When you have a libido but no interest in actual sex I can’t even imagine ever having sex with someone honestly. Really can’t. Donno if that’s just because of my f***d up tactile hallucinations ruining it for me or because I’m naturally like that but I just don’t ever want to get into that situation. A shame because I do like guys.
@Anna, I had sex for the first time in seven years recently and found out that I’m nowhere near as asexual as I thought. Nonetheless, I am going back to celibacy because relationships are just too complicated and scary for me. They always seem to lead me into trouble.
I’ve heard it said that sex for young guys is strictly physical with the raging hormones. But as you get older, sex is more in your head. And that’s where I’m at now. I seem to appreciate women more and I fantasize a lot and my fantasies are much more intense and satisfying.
I might not ever have sex again but I’m sure not closing the door on the possibility.
When I see all the ugly, obnoxious schmucks of the world with a woman on their arm, I think to myself, "Hey, I’m ugly and obnoxious and a schmuck, so I fit the criteria perfectly which means there must be a woman for me out there somewhere, lol!! If all it takes to get a girlfriend or sex is being a schmuck then I’m quite a catch.
I feel the same way, yet I have not written it off completely. Sex is just something I am not ready for. Socially I am never in a position where I could meet someone new naturally, and have no friends anymore to introduce me to someone.
I did have the chances in the past, but I always reacted very strangely to it all and pushed them away.
Makes me question whether I have ever really given anyone the chance to get that close
28 years-no sex. No attempt to get any.
I’m asexual. When I feel the need, I take care of it myself.
Should I get a partner who likes sex, I would expect them to take care of their own needs themselves as well.
I hate it when people act like it’s my responsibility to bring them release.
I’m just like “you’ve got hands, don’t you?”
I seem to be asexual too.
I have a early menopause that has dried me up but I can still enjoy sex.
graphic sexual content
I was raped sometimes and a sl## other times but it was against my will or someone else in me making me do it like it was not me … not my spirit etc just my body.
It was destructive.
I remember I had great sex where I used to cry on the guys face.
He licked my a### and then I would ride him until our hearts clicked and I would scream for the top of my lungs and cry and feel intimacy and surrounded by a good vibrant energy .
I would if targeted some variation in poses postures though.
My best male friend who was also my boyfriend on n off was a great love of my life but it’s as if sex with me made him uncomfortable despite that we loved each other deeply we did not connect sexually and so it has been with others too …
No intimacy or closeness sexually but without sex we were great .we cuddled ,held hands , laughed together etc
He was so good to me and I was so sick back then.
That was when I was hearing voices screams gunshots moans etc for years.
My current partner and I have not had sex for over six weeks.
When we do we do not seem to connect and have the sacred unity and intimacy.
I think dog style can be so negative depending on how .
I feel like a thing … not a desired loved woman but like a hole n I suspect he looks at his Angelina Jolie’s poster on the wall while taking me from behind.
It’s belitteling or I can’t find the word but I feel like Iwe are not connecting n intimate and it’s not at all what I want and know it could be.
Like I’m not worth much to him like that chick in game of thrones husband b4 her friend showed her how .
But I don’t go release easily
I think I’ve come just looking into a mans eyes once.
I was celibate for five years.
I pray for my sexlife n our relationship.
What if I never have great sex love making ever again .
My man distances himself from me somehow.
He was with his x for twelve years and they used to make love all night which we don’t.
Deepak chopra said something about good sex being free emotion and flow or something.
This can be awoken.
I want to make love
Have my body loved and treating it right.
I usually scratch his back but he doesn’t scratch mine.
I’ll go down on him but he will not ever go down on me.
It can smell bad sometimes but mostly not I shower every second day
Used to be daily .
I do not connect with people
I did connect with a brown eyed man
Was like we knew each other deeply and that our spirits laughed together as we had same similar humour and connection and love.
My man and I take care of each other.
A peck on the lips daily .
Say I love you but we do not get into sex so well.
It makes me feel aweful like meat piece when he does his behind thing.
Like he does not hold me high at all.
I hope he has not cheated because I saw something on him and I had myself tested just before we met and was clean and I’ve been faithful.
I will speak with my dr next tome.
He may be a bit bossy n controlling in one way but he is a great partner.
He plays computer games and I knit.
He helps me when I feel panic etc
We are nice to each other but …
Sexually it is as it is…
He has threatened to kick me out so I am thinking if I should try find a place of my own and that way I will not be homeless if he does and we can just visit often or so …
I love him .
He also has medication that might cause lack of sensation and feeling .
Sexually I am not very active
I do not masturbate .
Good Wishes to us for great love making willed it be.
My partner and I had a awesome missionary pose a few times but it was not mutual cause I got off n he didn’t.
I believe things can improve.
I value cuddles , nice words and kindness etc
Anyway good wishes to us all on forum.
️:pray:t3:
Lots of people have relationships with out sex but are still faithful and do not sex others.
