i feel like, if i didn’t have it I would be much more independent and stuff you know? like when im afflicted with negative and cognitive symptoms and on meds im like in a vegetative state, or like an invalid, unable to take care of important adult stuff, or really do anything for that matter.
the reason im thinking this is because today i had a remission of some of my negative symptoms and i was like 10 times more capable of doing stuff than i usually am. it made me think ‘this isn’t fair at all!’ you know, ‘why am i so impaired all the time!’
so are we cursed to be invalids or basically adult children because no one can trust us to do all the things which make us capable adults?
ps, this question isn’t for the “high functioning” crowd
another thing ive been thinking about, i really struggle with muddled thinking all the time. brain fog i would call it, and a very short attention span. an inability to commit to things, thought distortion; important things seem really important and some of my focuses border on delusion.
im not really connected to the world, like ive lost the cognitive abilities to understand a complex world of social relations. i can certainly talk and write about some stuff but there is very little going on beneath the surface when you really get me and talk to me. i dont know anything about current events for example
sz has literally cut me off from the adult world in many ways, in fact, even some children are more functional than i am, do you feel it has done the same to you?
with sz and on meds im desperate, i dont make eye contact, i dont go out, when i speak im like this wishy washy little kid, no tact, my thoughts come slowly, i speak laboriously, i do very few deliberate actions, i feel no anger or arousal
before i spoke like a man, like a grown man who knew what he was doing. now im the opposite
That’s what I’ve gone through and now I do everything for myself except work. I don’t think I’ll get well enough to get a job and keep it. But I’m satisfied with what I have now.
I used to be suffered from severe symptoms and couldn’t do anything worthwhile. I attempted suicide a couple of times out of despair. While I was on Abilify I gained over 20 kilos and suffered from other side effects but my cognitive symptoms got a little better so I collected all the info I needed to find the right med for me. Then I asked my doctor to stop Abilify and start Ronasen which is my current med that’s worked.
This is the way I got out of the nightmare. Hope this helps.
how long did it last exactly, im only two and a half years in myself and i feel like im walking with a huge weight. i feel mentally feeble, though im certainly not considering suicide.
blonanserin looks like a regular atypical antipsychotic to me from reading the wiki page. it has some good qualities but otherwise it seems to do the same old stuff. what positive things did you hear about it which made you want to try it?
im taking abilify and agree that it has extreme side effects, its derivative med rexulti is a bit more tolerable. abilify causes terrible akathisia and mental unrest. not to mention cognitive dulling and other eps. not to be recommended.
I too feel this way. I literally can’t function fully like a responsible adult without my husband. If something where to happen to anyone in my support system. I’d fall apart and wouldn’t know how to do normal tasks. I’m really sheltered. It’s tough, but one thing I’ve found that helps me not be too paranoid is getting involved in paying bills, getting acquainted with normal routine things so it doesn’t seem so foreign and it eases the stress of losing my support a bit. Still working on it.
if you CAN work on it youre doing something right! so many of us are incapable AND arent moving in any positive direction, or rather we dont have the ability to hope for something better. i wish you success in becoming more adult/independent