I have two good friends who don’t know each other, have never met. Both are really important to me. One is a man, one is a woman. They look nothing alike, sound nothing alike. Lately, I keep getting the idea that they’re the same person.
I know this is completely false. I’m not really looking for help on convincing myself that it isn’t true. I also can kind of figure where the idea is coming from - whenever it occurs to me, I feel very sad, and I know it’s rooted in my insecurity and my inability to accept that people really like me.
I feel like I’ve been slipping in a lot of ways lately, sleeping more, finding it harder to get things done. That I keep having this idea is frightening to me, though, like I’m really sliding faster than I expected.
I guess I’m hoping that you can tell me how you catch yourself when you feel yourself slipping, how you deal with the emotional impact of a delusion. I just feel stupid and defeated, useless. I just feel really sad.
I’m far from the best at this. I have been struggling with it throughout the past two weeks. I haven’t posting as much because I’ve been having so much to do.
I’m sorry you are going though this Rhubii. It is awful. I think, what has helped me are other people. When I stay alone in my room, things just get worse. My best friend comes to drag me out, and we end up having fun. It can be any people. Family too! I just find that being with people who care makes things better at times. Just to remind us why we are all here. I wish you well!
Hey honey. First of all, tell your pdoc about this ASAP.
Second, I get this a lot. You’re not alone. It’s paranoia, and usually goes away. Introduce them if you can. Do something to counteract it. It’s not easy, I know the thought won’t leave just like that. I get a lot of that here for example, I keep thinking people have multiple accounts and pretend they are different people, but that doesn’t make a lot of sense does it? In real life I got the feeling that every person I know with the same name is the same person messing with me, but I know they aren’t. The best approach is to counteract it. And tell your pdoc, maybe it’s time for a little ap. This is progressing.
do these two individuals have similar personalities and perspectives on life? Have you met them in person or are they just associates on the internet?
If it’s paranoia about web-folk… there might be ways to resolve it with some detective work…
If you know these people in real life then it’s god damned nonsense to think they’re the same… hence the previous inquiries…
@Rhubot why you insecure? You are a damned bomb-■■■■ power house woman… You’re lovely and intelligent… and so damned wise in being righteous… you are an inspiration…
I just took a look at your profile, and you say you have psychotic features. Are you taking any anti-psychotic meds? Minni’s post seemed to hint that you weren’t.
I got a delusion when I got off meds. I clung to it even after I got hospitalized and medicated again. It was just so hard and painful for me to let it go. It took me months to finally get out of the delusion.
I think the key is to be around people, let them know what’s going on in your mind, and keep in touch with reality. Never lock yourself up in your room and think about the delusion all day. That’s what I did and it just makes it worse.
Also talk to your pdoc and maybe you need med change.
Well yes tell your pdoc ASAP. But if you know things are false, that is a very good sign. Maybe more meds can make it go away. Just don’t obcess about it. Just let bad thoughts slip away or distract yourself with happy thoughts.
But over the years, I have learned there are topics that I am allergic too. NSA, China and the government come to mind. I just make my mind change the subject if it drifts off to that crap.
How did I find out ? People will look at me funny when I start discussion bad topics or I feel funny. Or I start ranting or arguing.
It’s tough because you don’t really know you’re dong it, but with time you can learn to just not talk about certain bad topics.
Even normals have to stay away from religion and politics in polite company.
Maybe it’s confusing to have two friends - like, should you treat them differently, do you get their differences confused and is it hard to remember what is appropriate for which friend. It’s like having so many friends on this forum, I am constantly getting who’s who wrong. Our minds broke. Don’t apologize for wanting simplicity.
I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with this. I think reacting emotionally makes things worse. Looking too hard for meaning or reason gives too much credibility to delusion. I am someone who tends to delve into the meaning of things and that can trigger delusion sometimes. My best option when Seraton tells me something especially, is to hear the comment and move on, as if all I’ve really heard is “the sky is blue”. So what, the sky is blue… I hope you can move through this hard time, @Rhubot. You deserve to be happy and at peace.
