Since 11 years old I have had thoughts that my parents were going to / would like to kill me.
Recently (since the summer) I have had thoughts that Freemasons and the Illuminati rule the world and want to kill us ordinary people. I also think that it means something special that an Illuminati member and I have the same birthday and that the symbol of the University of Helsinki related to Freemasonry etc. and my thoughts on studying there sometime in the future would be related in the way that I am supposed to become a Mason.
My other thoughts are that I get cyanide / poison gas / carbon monoxide poisoning and once even that my parents intentionally kill me for carbon monoxide poisoning. Anxiety about this has often grown so great that I have not been able to sleep or be at home. However, I realize that others do not experience things the same way or believe them to be true.
I also fear that my food was poisoned by McDonald’s workers and that my food was drugged by my parents
Yes. You have been told this numerous times before, and you’ve also been told not to start the same thread over and over, where you ask for help and then dismiss the advice and comments of others on the thread. It’s very insulting.
Then honestly no one can help you, if you don’t trust a doctor who has a degree in this area and went to school for this for many many MANY years then you don’t trust anyone who wants to help you besides the best we can do is recommend you talk to your pdoc
Is there a reason why you think your parents want to harm you? Or is it a “gut feeling” that pushes you to fear for your life?
I find, for me, that these feelings stem from a sense that we lack safety and security. Sometimes it’s easiest to feel “targeted” when I’m not feeling understood. Kinda like the whole world is crashing down on me and I’m alone with my thoughts.
TRUST YOUR DOCTOR! I know when I was in the hospital I swore they were trying to kill me. But I bit the bullet and took the medicine. And what do you know? I started to get better. I’m only paranoid once or twice a week now. I probably wouldn’t be paranoid at all if I quit drinking. But I’m weak