God appeared to me, and I couldn’t handle His glory and transcendence.
This is an hypothesis. A personal explanation.
Is this a delusion?
I feel dizzy again… Should I call my psychiatrist?
Am I dizzy because of big doses, or it’s withdrawal after reducing zyprexa from 40 to 20?
Is it a trigger for anyone?
It’s not my intention to cause any problems.
Did he appear to you? Could you describe the experience?
Total emptiness. Bliss without limits.
Existence stable and permanent.
I’ve been meditating for 10 years.
I have been through samadhis and ecstasies.
Lately, God appeared as Goddess Annette.
That was my first “psychotic” episode
When you say “appear” you mean as a voice? Was there a visual component?
When in meditation, there was void, no mental image of the Almighty.
When I heard the goddess, I imagined her as ball of light. She was of auditory nature.
She aroused me. It was love, Bhava samadhi
As you know I’m with you about the possibility that sz is spiritual, or at very least, existentional in nature.
Even if it’s not wholly spiritual. It has spiritual parts, and pieces of truth. Everything contains some truth
My God episode lasted 3 days. I was pissed when I woke up in the hospital and I couldn’t hear or feel him anymore. I had such a sense of relief and peace during that episode.
Who took you to the hospital?
I experienced it at home.
They found me just standing by the road a couple miles from home…no coat middle of December and comatose. I’m lucky some evil person didn’t grab me.
Oh God. You were lucky. Since then have you had any spiritual experience again?
No if I even get a hint I’m becoming delusional I say the code word to my sister and she brings me to the doctor.
So your religious experience was not pleasant? Right? You don’t desire any of it again
It was wonderful…God gave me all the answers life made sense and wasn’t scary.
It was a delusion.
It was wonderful for me too.
It’s true: my first psychotic episode was blissful.
I miss it sometimes
But I was crazy back then.
I wrote love poems about her on reddit in something like delirium, and I wrote a love letter on a real paper, asking her to marry me