Examples of your worst paranoia?

DX'd - Sz/SzA
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All of my psychotic breaks came with terribly paranoid delusions, but I would say my last break was my worst.

Besides the usual, thinking people were hunting me down, trying to kill me, my behavior in the hospital must have come across as very strange due to the paranoia I was experiencing.

When I would walk down the hall to my room, I would very cautiously approach every corner, whipping my head to the side to see if anyone was there. When I got to my room I would open the door all the way (to be sure no one was behind it), then kick the drawers under my bed (to listen for movement, if someone was hiding in there), then kick the heat register for the same reason. It was ridiculous, no one could have fit in the drawers and what is the likelihood that someone removed the guts of the heat register and was hiding in it?

When I would sit in the common area with a beverage, I would keep my hand over the top of it, to be sure no one would poison it. I would take my disposable cup from around the middle of the stack, since I figured it was unlikely anyone brushed it with poison (as opposed to the cups at the ends). If I mistakenly left my hand off the top of my cup without my eyes on it, I would go dump my drink out, throw my cup away, get a new cup from the middle of the stack and get another drink.

Yeah, it was kinda weird. There was more to the paranoia, but this post is already long enough.

What would be an example of your worst paranoia?

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I thought people were trying to get me to kill myself. Much earlier I thought people could see through the door of my dorm room and see what I was doing in my own room. One time I heard this girl who was out in the hallway yell, “Well okay, but don’t let him get near any girls, because he could go crazy at any minute.” To this day I don’t know if that was real, or if it was an hallucination.

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It IS possible someone was in your drawers… :wink:

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I sometimes still do the thing with the drink cups. And I never leave my food or drink unattended.

It’s annoying to no end to other people - but eh, pretty harmless in the scheme of things.

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I assaulted someone I thought was plotting against me to kill me.

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I might have thought my psychiatrist was in one of my drawers.

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when i had delusion of reference i thought spy cams were in my AC and guitar case… so i would poke it with a screwdriver…

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I once went out to a festival and ended up hiding in the car boot the entire day and then crept out at night and hid in the bush. Was like an intense 12 hour bad trip. I told my friend the next day my drink got spiked and I passed out.

I never saw him again after we got home though which made the whole ordeal even worse

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I think feeling people are out to kill you is the worst. I was on a train one time, ducking out of the way of the Windows so no one could snipe me, and scared as hell

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I once became paranoid about all that mk-ultra stuff and decided the dog had spy cams, a gps, and a radio transmitter implanted in him. He’d follow me around and I’d just glare at him and try to avoid him at all costs. I told my uncle we should take him to the vet to get his chip taken out. I guess he didn’t like the look in my eyes because he said, “stay away from the dog” and wagged his finger at me lol.

Another time I thought people on tv could see me and read my thoughts. They were all planning to kill me so I’d stand there and argue with them “telepathically.” I thought the lions dancing in a sesame street were assassins camouflaged as lions on sesame street. I once also got so paranoid about snipers sniping me in my sleep that I would curl up in the hallway where there were no windows, and try to sleep.

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Oh goood I have stories.

-When I was really little I believed at certain times I had to go under the blanket for a specific amount of time because something evil had entered the room and if I came out of the blanket before it left I’d be killed

-Around 5 years old thought planes would abduct me, so whenever one flew overhead I’d run and hide or grab onto something

-Fear of certain areas in my houses, couldn’t stay there alone

-Showering would always cause me bad paranoia, I’d shower with my back to the wall. Sometimes I became so freaked out I’d run out of the shower with soap still in my hair and have to wash it in the sink

-I learned how to and developed the habit of putting on shirts where I can see out the headhole and never lose vision while putting it on because it used to freak me out I was scared something would attack me while I couldn’t see

-Certain sides of my bed I deemed “unsafe” as in I thought something evil would stand only at that side. When my paranoia was really bad I’d end up seeing evil and demented faces whenever I closed my eyes on both sides so neither would be safe and I’d sleep on my back, except I can’t sleep on my back so

