How do you know what’s magic and what’s a hallucination or delusion?
I’m heartbroken, I used to think I was very spiritually connected and powerful in my magic, but now I can’t help but second guess everything. I had a lot of ghost encounters too as a child and now I’m not sure what’s real and what is in my head. My mother is also a witch, and I was always taught about spirits and portals, white grey and black magic. In general my mother educated me well in various branches of witchcraft. I have lots of psychics and mediums in my family, and I was always told that the family gift was passed down to me. But what if it isn’t? What if I’m just crazy and deluded. Is this considered a religious delusion? I’m an atheist but I suppose I sound the same as people who think they are chosen by god or whatever. It’s hard for me since I really don’t feel delusional, and I truly believe in all of that stuff. I’ve had to step back from magic since I’ve become unwell, other then the occasional good luck charm while stirring my coffee. In general though, I feel like using magic isn’t detrimental to my health, as much as it’s a good coping strategy that helps me feel safe. But it ■■■■■ me up. What if what I believe is just lies? What if everything is pointless? I feel like this is part of my identity so if its all BS I would be absolutely crushed.
Also anyone who has a problem with my beliefs please don’t be mean about it. I’m very nice and not evil and not planning on burning in hell for eternity lol. I’m not dangerous and I would never hurt any of you. (I’ve noticed a trend of people saying their sz was from a curse by a witch, doesn’t seem like they think well of us on here)
My paternal grandmother was a tea leaf reading psychic. I was young and spent time with her. She was a genius at reading people and made everyone feel special.
It’s not a slight on her…it really is a skill but it’s probably not what it is represented as. I don’t believe in most stuff but stil throw the iching daily. It’s just one of those things I don’t necessarily believe in but I like the randomness about it.
Schizophrenia is often about magical thinking …I think you can pick the two and that is great. If it was a problem then I’d be worrying. I think you can see through most of the window dressing!
Schizophrenia is anything but special…it makes you feel so but you’ve got to wonder about your genetics. My said grandmother was from my fathers side…they are all depresssives…thanks people! My schizophrenia was from my mothers side…so all’s I’m saying is be practical. You know what is what…move from there!
My great grandfather was a famous and powerful mage, he learned it in South America and came back with a spell book.
I would say that it is ok (there may be arguments against the goodness of the source of this power) as long as you don’t think that you are healthy and your positive symptoms are gifts.
I think your magical thinking is always going to part of you because you were brought up with it.
You need to be able do distinguish between what is part of your beliefs and what is psychosis, this can be difficult sometimes with sz.
Some witches believe in that they should not harm anyone, which is a good rule to live by.
Paganism and witchcraft is an ordinary belief that has been practised for tens of thousands of years. Magical thinking isn’t delusional, it is a method of approaching reality. Just as a scientist uses science to uncover a particular aspect of reality which is usually hidden. The thing to remember is that both are powerful methods people choose to employ as a means of discovering the world around them. Which is why being mentally stable whilst doing it is a must.
I used to see shadow people and hear and sense people walking around me…
This is a good quote to summarize a proper approach.
Philip K Dick said…
“Reality is what doesn’t go away when you try to ignore it.”
Now that’s not really good enough for someone with a hallucinatory disorder. So I’d rephrase it.
“Reality is what doesn’t go away [when you’ve successfully dissolved your belief in it]”… More appropriate for schizophrenics.
You are doing one thing right… you are getting very close to seeing the emotional bias surrounding your beliefs. It’d be unsettling to let go of them, however it’s unsettling to have them as well.
You know… Schizophrenia does seem quite magical. I often try to contemplate what is similar among us in order to uncover a reason why it’s us… this particular set of people have schizophrenia but why? What’s the correlation?
Most of the time the results do just come up as… there is no outstanding similarity and schizophrenia is indeed a randomly distributed illness with a genetic bias. How the brain is configured on deep levels of perception. Both interally and externally aren’t wholly separate… Stress leads to a psychotic break when our inner castle starts turning to sand in the face of reality.
Truth is we aren’t that magical or special though I do thing a lot of out presences carry a different kind of weight. A lot of common folk are fine with just seeing themselves as people… they live in 3 dimensional world and their personality is more a characteristic of their three dimensional self… I’m not saying they don’t have access to depth, but they prefer being human characters instead of something else… the identity satisfies them.
I mean look at major cinema… a good movie stirs all kinds of preponderances of heroism or evil… of power and specialty… all sorts of neat things… people do enjoy the feel of that stuff… those movies succeed. However most don’t sit around conjuring those kinds of feelings for themselves… I mean I know I was inclined to… I was always conjuring mythologies as a kid and a lot of people were prone to believe them.
My cousin actually thought I was jesus… hah what a short straw to draw when kids can reinforce delusions of that kind of complexity… That was never mine though… I liked pretending I was an extra terrestrial or an abductee…
I have seen ghosts a few times… but it was always in that sleep paralysis state…
I’m pretty much in the exact same boat as you @valiumprincess.
I’ve just learned to live with a great deal of uncertainty.
Edit: I’m on meds and all of this is in the background now for me. I think when it starts to creep into the foreground then it’s a sign I’m becoming unwell.