I’m very close to my brother and his wife, they once said I’m thought of like their kid (10-13 year age gap).
My sister (in law) said she prefers to hear from me every couple of days at least. But she hasn’t responded to my text asking for a return call to do a chat for almost a week. And a couple hours ago I sent her a text asking if I offended her and stuff.
Yesterday my brother talked about how weird our family is and said that for his other siblings he rather not see them that often. Basically all family he said he doesn’t really want to see, he didn’t group me into that. But based on how I’m being ignored was he talking in a sort of hinting / coded way to sort of say “goodbye”???
I held both their opinions above everyone else and now I’m really confused what I did wrong. I figured along time ago no one could ever like me, everyone always hates me except my teachers and nurses, but even they probably hate me.
Is everyone just toying with me and now these two have had enough and are leaving me?? I think I’d have to give up on the business I started and go o the psych ward or just take the 30 caps of Tylenol 3s I have left with a couple weeks of benzodiazepines.
■■■■ man, I can’t handle this ■■■■, I was doing so ■■■■■■■ good…
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Don’t do anything foolish. They are probably just busy. You seem like a really nice person I wouldn’t wanna see you to harm yourself.
I’ve had many a time Feeling the way you do , but it does get better.
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Thanks for saying that. No I’m sorry I said that about the pills. I won’t I’m just thinking about it.
I’m just quietly freaking out bc I’m on the max dose of ability Mantenna for four or five months now. I just feel really weird, it’s been ramping up for the past month, idk
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Definitly Don’t do above. It’s not worth it.
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How soon can you get to see a P’doc / PNurse ?
If not within a few days I recommend going to Emergency Room for help from it .
But my business, I sunk like 2.5 grand into it and didn’t even break even this month. The emerg will put me in the psych ward and take me off the low dose of amphetamines I’m on, without those I’m a damn zombie. I ■■■■■■■ hate this illness
Plus the business will get me out of my $10000 of debt within four months, I’m totally ■■■■■■ without it
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I’m on Abilify Mantenna as well, but if it not doing what it should be you need possibly a booster med / a different med… I understand about your buisness, but there are way to get out patient help with this issues Call your P’doc explain it slowly to him / her. I’m sure they can help you as out patient.
What type of business do you have ?
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Nothing sophisticated, just Lawn and garden care for the season. It’s mostly just pushing a lawn mower all day. Sometimes I get to do something more interesting like hedge trimming…
Anyway, I know it sounds simple but I take it very seriously and it’s stressful as hell (I know a normal person could do it without it feeling this bad, I’m just high strung I guess)
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I understand Landscaping is top demand at moment . Everyone wanting their lawn and hedges tidied up.
You have to be in fit shape not just physically but mentally as well for it. Other wise your never get your goals accomplished. Can you at least call your On Call for P’doc office to see if they can help you fix the irritation that the abilify is causing you ?
I just hope I am helping you by being a sounding board for the moment , and I hope it helps you.
I don’t know if it’s a Canada thing, but I have no way of contacting my pdoc. My psych nurse would answer a text, but I can’t, they willll take away the amps which means I’m back to being in bed all day
I do appreciate you having this back and forth with me. I know I’m frustrating to deal with right now I imagine
Not sure how canada works I in usa, they are seemingly different. Can you get to a different p’doc / p’nurse to help you and not loose your amps ?
It doesn’t sound simple to me. My father owned a “Lawn & Landscape” business, and while he struggled to get it off the ground at first, it developed into a successful business that fully supported him. He was able to make his own hours and be his own boss, and he loved it. It’s your baby- it matters.
With sz, we tend to feel like no one likes/ wants us. I don’t know why we feel this way, but we do. I think the vast majority of us have experienced this. I know I have and still do. Even after 16 years of marriage, I worry that my husband doesn’t want me. If I am not doing well and stay in my room for a few days, and my kids don’t come up to see how I’m doing, I’m convinced that they are happy without me and that I’m not wanted. It makes me feel worthless. When my husband forgot Mother’s Day this year, I was certain it was because I am a bad mom and did something wrong- that they didn’t love me and want me.
Chances are, they aren’t avoiding you or trying to give you signs that they don’t want you around. They may genuinely be preoccupied. I wouldn’t worry over it just yet.
They make notes on a national (maybe provincial) website on my file, I know my psych nurse checks it weekly and reports it to the pdoc.
I just remembered I have some olanzapine at a pharmacy. But I look stupid, red eyes and crap, and olanzapine never did much for me in the past.
Idk, maybe I’ll be calm tomorrow. I’m sorry for not being compliant to suggestions.
Thanks for the response. I’m sorry to hear you feel that way too at times, but, and I don’t mean this the wrong way, it kind of helps knowing that others feel this too.
No worries- it always makes me feel better to know I’m not alone in a bad situation too. I hope that they respond soon. 
Congratulations on opening your own business.
That’s absolutely great to manage to do so and I hope you will do well and be successful.
I was only in contact with a two or three relatives for some time and I seemed to dump and vent a lot on to them which can perhaps feel overwhelming for them to get these long blabbering mails from me.
The woman that raised me as her daughter and my mum in Sweden who I’m so proud of and adore .
I love them both but sometimes I would write really long emails to them venting all my sh%#.
I did not get a reply for weeks or months even sometimes.
Maybe it was my symptoms I was blabbering and it might of been too much for them to get such email.
It might of been draining or something.
I now know they love 
me but so was not always the case.
They have their own lives to lead too.
They have dishes perhaps to think of aswell as work maybe etc etc
Do not take it personally perhaps because they might have a lot on their own plates but that does not mean they don’t love you.
Maybe they want to give you more time but are so busy themselves maybe a care worker could help if you need daily someone to ball things with …
My mum in Sweden raised me too.
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