-One episode I had a fear if I was left alone the devil would kidnap me, thus I made a friend stay with me at all times and slept with my siblings at night (I was a junior in hs)

  • Fear that if I thought anything, the devil would hear my thoughts and come kidnap me

-Fear that clouds worked for the devil and if I was left alone outside they’d descend and catch me and bring me to hell

-Senior year of hs became fixated on the mirror in my room and thought my reflection would come out and kill me, had all these rules to follow that would keep me safe but it would keep me up all night tossing and turning because anytime I heard a sound I had to look at the mirror because it was my reflection creeping up on me and looking at it made it go back in…but I couldn’t sleep facing it…etc…

-Fear people on the internet were watching me through cameras on my devices, covered them all

-Fear people I saw on the street had followed me to my apartment, I’d lock myself in my room all day…though was still worried they’d come in through the window even though I was multiple stories up

Probably more but I don’t feel like going on. Paranoia is the WORST.

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One particular bad episode of paranoia I had was when I was visiting my sick father in Las Vegas, NV and I was in the downtown strip alone at night hanging around the casinos and I got it into my head that the Mafia was after me. I ran out of a casino racing down the street on foot looking behind me for the mob. I raced all the way to my hotel and the paranoia didn’t stop when I got to the hotel. I locked my hotel room door and got into bed and pulled the covers over me and shivered with fear all night. The next morning, I called a Las Vegas hospital and they wanted to admit me. I declined because I didn’t want to waste my time in Las Vegas in a hospital. I stayed extremely paranoid up until the time I got on a plane bound for home back to Omaha, NE.

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I used to be so paranoid I didn’t talk. I guess you could have called it alogia.

I thought there were cameras everywhere and when they weren’t watching me with cameras they were watching me with satellites. Ruined masterbation for me. Don’t ever feel like I have any privacy.

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Same here
1515151515

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I also thought there were cameras everywhere. It can make going to the bathroom difficult if you have even a little bit of trouble going in front of other people like me. At least that was the conclusion that I came to when I kept hearing voices constantly. Rearranged and moved everything in my room to find cameras which I didn’t find. Even bought a device that I thought could pick up the radio signals from installed camera. Kept getting a signal around my window for some reason which freaked me out.

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Paranoia keeps me alive.
My hubby 'n me were walking back home down the “back” side of the street, and just as we got close to this house at the front of a court, a bunch of guys ran out yelling at each other as if to fight.
I was pretty sure I’d been set up, and thought they would attack me then say it was an accident, so I refused to go any closer and sat down to watch the fight.
Sure enough someone starts shooting and some of the guys start towards us. I refused to get shot and walked back the way we came. The guys got in a car and took off.
I was pretty sure they would have killed me and blamed a stray bullet was the problem instead of aiming my way on purpose.

As far as anyone poisoning me at home, I defiantly would eat whatever I thought was poisoned just in spite, saying I’d rather die than to live with these punks. Unfortunately I’m still around, a bit fatter for the cause, but still around.

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Heyvmartin, when did you come back to the site?

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“Examples of your worst paranoia?” I think dogs will tear me apart. so whenever i see a dog, I walk far away from it. also, i sometimes feel that small flies are in my hair

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Casinos made me think the mob was after me too. I was extremely paranoid about it. For a while I was betting really large and a bunch of strange stuff happened… for real… dealers telling me they can cheat, coolers hovering over me, and at this one casino a plain clothes guy who worked for the casino tried to become my friend and wanted me to explain my gambling strategy. He also told me about how they used to deal with cheaters in the old days, taking them out to the desert. But I never cheated

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I have all kinds of paranoia, but I am not going to list these here, well I can state one, for example sometimes when people are talking on their cell phones, I somehow perceive that they are talking about me, although I may just ride my bike quickly passing them. This paranoia I just ignore.

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