Schizophrenia.com

Schizophrenia is the hardest thing in my life


#1

We had family therapy. I said, “Life with schizophrenia is hard.” Someone said, “It’s hard being a mom with little kids.” I think they think I complain about schizophrenia as a cover up for thinking life is hard.

This week both of my kids are sick. We went to the doctor’s. They have fevers, double ear infection, and a sinus infection. My son was sick on his birthday, and didn’t get to bring his cupcakes to school. We canceled play dates. We’ve been home in our two bedroom apartment recording Tylenol, Motrin, and amoxicillin doses.

But, I’ve had less symptoms than I have since the Summer. So though it felt hard, it didn’t feel nearly as hard as schizophrenia does on a day with symptoms.

I want to say, “Family member, I know life is hard. But it is ten thousand times harder with schizophrenia. You have no idea how it feels.”

Also, in 2011 I was hit by a car. I had five surgeries and missed 10 months of work. I would get hit by a car 20 times over one day with schizophrenia.


#2

Especially because I don’t know what will happen tomorrow in terms of psychosis and the aftermath, if anything, regarding that disease.


#3

I wish I could let my wife feel what it’s like to be me just for a minute. She would never question me again when I say I am going to bed.

When I feel like going to bed early it’s because I have had enough misery for that day.

I can relate.


#4

I know, right? I’ve made plans with friends only to cancel them. I’ve started jobs I’ve had to quit. I started college and had to withdraw. I told my story to a crowd of a few hundred people. I told them, “I can’t predict when I will see or hear things or how I will react.” It’s tough.


#5

I feel you. My daughter just got over a double whammy of the flu and bronchitis and dealing with that was still easier than over the summer when I was more symptomatic and the sz was flaring.


#6

Definitely. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but it would help so much if they had a glimpse! My psychiatrist tells me things to say to my family to help them understand. They’re super supportive, but they don’t struggle with mental illness, so they don’t know how it feels.

I’ve often wondered if someone could try taking meds for a few weeks, too, just to see how it feels, what the side effects are like.


#7

YEEEEEESSSS! Totally! You get it! I feel bad for my kids, but for me it was a great week because I wasn’t seeing a man at my bed every night or hearing children crying for me in the dark (hallucinations).


#8

Yes! And you’re experiencing both, so what was the point?!
People in my life don’t understand, but they can’t and I have to remind myself. They just can’t.


#9

They really have no idea. All I can do is explain myself. They have to trust us when we tell them how it feels.


#10

I don’t think anyone wants to know. It’s too uncomfortable. My husband doesn’t even want to know what I experience.
It doesn’t matter if I write it, try to explain it (which is hard to do), or paint what I see, it’s just too foreign and no one can hear it.


#11

For a child there is nothing more painful than an earache. I hope things go smoothly for you guys during the stress. About the topic, the crazy thing is I have to pretend it’s not the hardest thing in my life in order to act normal and get some enjoyability out of life.


#12

What an unempathic remark of this person.

Being schizophrenic is hard. Being a mum of young kids, despite all its trouble, is a major blessing. I wish i could be with my son fulltime and have all the daily life issues instead of struggling with deep terrors. All my normal life is SO extremely easy compared to what i fear in psychosis and the side effects of meds.


#13

I dont think schizophrenia is that hard.

Worse things.

Like being blind, or having no limbs etc etc


#14

Really?

I would easily give up all my limbs to get rid of the terror and meds and feel safe again. Perhaps it depends on the type of symptoms you have as well. For me, how i feel within, is much more important for my quality of life than outside stuff - e.g. an eye or a leg more or less. :slight_smile:


#15

I remember those days with sick kids

you give good care @LouiseG

I have my fan running all the time

and I hear things, not sure what to do

I’m hot all the time

otherwise it’s olfactory hallucinations

which tends to be a running joke I guess

with my brother and Phil. I’m able to laugh too.


#16

It’s definitely a hard life. Raising kids can be, too, from what I have observed. They’re both hard. I think you’re doing a really good job. For me, at the end of the day I know no one’s gonna truly understand. I’ve decided it doesn’t matter one way or the other, at least to me. I’m just doing the best I can and that’s that.


#17

How to ruin a Life!


#18

In this fall I had a series of bad events.

I had an unsuccessful hernia surgery, a car crash totaled my car, another hernia surgery, an allergic reaction to hernia surgery meds, a few other things in a couple weeks like ruining my phone (I admit was more hard than a lot of things) but NOTHING pales in comparison to an average season with schizophrenia.

I mean, I’m still schizoaffective but now on good meds, the hardest three month periods of my life were NOT the three months that I had a lot of bad ■■■■ happen, but was stable. But harder than that were the three month periods when I was not stable but nothing really bad happened out of chance beside schizophrenic symptoms and stuff.

Like in 2011…life was hard for no reason other than schizophrenia really. But that was harder than fall of 2018 when a lot of bad stuff happened but was still stable.

So a lot of it is perspective. They really don’t know what it’s like.

There are some things that are hard (life things, raising children) but those things are not impossible (like succeeding with unmedicated/wrongly Medicated schizophrenia practically was for me). I was doomed to psych wards as my ultimate fate no matter what.

Please hang in there


#19

sz is damn tough…my ssister is quite ignorant…she has said that she is not privileged not to have to work…she has said im lazy…she hasmt a clue…sz ia=]s damn tough


#20

Hi
I’ve been struggling badly in the last couple of years, I’ve had issues with work, therapy and my parents and I’ve been derealized for quite a bit of that period.
It’s been a very bad relapse, and I do apologize for any untoward comments i posted last year, i was unhinged for a good portion of the year.
Hopefully I’m not jumping to conclusions but i think the worst of it is over. At the moment I’m not entirely sure I’ll be as happy as I was before this relapse, maybe I have to adjust to a new life, but that’s fine.
The dose of the antipsychotic is incredibly high at the moment and they added promethazine for sleep and anger, everything else is the same.
I was on paliperidone for a while during the previous period, but it didn’t really work for me, and it would have been too expensive if I switched to a private hospital or practice. Risperidone is a comfier ap so they put me back on it.
I just hope that when the pieces are picked up my parents don’t hate me, it would’ve been a stressful period for them even without the relapse. If it was me that was my dad I’d have been permanantly hospitalized by now.
Hopefully the anger continues to improve, and i continue not to hallucinate and get a grip on my thoughts.
That’s all, sorry if I seemed like an upstart, but i was going through 2 of the worse years of my life.
I’ll turn 32 on january 19th…hopefully it’s all over
Thank you