I feel stuck in my adolescence years due to sz starting at that age. Now I am 30. It stopped my development. I was very good in school etc Sz impacted everything in my life negatively. I wanted to be a Dr and had the grades but then got sz and ended up with a physiotherapy degree. But now I can’t work or volunteer at all staying in bed all day everyday. I miss my friends from high school, university and church.
If there is a med that will fix my negative symptoms, will it be possible to get my life back and work on it?
I think I stopped growing at 22 years old.
Or is it too late and there is permanent damage? I feel that sz is really split mind, I feel like a worse and different person now than I was before sz.
At one point or another I felt like I am 8-9 years old lol. I’m not, but it feels like that sometimes. Sometimes, it’s good not to over express things.
I act immature and childish. It could be the asperger’s syndrome I have. I was always different. I got schizo-affective disorder depressive type, but wouldn’t be surprised if I got DID/MPD too or the latter instead. Nobody noticed my asperger’s until the psychosis hit. Then I started regressing and acting different.
My mom and people thought I had adhd growing up. I also had behaviorial problems growing up but don’t know. A lot of teenagers especially when raised by jerks can come off as narcissists. I don’t know. I sometimes wonder if my family secretly hated me for being semi-successful, entitled, arrogant, smart, and especially a staunch atheist.
When did you start having sz symptoms? Me 16 y.o.
I had an eating disorder growing up but grew out of it and recovered. It was because of my dad and we fought 24/7. I lived with him growing up.
I alse feel like I have that since a few years before my sz diagnosis.
Happened from substance induced psychosis (1.5 years later IIRC) based off my symptoms. Some thought I would recover, while others thought I had a more serious condition. The best thing about my condition is I rarely if ever hallucinated. Just other schizophrenia symptoms. At first it was dissociation + can’t work + “delusions” like matrix theory and wormholes. That’s it.
I’ve seen to have declined substantially but seem to have stopped questioning my existence and external reality (like going through extra dimensions even if it was a window or a room or door). Now I’m always scared, nervous, paranoid, and have “thousands” of delusions like delusions I’m talking to aliens in my head like them saying I’m immortal and we live in a computer simulation and that it’s on repeat and that I built it or escaped it, etc.
Pretty much yes.
I didn’t learn any appreciable skills since SZ.
I feel like it did initially. But now I’m more or less recovering really really well.
I’m not able to “love” life the way I used to, but the emotions of hope and love for life are slowly coming back I think.
I’ll be okay.
Same here. I also feel like my mind was uploaded to a PC – probably a quantum AI hologram. That I can see into my past and other timelines. The trauma was repititive but over many lifetimes which makes me think since I suffer from ‘transhumanism’ and mind uploading that it might be DID/MPD like but truly just schizoaffective non recoverable type. I think I had true insanity before in my first life and it got ‘cured’ but still suffer from some type of mild insanity. Like I think I definitely think way too much outside the box lol.
Fk sz, sometimes I feel like killing myself bcz I don’t want to live a life that isn’t mine. I am not me anymore since sz.
It messed up my life up pretty badly too Aziz… I had everything then boom, illness happens and I’ve lost everything. But hey we’re still in our thirties and have like 50 years ahead of us! Things can get better
I think the accumulating effect of doing things little by little toward what you want in life can have a great impact for yourself down the road… like practicing an instrument😶 maybe in a year or two you will be amazed on what you can do
I keep failing at everything.
Yeah… not seeing immediate result is stressing. But perhaps even trying or even having an interest on something is an improvement.
Even if it lasts for like 5 minutes… if it gives you a sense of positivity, that’s a gain
yea sz stopped my life kinda… i don’t progress anymore… i’m just stuck really. But i managed to accept it and now i’m ok with it… i know in my life won’t happen much anymore… basically every day will more or less be the same now.
yeah i think so, this is my new normal. and i have no ambition and am losing my will to live. sometimes i just want to be locked up in a long term hospital and not have to worry about bills, or work or anything that comes with freedom. dating is out of the picture, i just don’t know, im in a big funk, where the only thing that makes me content is a cigarette.
A combination of unrecognised ASD+ SMI in my case. I don’t think my parents helped either. They were polar opposites to the 'If you don’t come top in every subject we’ll be angry ’ type parents.
43 years on from school , never had a job ,functioning at a rather basic level and my father was still saying
I have always thought of you as at the high potential end of any scale.