Friendship
Kindness
Love
Care support
Cuddles
Etc
Was /is
I have mainly had pretty bad sex
I think I’m rather a sexual now
I miss feeling intimacy
One could even marry with out sex but a great relationship where your good to n for each other
I’m somewhere between asexual and bisexual. I have found about three people attractive my entire life. I usually didn’t develop that attraction until after knowing them for months/years. Still, the idea of having sex with them was nauseating to me. My fantasies just involved kissing. When I met Mr. Star, I didn’t even want to hold his hand for over a month. He was fine with it, because he also feels this way about sex. But, after a long time, I started to feel comfortable around him. He started to feel comfortable around me. I can explain how we worked our way up to a sexual relationship, but I’ll put it under a summary so people who don’t care to read about my sex life can skip.
Slightly graphic sexual content
After around two or three months, we started trying physical stuff. First, we just tried kissing. That went well, and didn’t freak us out. So we moved onto other things. We started “taking care of ourselves” in front of each other. That way, it was the togetherness feeling of sex without the shakey terror of actually touching each other. Sometimes, just he would go or just I would. Whenever we started doing something, and one of us got uncomfortable, we would immediately stop.
We slowly worked up to touching each other. First, just somewhere neutral, like holding hands or lying next to each other while doing things. Then we experimented with other places. We figured out what we liked and what we didn’t. If we didn’t do anything for a month or two, neither of us cared. Eventually, we worked our way up to having sex. It actually felt enjoyable, and not icky. Condoms help a lot. You should always wear one anyways, but in our case, the less bodily fluids we came into contact with, the less icky we found it. Not all condoms are the same, either. If one type didn’t work, we could always try another one.
Now, as married people, we sometimes have sex and sometimes can’t. When we can’t, we show our affection in other ways. We go back to just doing things in front of each other, or naked cuddling, or clothed cuddling. Intimate time doesn’t always have to mean sexual time. We talk openly about how we are feeling. We respect each other, and never complain or try to push each other. If you have to push yourself to have sex, your brain will remember it as a negative experience and not want a repeat.
I’m not saying every asexual person is like us. I don’t even know if we are asexual, or if it’s more a PTSD thing. But I do want to give hope to anyone who worries about being alone forever just because you’re not wired like everyone else. Relationships are different for everyone. If you want a relationship, you can find one. It may or may not involve any sex at all, depending on your comfort levels. If you don’t want one, that’s fine, too.
@Ninjastar How did you do that with the slightly graphic content ie so you can only see it if you click on the arrow? Is it a BB code thing or a forum software thing?
Perhaps a sticky with an explanation of these ‘extra’ posting tools might be in order ?
I appreciate my man with or /and without sex too.
Love to us all on forum
️:pray:t3:
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It’s the “hide details” option under the gear icon.
My libido has always been low even with pre sza. I’m it was fun exploring in my teens cuz it was new but now not so much
I’m not asexual, I have a good libido, and can fall in love with a guy, but there is so horribly much trauma and guilt and fear related to sexuality for me that the last time I became even just a bit sexual almost caused a psychotic break in me (not at the same moment, but after my boyfriend left). I felt bad for 2 months, because I didn’t really assert my boundaries and was terribly scared of STDs and pregnancy (which was completely impossible if you see what happened) and being punished by God for having sex outside of marriage. I think I felt bad about going further than I was comfortable with and ignored my own feelings and then had a backlash-effect afterwards.
So uhm… at this moment I feel it’s not really worth it and I’d better become asexual. My interest in sex is kind of gone. I find it a bit of a shame as well.
Maybe if I’d meet someone who wants to approach me like @Ninjastar describes I want to give it a new try. That kind of gave me hope!
graphic sexual content
I think it depends on who your sex partner is.
If your giving them oral sex but they refuse to give it back …
If your not sexualy connecting and it’s a stagnated energy…
I noticed I give my man head scratches and he does not give me any …
I give him oral sex but he doesn’t give me any ever…
We cuddle daily and a peck on lips and say I love you to each other which is sweet n precious but our sex life is not what it could be…
He might be thinking why bother…
He has also complained about my breast being to small and p#### being to big and non muscular but I’m not incontinent …
I will try to improve myself inside and out .
I understand people can be couple with out sex and be faithful.
I might not get to have a sex love making life before I die.
I do not want to sleep around and I want a steady partner.
I had memory or delusions about being molested.
I have been raped but have also been a slu# despite not wanting too I think someone else was steering me .
My man did hold my hand and make me dinner when I was really unwell so that’s sweet .
I would love to have a sex life but he does not seem interested and it’s more me who scratches his head and rubs him etc
He does not seem to do things for on me so it’s not mutual but in his defence he is in pain so I’m trying to relieve his pain by rubbing the area etc
Miracles do happen so it’s not impossible to have a sex life.
I’m basically asexual because for whatever reason I have sexual dysfunction. It sucks and carves a hole in my life where there was once substance.
I’m hoping I can quit cigarettes and that can help functioning. Unfortunately I am very impulsive and that leads me to smoking anyway. I bought a pack today which disappoints me. I’m going to just give the rest to my brother shortly and try as hard as I can to go without any cigarettes this weekend. I blame a bit of it in the stress of the first week back at school
If I have sleep apnea and get that treated it could potentially help. Ether way, I am thinking about looking for an asexual gal myself.
There has been a couple of times where that has been a possibility recently, and I was kind of thinking, “Ah, sex. No thanks.” I think it has more to do with my inner conflicts than anything. (It’s not because I am gay.) Maybe, if I can find someone I can trust, I might get back into it.
Well, I’m broke and fat and I don’t want to go even more broke.