Me personally I just have to process it. I get weird little “attacks” sometimes and I just have to let it run its course, and focus on just not doing anything stupid. Last night my mother and her husband were out to dinner, and I forgot that they were seeing a play afterwards. So when it got late and they weren’t home, I started getting vivid intrusive thoughts that they had died in a car crash. I cried and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was better. I don’t really know how to prevent it, I just know how to hold on and ride it out. Remember that it will pass, that’s the most important thing.
No, I’m not right now. Standard treatment for psychotic depression here consists of mainly ADs, with APs added in crisis periods to stabilize. APs aren’t used for maintenance.
Thanks, both of you this is good advice. When I’m spending time with my roommate, or when I’m out keeping myself occupied, this doesn’t occur to me. It’s only when I’m alone and brooding, you’re right. I think I’ve been spending too much time isolated lately.
This helps a lot - I get the first a lot, sometimes I’m right, sometimes I’m not. The second I’ve gotten that, too. This all was beginning to seem so big and bizarre in my mind, I think especially because of how it makes me feel, that I was starting to really think bleak thoughts about it. It really helps to hear you remind me of similar things.
I’ve been wondering the same thing about an AP. I am going to tell my doctor, I see her next week. I can dispatch the idea pretty easily, but the sadness and insecurity just won’t go.
They do - they’re very similar. They have similar interests and outlooks and personalities. Which isn’t weird, they both have personalities that I think are attractive/awesome. They tend to think about the same things at the same time. If I tell one of them about something that’s bothering me, the other will bring it up without me saying anything.
I do know them both in real life, but neither are in the area and so it’s mainly phone/text when talking to them. So, yeah, I absolutely know they’re different people, but when I “see” them lately, they “look” the same, like words on a screen.
I don’t know. I don’t even get to the point of thinking that this super combined person doesn’t like me, just that s/he’s been tricking me. I just feel stupid and bereft. It is ridiculous to think, I remind myself every time, but it keeps popping up. The idea goes away pretty fast, the gut punch of it lingers.
Thanks, B This helps me define the issue - overactive pattern recognition coupled with insecurity. Gotta get it out of my head and dissect it.
I would talk to my pdoc, I had this delusion before but it was with my brother and one of our friends. They act alike and think alike so much so I started to think they were both aliens in their skin. that’s even scarier. I hope you can overcome this delusion.
That’s exactly the problem. It’s so easy to think, lol well that’s not true! But the feeling that comes with it is awful. It seems almost simultaneous, like a cold gust of wind coming in when I open the door for an unwelcome guest in winter. I can send the guest away soon enough, but the room is still chilly and there’s still snow and slush melting all over the floor.
I’ve been working hard on recognizing when I’m slipping and taking action on it. So here it is, I see it, but I don’t know what to do next Talk to my doctor. Keep myself occupied. Deal with other things that are stressing me out. Get out of the house. Spend time with people who aren’t tied up in some emotionally fraught tangle in my head.
This is a really good point, something my pdoc has been trying to get me to take on board. She wasn’t happy with me doing mindfulness meditation, she says I’m the sort who goes straight through mindfulness and out the other side.
I’ve been trying to pull back and just think about what it is, rather than what it means, but it’s obviously easier said than done. Thank you for the reminder
Ha, watch out or I’ll become convinced that you and I are the same person I’ve probably spent 47.3% of my life imagining the car wreck and crying myself to sleep over it.
this is good advice. When I’m spending time with my roommate, or when I’m out keeping myself occupied, this doesn’t occur to me. It’s only when I’m alone and brooding, you’re right. I think I’ve been spending too much time isolated lately.
I’ve gotten that, too. This all was beginning to seem so big and bizarre in my mind, I think especially because of how it makes me feel, that I was starting to really think bleak thoughts about it. It really helps to hear you remind me of similar things.
thank you, sweetheart
I’ve probably spent 47.3% of my life imagining the car wreck and crying myself to sleep over it.