Hi, I’ve been going through alot. Alot of the time during prayer I experience “outbursts.” Vocal outbursts and facial grimacing and even nonsense speech. I am in control of myself, but I have these outbursts. It is not involuntary, I have to choose to have them, and at times they are very hard (or impossible) to supress. I have reacted to them by casting them out. I might feel better, the intensity would go down, and it would be easier to pray. Though at some point it would be back to where it was. When I pray I say I feel like the deceived, those who have lost it. I have schizophrenia. I don’t know what to think of this. I regard it as an attack. Yet again in prayer I say I feel like the deceived. It seems to have been getting worse recently, more recurrent, that sometimes I don’t even want to confront it.
Are you on any meds? But if you think you have schizophrenia you should see a doctor as soon as you can.
Thank you for responding. I am taking an injection and I have been stable for many years. For the last couple years been going through this.
I’m sorry to hear that. Have you spoken to your doctor about it?
I think there is just some interference going on within you. Some people call it demons that need to be cast out. Are you writing about praying in public or alone? Maybe, while you pray, you should focus on someone you love. That in itself is uplifting.
When I was first what I now know to be psychotic, I prayed so passionately that I “prayed in tongues” before I had ever heard of praying in tongues. I didn’t know what I was saying. I was harassed constantly by demons and rebuked them but felt them with me and saw them all the time.
Anyway, what is real and what is psychosis? At the end of the day, it matters less whether or not the experience is real than how you live with whatever it is.
I still rebuke demons, but far less often. I live with one foot in the physical world and one foot in the spiritual. I understand that my mind is creating many things because of sz, but that my reaction to those things is what counts. The less upset I get, the less importance I give to the things that might otherwise completely dominate my life, the better I can function.
In my opinion, those of us who have a faith and want to maintain a spiritual life can do so if we keep focused on stability and function…
Have you asked your doctor about possible Tourette’s or OCD? Your outbursts seem very similar to mine, and that’s the reason my doctor gave for them. They do feel controllable, but sometimes the urge to act on them is too overpowering. I treat them using neurofeedback, which is a form of brain training therapy.
I don’t have outbursts, but I do get similar feelings. Those feelings could be false and just caused by MI. I recommend talking to your doctor about the feelings and also talk to a trusted spiritual leader if you have one, so that they can help you understand what is likely true and what is coming from the MI.
I have had strange behavior but I actually felt out of control when I did it. I have spoken in “foreign languages” (not really, I was babbling), danced ballet, performed martial arts (I have no idea how to do either), used sign language (don’t know it), played air guitar in public thinking I actually knew what I was doing (I can’t play any musical instrument) and done other odd things in public. Meds have kept me from doing anything strange for over a year now. My only advice would be look into a higher dose or a med adjustment. At least you feel in control. I felt like I was being controlled, which is really scary.
When you say, those who have lost it, what or who are you referring to?
Hi. There are many who cast out devils. And books on spiritual warfare abound. I am leery about buying a book on spiritual warfare. I ask lots of questions. But if there is what is genuine there must be counterfeit as well too right.
To me all this is a mystery, but I might just tell my Psychiatrist what is going on with me. I hope I don’t start a debate. This is a good website and I was encouraged a lot by the comments.
Hey, when it comes to religion, delusions fit right in there.
When I was growing up we kids were told via the Catholic religion, that we were all sinners. In turn we all had to go to confession. Anyone who claimed to have committed no sins, was violently opposed, and this was so even if we were talking about the committing of no sins in just the last week. Thus the religion ABSOLUTELY DEMANDED that we be sinful trash. Although, they did say that we were to be sinless while we were within the four walls of the confessional booth. This was the only place within the entire world in which we where allowed to be sinless.
So don’t feel to bad. There is lots more crazy stuff going on out there in the world.
Sometimes you just have to hang onto your seat belts.
No it was just a simple question.
I wouldn’t think to deep about this at all.
I wouldn’t even have reasoning for it.
But if you want to make reasoning of it, why don’t you just simple understand what your saying.
You feel deceived, like those who have lost it, and you have schizophrenia.
So you feel deceived like the lost ones,
so try to find the courage to acknowledged these things you feel deceived about and lost about. You acknowledge it is a illness, but just may be caught up in some inner conflictions of it all.
Well just a opinion, i wouldn’t think to deep about it. Have a good one today
I realize that I made a lot less sense than I thought I did. The simple idea is that if I commanded it to leave, and it seemed to have left, yet at another point in time I am found again in the first predicament: Did it leave in the first place? Thank you for your response. In any case I am feeling a lot better today than I felt back then.
Looks like you need to talk your psychiatrist about increase your medication or changing it, something is wrong. You shouldn’t be experiencing what your experiencing now. Get medical help soon. Hope you feel better.