Do you sometimes get overwhelmed by having this mystery illness that’s cause is not known? I’m thinking it’s kind of nice to pitty myself sometimes. It’s nice to be a patient and have someone take care of you…I mean the docs. Cause mine really cares and worries about me.
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I don’t really accept it. I think my PTSD is just out of control. But I feel ashamed and humiliated by the diagnosis. I feel worthless.
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It’s a condition, it’s manageable, it doesn’t rule me. I’m more concerned about my pacemaker making my life crap right now.
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I wonder whether my life would have been better if I didn’t have it. But I don’t know.
Most people think life would be better without it but in my case I’m not so sure. I was capable of making very bad decisions. Now I’ve learned how to make better decisions.
I think about it everyday though. Was I saved from a dismal fate by having schizophrenia.
Strange thoughts I know.
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All I can say is I’m glad you have a good dr. That cares. I’ve had a lot of morons.
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I think this illness is very overwhelming because it touches very deep parts of a human…like mind and soul . They say when a human is formed mind body and soul…(the three circles) unite and voila a baby is born. Now this disease probably effects at least two of the most deepest parts mind and soul. So if it was just one part you would know what the problem is. But it’s probably two parts…so these two parts communicate to each other …two faulty parts…that causes alot of confusion.
I just want to live a decent life and do the best I can with the people I love. My illness makes me take a different path in life, than what the average person takes and that’s okay. Everyone has his own problems to deal with in life. At least I know what my problems are, and are getting the right help for it. Some people don’t even know what their problems are, let alone how to deal with them. I’m grateful for who I am.
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Very well said @anon78876561 !
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I feel the same way. In denial. And feel it’s just sever ptsd. Also feel worthless and weak.
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My doctor says it is not going on that it is sz. I wish it were. My life is always in danger.
I am bitter. My life was headed in the right direction. I lost so much.
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It was an affliction I chose in the premortal life to help me grow. That means it’s a blessing disguised as an affliction. I can clearly see how it has helped me grow into the person and disciple I am today. It’s the best thing to ever happen to me. I’m much more humble, patient, calm and wiser to name a few. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I think it f******n sucks…
Hate this illness … It’s made me suffer terribly.
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It sucks. I dont do much. Furthermore, I’m aware I’m in a time loop. I think nothing is real sometimes and that I’m in a computer or simulation.
I have memories of past lives.
I guess it’s just mental illness or sz. My doctor thinks I’m bipolar.
If I’m bipolar, I seem to have got brain damage too.
This is a great thread!
I accept this affliction. I accept help to do well in the midst of it. I accept my responsibilities in light of it. And I accept that I can not determine the outcome of my days lived with it.
It’s really hard, and some days I want to die so it ends. But it has shown me the greatest, most compassionate parts of other people. I’ve received excellent care from friends, family, and doctors. They have persevered and fought for me, even when I couldn’t fight for myself.
I’m incredibly in awe of strugglers on this forum. You all are honest and open. You are brave, strong, and inspiring. You battle every day. You give it your all. I’m amazed.
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Sometimes in my dreams I use schizophrenia as an excuse. I am working an old warehouse job and I just can’t complete a certain task. I realize that I can’t and I’ve schizophrenia and I say this. It happens often in my dreams.
In reality I never do use that. ( may be once or twice with tossers from the government when complaining about some injustice! ). I just do what I need to do and do it the best I can do!
How do I feel? I wish I’d known all about sz a lot earlier. I was different and not diagnosed till 29 even after a major depressive break. That could have saved me some heartache but the secrets and misinformation from my family didn’t help me out there!+
I feel it’s given me a very interesting life and shaped the person I am today. I don’t know how I would be without it. For these reasons I don’t regret having it. On the negative side I feel it really has disconnected me from most people to where I’ve lived a very lonely life even if externally I had friends. And it has caused a lot of damage to my mind heart and soul that will never be undone. For these reasons I feel mournful for having the disorder.
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It sucks, not gonna lie.
I do wish I didn’t have it, but I’ve accepted that that’s just how it is. I can’t escape it, might as well learn to live with it.
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It sucks, but I don’t commiserate about it. Schizophrenia is just the existential card I have been dealt. Lots of other people have big problems in their lives too.
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I could take it or leave it.