my family will read this. Can you let them know how awful this illness schizophrenia is
Yes it is a horrible illness
I fight it some days I feel I’m winning and other days feel I’m not
It’s a cruel illness
Shattered thinking, self-defeatism (Much of the time), not understanding people (emotionally or otherwise), constant barrage of abuse, worrying about everything imaginable all at the same time, not knowing if things are real, not knowing what to believe, not knowing where the illness starts and your personality begins. I could go on, but it’s not a great thing really to deal with and I try to be positive if possible. Just where I am at at the moment.
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The schizophrenic mind is not split; it is shattered (Saks, 2007).
Welcome to a world where dreams become nightmares (Deuce from Hollywood Undead).
Even your greatest dreams will only become memories (Me, 2013): the wisest thing I have ever said.
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You lose reality, you lose control, you lose your ability to cope, so you take meds.
You lose friends, you lose jobs, you lose all your senses, so you take meds.
It runs its own course, you don’t have a choice. You lose your best years.
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It’s true but it’s not nice to face the truth sometimes
It is a sad sorry state of affairs
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And you get left on the shelf
Dusty forgotten
Out in the cold
Yes It Can Be A Living Breathing Nightmare ,
Thankfully There Are Some Moments , Perhaps Days , Perhaps Weeks ,
Where A Smile Of Innocence Pulls Us Throo tha Darkness ,
Some Space and Clean Respect Would Be Nyse … .
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When I don’t take my meds, all night I hear my sister or mom screaming about the really graphic ways they are being tortured. Intestines getting ripped out while they are still awake. It is a horrifying disease to have.
Whenever I am hating someone and wishing something really bad on them, what I wish is that they experience all the turmoil and anguish I have experienced from this illness. That is bad enough.
it feels like your mind being raped, for days, days turn into weeks, and you’re still being raped, then weeks turn into months and the rape goes on, others may join the party, months turn into years…
This illness is the same hell. (From my experience).
Tolteca.
While half aware of the illness you can’t trust your senses. What you feel, see, hear or taste might not be what it is. It’s a life in fear.
I hear a child scream in terror. It’s a very hard hallucination to cope with. I HAVE TO check my kids if they are ok. Every time. It freaks me out. I know it’s false but I have to. Just in case.
You might believe your family is turning against you. I thought my 9-years old son would kill me in my sleep.
it sucks. there is nothing fun about losing touch with reality. it’s a constant battle.
It is absolutely horrendous. My mind simply doesn’t work. That covers about everything else…
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it is like being the star of your own personal horror movie…24/7… 
take care 
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I think we all live in a different world. We just agree to stay in our own lanes and stop for pedestrians and red lights,so to speak in an analogous way.
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For me, schizophrenia while I was delusional was like going to Viet Nam in the fiercest and goriest of combat. I used to tell people it’s like I went to Nam. I still think about the loss of career and livelihood as something that haunts me. My mind is still haunted though I am stable.
Schizophrenia,most people suffer from it are never lucky.Once a while you will feel fine,but there will be lots of bad stressful day also
You’ll be in the store and a voice in your mind says “Don’t worry, im sure she won’t cut your head off.”
Or crossing the street a voice says in your mind “If you catch your head just right on the front of that truck you won’t feel a thing.”
Or voices saying “We came at eighteen. It’s been fifteen years. You will end your life at thirty three.”
And there was that one time you were shocked horribly and a face made of light appeared grinning at you. Or that other time you were burned and a face made of light appeared to you. Everyone just goes “you didn’t feel that, it wasn’t real.” But it hurt like ■■■■.
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