean youll be hospitalised
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i hope today is a better day 
take care 
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**Hi @CarleyGee!
maybe you can call social services to get a case manager for yourself. They handle everything!
I hope your meds are the right ones–I would say something to your doctor.
Hope you are feeling better today 
**
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