Even the magic in life to whom i aspire is a delusion isnt it?

i still think that there is some kind of magic between people in life, in their relationships. and i thought it could save me from being discriminated. but now that i am on meds, i realize that there is no such magic between people wow… there is reality. and the reality is that i am sick and the others will know it after i ll tell them to them. the magic is just magic, that’s all. but it doesn’t exist like this in real life… yes, there is love but this is something else, wow…
sorry to post so many threads today but i am ill since child and i dont know how i am gonna get through this one day… its not nothing not to know the reality since child… the only symptom that i dont have are the hallucinations…

I think there are special relationships that can be “magical” but they come from hardwork, patience and a lot of understanding… not sure if that was the type of magic you were referring to. Hope things get better for you.

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how have you been ill since a child? Did you have ADD, and they put you on meds/

did you show signs of behavioral problems they medicated you for?

or if they didn’t medicate you, did you experience something that you feel set in immediately?

I just wonder, I think you’ve said you live with your parents,

and they’ve always provided for you, you’ve never been neglected,
or lived in poverty,

I don’t think you’ve been bullied and were never forced to leave your school,
I don’t think you’ve ever been raped,

you say it’s all mental, and it all happened naturally, even as a child.

Hmm, I’m just trying to understand.

Maybe you’ll find magic in you and with another afflicted

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What does she have, @HuckFinn?

She’s said before it’s not schizophrenia.

It sounds more and more like possession to me, not to scare you, but it is real.

I don’t know. I’m not scared . I just dondont feed into demonology or religion honestly… I just think magic between souls doesn’t judge illness

It makes me a believer that all of it is bunk, and we are all fine,

and none of it exists, ha. Even though I know that can’t be true.

What makes you a believer?

Well, this poster, been around awhile, and the board is here to support it,

this desire to get to the heart of our sickness, post over and over doom and gloom,
I don’t know who’s trying to help people like this,

dead set on being ill.

anyway, thanks for talking @HuckFinn, I’m going to shut up now before Pixel decides to suspend me.

Curious minds just want to know.

I’m going to pace my kitchen and jam.

Idk. I try to detach from most people honestly

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.

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Some people are not too nice to people who are psychotic. Some churches have a lot of psychotic members and tell theirs to stalk strangers in community who are on disability check ‘for stealing’ after a mental break. I call this preach stalking but is just another form of ‘stigma’ and discrimination. Some who choose to deal with their own psychosis by acting like this turn into really nutty people later as voices want more and more…vandalisms, theft, trespassing, screw people with your jobs, ruin relationships…If you see strangers who harass you about something private, is better to avoid these groups of people. Is really helpful if you live in smaller community as sometimes they all attend a certain church, usually the ‘born again evangelical christian’ type of thing or huge non-denominational. (Some people are actually told to share information that will help you btw but you may not see this until you start working in a new community.)

When you realize how many tortured souls there really are in a community and all the negativity, is nice when no one really knows you. Better not to discuss a mental health diagnosis either with this kind of stuff happening as it can get you treated really badly if anyone knows much about you. If you have police contact in some communities, it can ruin you if you are disability pay so need to tell cop you work at Walmart. The psych out officer thing here is being used to ruin the functioning adults and throw residents out of their homes instead of intervene on a suicidal or unstable person with therapy-trained police.

After pacing my kitchen last night, and sleeping on it,

I wonder, if all our disorders are on a spectrum,
say, like a rainbow,

and each one has a hue or a color,
but mostly so faint and easy to miss,

still you see it, for some strange reason,
and you think of our nature, and the real nature
of the world,

and you know this phenomenon is one thing
though each layer is a reflection, distinct.

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But it’s still a reflection, and it matters how we feel about ourselves.

daze, you mean that i am possessed? wow… come on…i was quite afraid of other mentally ill people who thought the same about me to be honest. its to a point that i dont want to get in hospital anymore, i am sick to be thought as possessed, i am just sick…
i live alone but in the same building where is my mother. as child, i was quite quiet child, sometimes derealisated and with low mood. but it wasn’t enough to alarm my parents… ive also started to lose my positive emotions little by little and now it s to a point that i can hardly feel love. i am just traped in my negative emotions. but maybe ill do it one day… i just want to be relieved of my anger and my depression now…

I think you said before you think you might have PTSD,

not sure how you got that, but others have said if you hear voices,
I’m going to kill you, and feel that fear for so long, life or death,

it can happen. I would just suggest therapy, though you probably do,
pills can’t do it all. Don’t give up on life, or yourself.

no, i dont hear voices. i got all kind of diagnoses but the main ones were borderline and paranoid schizophrenia…

oh, I thought you said just psychosis, can’t remember,

but yeah, if it is pd. sz. you should try art therapy,
or sensory stuff to realign the negative emotions,

it couldn’t hurt. Spas help too, and saunas.

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