First off, I’m now on AP’s and very much have a grip on reality again, although I still struggle with some residual positive symptoms. Negative symptoms is what I deal with mostly now.
Did or does anyone else struggle with guilt, not for the things they did (which I do struggle with the guilt of things I actually did and said in psychosis) but for things that they perceive to be real that they “did” wrong that aren’t real at all?
All of these were fed by evil voices in my head telling me awful things and berating me. An example on my end, I kept calling people and trying to apologize for things that I “did” that never happened, probably the most drastic was calling female friends or ex’s to apologize for harming them sexually (I would admit if I ever SA’d someone, but I haven’t). It’s not worth getting into why I thought these things since it’s all psychotic drivel. I also thought that the world was being punished for my “misdeeds” as a whole and that all human suffering was my fault.
Anyone I called to apologize to expressed concern for my mental well-being, and all told me I was crazy and they explicitly told me these things never happened.
Even after this confirmation, I called again, and again, to apologize. I was certain I was guilty of so many different things.
Does/did anyone else have these sorts of delusions of guilt?