Do you excuse yourself for things you've done while psychotic?

I was looking back on some of my behavior when I was psychotic, and it was pretty bad. I doubt if people on the receiving end are willing to forgive me. Have you done things while psychotic that make you cringe to think about?

Yes, if I was psychotic that is, I don’t know, but years ago when I was really ill I cut my hair all off on top and left the back long. Nowadays in a mad anger tantrum one day I threw a chair on the floor in front of my husband and went to go cut myself upstairs.

I stole a boat, said stupid things, dissapointed alot of people, trashed my mother-in-law’s house and a friends house too, nearly killed my unborn baby (had to do an emergency c-section for that reason, as I had not slept for a long while and was constantly moving around …either my brain or his little brain had to be sacrificed otherwise)

I have put my husband through a lot of pain while psychotic I cannot forgive myself for that, but we don’t talk about it anymore, we decided to wait and see what happens. I know that if I never have a crisis again he will gladly forgive me. I am working hard towards that goal.

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I know that my illness was responsible for many of the things I’ve done in my past but I can’t excuse them nor forgive them. They serve as motivation to stay on medication, at least that’s a good thing.


When I was in the Navy I stole a military car, damaged 3 cars, damaged a lot of other property, drove recklessly and wrecked a car with a kid in it trying to escape the cops. When I finally got caught I was in the police car and I saw one of the peoples’ who car I throw a rock through the window… I told her I was sorry about what I did and it was a psychotic episode and I didn’t even remember doing half the things. She was a nice lady and forgave me even though it seemed fake, but I will never forget how bad I felt seeing the look on her face.


@crimby…I forgive myself for everything I did when ill/psychotic. I was off my head. I was wired to the moon when I did the things I did. I had bizarre beliefs. I was crazy. But I was innocent despite having broken the law and hurt others. The ones I regret the most, are those in my family I hurt especially my mother. I regret the things I did but I was crazy, and out of my head ill and psychotic.

I do forgive myself for the things I did but I only wish other people would forgive me, especially my mother.

I was insane at the times I did the things in the past. It hurts me that some people cant forgive me. Sometimes I wish I was dead.

My motivation is my son. I can live recklessly and put myself in danger but all that stops when my little one is involved. I would never do something to hurt him and by that I mean that I would not even hurt myself anymore, to be sure I don’t hurt him. That means taking my meds and looking for information on how to deal with my symptoms every day, if necessary.

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I try to excuse myself for the bad things I have done while psychotic, but I have found that I have stuffed most of them in the back of my mind. I know what you mean about those memories motivating you to take your med’s.

“Do you excuse yourself for things you’ve done while psychotic?”

We have a wonderful definition in most places in the U.S. called “criminal insanity.”

Even our legal system doesn’t blame us if we can prove that we are criminally insane. I know, and can prove to myself, that I was criminally insane when I did some things out of confusion.

Therefore, of course I excuse myself. Even the legal system excuses me, and rightly so.

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Since my only real transgressions were against family and they say they never took anything personally, then yes I, well I don’t dwell on it or feel any guilt. All I can say is thank the heavens that fuse went out that one night…


I don’t even like to think about what I did to my kid sisters life when I was psychotic. I’ve stolen, almost got my sister shot. I’ve had her in the car while hallucinating and speeding.

I’ve stolen stuff and money from my family, friends, and other places. I’ve taken my sis to the worst parts of town and made her sit in the car and wait for me as I got high.

The list just gets long and ugly.

I have a lot of guilt due to my past. I’m trying to make up for my negativity, my anger, my mistreatment of my younger siblings. I can’t change it. I have to let it go.

I can stay on my meds, stay in therapy and work never get that bad again. I never want to cause that much pain to another person again.

I was not in my right mind, but I still can’t seem to forgive myself.


I’m of two minds about this. On one hand I feel it isn’t my fault because I wasn’t in my right might. I think that if someone else was in the position I was and did the same thing I would easily forgive them.

On the other I feel incredible shame. There was one thing I did which especially causes me grief because I don’t know how much damage I did to someone and I have no way of finding out. Compared to some of you, what I did was probably minor but shame is an old friend of mine and he knows how to get to my heart easily.

Sometimes though, what scares me the most isn’t what I did so much as what I could have done.

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I don’t hold myself responsible for the things I did while delusional and sick. I was out of my mind and had no chance to see things correctly. It was all a lie made up by my brain and therefore were at it’s mercy, and there was none. no mercy. Schizophrenia has caused deaths, and something like 17 percent end their own lives…that’s a bunch. too much. I wish this disease wasn’t so hard on so many people.

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Some of the things I did were pretty bad, and though I wasn’t on medication, I do feel like those impulses were a part of me. I’m of two minds about this. It is a great excuse to say I wasn’t on medication.

I will never forgive myself. Today I had a first hand account of how badly I hurt someone emotionally. I agree with crimby on the point that not being on medication is bad, but the impulses/urges are part of who we are.
One of the things this person told me was so true, we sometimes use the condition to shield ourselves from the consequences it has on people around us, people that trusted us and cared for us.
The delusions, and the subsequent was we find to deceive other people into believing it them as much as we do will stay with other people for ever.
From our end, we take our meds and its as if everything was back to normal. Well it is…just not for the people we have hurt.
I need to find a way out of this, not to completely forgive the things I have done, but to be able to survive and live for at least a couple more months…

My past actions are excused with a capital E - I was off my rocker when I did these hurtful and emotionally painful things.
I forgave myself a long time ago, not sure that certain other family members truly forgive me - my dad still holds some grudges against me - this is partially due to his ignorance on mental illness - but I do think he is slowly starting to get it - I apologized tons of times, even though I know it was not my fault really

i try to forget it happened because no i cant forgive myself when i think about what i did including wrecking jy car and abandoning a friend on the side of the road

How long did it go on for?

Them not 100 percent forgiving me? a while - till this very day I am pretty sure - my father has a big ego
It happened a very long time ago

i don’t actually know tbh. i really put my kids through the mill and that hurts me now that i’m more stable. it hurts to just think about it but knowing i hurt my parents and husband aswell. i think they were more worried for me than anything else though but i gave my kids some major anxiety. my son still worries about putting pressure on me now incase i get sick again and as a parent that kills. i really put my family through the ringer a few times, for months on end and it pisses me off…i wasn’t myself at the time though…whoever i actually am. psychoses have taken so much i’m not actually sure anymore. :frowning: