I’ve decided that I hate living with schizophrenia. I feel like a black sheep in my family now. I just visited my brothers and realized how much of an outcast of the family I am. My brother is super successful and I am going to be stuck living at home on disability for the rest of my life. I’ll never have big money, I never feel like I used to, It’s just so frustrating. A moment of joy is like finding a diamond. To actually laugh feels so good when it happens now. I try to stay positive but right now I’m just tired of everything. Sometimes life just doesn’t seem fair.
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I feel the same way too. My siblings normal and have jobs and make money and are independent and I’m not. At least I have a husband to support me. Without him I’d need disability and don’t know if I could work. Feel useless. Try to write books and paint but good days few and far between
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I find music helps me stay cheerful. But have to listen alone as my husband only likes islamic songs and is of opinion that other music not allowed. So I listen in secret. But it’s so helpful to me! Makes me feel so relaxed and happy.
Reading keeps me happy too. If I can’t read then it means I’m really not doing well
Theirs hope, medication helps with symptom, its suck you have take rest your life. but thats how it is, their programs out for mental disability, you can work part time, for my state nj i can earn 58,000 dollars and have 20,000 in asset and still have medicaid and ssdi. Its not all bad. Go to local social service office to find programs, you have find it out yourself. Remeber noone is going to do it for you. Do you research youll find what your looking for. Dont let schizophrenia stop from your dreams. Its a little bump in road.
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I can’t even manage money. I have addiction and spending issues. My parents manage my money.
I stay in bed all day everyday, can’t even play videogames on my own, I need my friend to call me to play for 30 min. He called me earlier today and I said no bcz I had a fever from covid19.
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I used to write and record my own music. I feel lucky to be able to listen to whatever I want. Music made me very paranoid at first but I’ve finally realized that the songs aren’t about me
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AA says, “Don’t compare your insides to other peoples outsides”.
Your brother has his problems too, I guarantee it.
And life doesn’t stop when you become schizophrenic. It takes getting used to for sure and it’s hard to accept all the changes in your life but hey, stick around here and you’ll see plenty of people doing stuff in their life; from working to going to school to getting married. And lots of other stuff.
And I see people complaining about their lives but two days later they will list some nice little victory such as going out with a friend or going out to eat with their parents or exercising or a multitude of other accomplishments. That’s how schizophrenia affects everybody, and that’s how life in general affects people who don’t have schizophrenia too.
One day you’re up, and the next day you’re down. Some days you get up and try to live life and sometimes you’re the pigeon and sometimes you’re the statue. People with schizophrenia can still accomplish stuff.
Nobody likes schizophrenia but you have to play the hand you were dealt.
Our lives are harder than most but definitely not hopeless.
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I also hate sz, I also also hate when you say you hate something and someone says, “that’s a strong word” I know that why I said it.
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I hate it too, having no mental stability and nothing making sense, along with what others are saying.
I def have good days and bad ones. But you’re right. I shouldn’t compare. It’s just a fresh wound and it made me feel like crap leaving my brothers. Now my parents are asking if I’ll start volunteering. I hate when they put pressure on me. Like, I’m paranoid, if I volunteer around other people I’ll be paranoid too. I can deal with it but still. They don’t understand schizophrenia is a constant thing
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I hate it too. I hate everyone who does not have schizophrenia.
Lol that’s a good one Nick 
so true!
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Sometimes I get sad… Like… Why… Am I wasting so much time… Doing nothing… I hope something good comes out of it… Like future appreciation of productivity for if I recover.
@pasteyface Hate will destroy your soul. Try to live in peace with you. 
That’s easy to say. I also have difficulty in accepting SZ.
If Schizophrenia were an old man I’d kick him in the back of the knees and hope he cracks his head on the pavement.
However schizophrenia is a disease, so I gotta take pills and treat myself right to kick its ass. I’m cracking my knuckles punching that disease so hard but its like that old man is Clark Kent.
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“I’ve decided that I hate living with schizophrenia.”
Welcome to the club :^) I think that most people who suffer from schizophrenia don’t like it.
“I feel like a black sheep in my family now. I just visited my brothers and realized how much of an outcast of the family I am”
Not liking social gatherings, even with close family is pretty normal when you have schizophrenia, I hate them. Personally I just meet people one or two at a time (including family) and I avoid big gatherings.
“I am going to be stuck living at home on disability for the rest of my life.”
Yes schizophrenia can’t be cured, but you can recover from the symptoms of it and live a good life if you’re prepared to try.
“I’ll never have big money”
Debatable but you’re probably right. Most of the people on this planet don’t have big money so why beat yourself up over it!? Money is relevant but it really isn’t everything.
“I never feel like I used to,”
Sorry to hear that. Change is part of life. Things never stay the same. If you feel bad now things can change in future so you’ll feel better.
“A moment of joy is like finding a diamond.”
That’s a good insight and very poetic. True, joy can sometimes be rare. It isn’t easy to find true joy in this life.
“I try to stay positive”
Good bro, keep trying :^) everyone has bad days.
“I’m just tired of everything.”
It’s good that you recognize that you’re fed up with your current circumstances. Now that you know that you’re fed up with them you can try to improve them if you want.
“Sometimes life just doesn’t seem fair.”
It isn’t, and it never has been.
Right now, I’m doing good mentally since I switched to Abilify. I’m only having sleep issues on it. The last year or two I’ve come down with arthritis in my left hip and knee. That’s what making my life miserable now.
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its it what it is.
Well, if you make a habit out of kicking old men in the back of the knees, then we’re definitely not best friends anymore.
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