In the old days I don’t have any problem attending to family dinner. I used to be the person everybody talks to. I release tension between family members. I feel I have a role I take care of everybody.
I worry over family gathering these days. I feel quite uncomfortable tonight, again. It stirs up emotions, i feel being unwanted and worry I would be desserted. Since, again, nobody is talking to me (except my mom), and if my siblings or in-law refer to me, they only use third person (no eye contact, not talking to me), I feel quite strange. I try to talk to everybody. I think I should. Silence is the only response. Only one of my nephew is willing to talk to me. This is consistent. Everytime there is only some conversation between the two of us. Idk why it looks like my siblings have decided to use ignoring on me forever. It is so uncomfortable. I remember there is a time I felt very uncomfortable I cried. All of them left immediately. They said they are busy.
My friend suggested me to avoid seeing them and don’t show up in family dinner again. I’m afraid it would only make things worse.