In the old days I don’t have any problem attending to family dinner. I used to be the person everybody talks to. I release tension between family members. I feel I have a role I take care of everybody.
I worry over family gathering these days. I feel quite uncomfortable tonight, again. It stirs up emotions, i feel being unwanted and worry I would be desserted. Since, again, nobody is talking to me (except my mom), and if my siblings or in-law refer to me, they only use third person (no eye contact, not talking to me), I feel quite strange. I try to talk to everybody. I think I should. Silence is the only response. Only one of my nephew is willing to talk to me. This is consistent. Everytime there is only some conversation between the two of us. Idk why it looks like my siblings have decided to use ignoring on me forever. It is so uncomfortable. I remember there is a time I felt very uncomfortable I cried. All of them left immediately. They said they are busy.
My friend suggested me to avoid seeing them and don’t show up in family dinner again. I’m afraid it would only make things worse.
Every time I’m invited to my brother’s I really want to go, until I get there, then I just want to leave. I guess it’s the house full of people, not sure. I love them but I just can’t handle it all well.
goggles, it sounds to me like your family is paralyzed by the knowledge of your sz. They think they have to be different toward you than to normies. Maybe you could tell them something like “I’m always happy when someone talks to me like they would anyone else.”
This is a hard situation. I understand you not wanting to show up because it’s painful. But it’s them being rude not you. So not showing up doesn’t help them see you are still who you are.
I’d say keep talking to your nephew and enjoy that friendship. I know it’s hard. But again, it’s them being rude. Not you. It doesn’t make it any easier. But hopefully over time you can find a way to point out that you are still their family.
I feel that they want to keep a distant from me. For the past few times we met, the only thing they tried to communicate with me is “sit further away from us, would you?”
I try to talk to them but they look so uncomfortable.
If you’ll just try what I suggested word for word. You’ve got nothing to lose.
avoidant personality disorder."i want to have close relationships but i can’t"isolation,hyper sensitivity,fear of negative evaulation. i have sz,same thing for me.just thought i’d post the APD meaning.whatever.
My family doesnt treat me like crap. They know that I have schizophrenia, but they also know that I am recovered with medication and I am doing perfectly well in school and my main hobby is ■■■■■■■ powerlifting. They cant call me stupid, half-ass, lazy, no, I make all A’s, squat twice my weight and deadlift nearly three times my weight, I have friends who I see nearly every single day and I dont abuse drugs or alcohol.
I am one of those completely recovered people, so I demand people to acknowledge that I exist. I am not a stereotypical mentally ill person, I have a good life AND schizophrenia. I went through hell to become who I am today. At family gatherings, which happen about once a month, everyone acknowledges that I exist and they treat me with love and respect. They are educated and moral Catholic people, they have respect for someone who has been to hell.
They are glad to hear that I am happy and healthy. They know that I am happy when I have school going well, I tend to get a little idle and unhappy if I am not productive. I even posted on here about feeling apathy and anger at myself when I had a month off of school and nothing to do except remember my past. Now I wake up with the entire day planned full of healthy things to do, I do well to keep from getting so bored that I ruminate…and I have plenty to ruminate on.
hi googles this is very unfair of them if it upsets you dont go for a while their loss. im sorry you have been treated this way.
My siblings don’t talk to me anymore. I mean that exactly. They just maintain a distant to me. I never use drugs or alcohol. I’m not a lazy guy. I have never been paranoid or delusional. I don’t cause them trouble. I know the only thing I can do to make my life better is to work full time again. But I don’t think it could work out.
Do they think they can catch sz if they are too close. Sounds to me they need education.
Maybe they think they might be asked to be responsible for you in some way in the future and don’t want to .I might not be right about that. I’m lucky. My brothers aren’t responsible for me financially or directly but they help me out - partly by having the same relationship with me they always have. It’s good that you have the relationship with your nephew. He must see farther than the rest of them. You might try what Chordy said - if you’re comfortable with that.
I am a kind guy. My sibling agrees to that. But she suddenly seems to consider me a potential threat to their safety - Idk, they don’t want me to be around. They appear do not consider me having the ability to understand anything any longer.
I think it would be difficult to get them any education on sz.
I don’t know a solution.Your family sounds like they are just plain mean.
My siblings are not kind guys. They know it and they are happy with it. They think that unkind people live a better live. Idk what to say, I’m kind but I’m the one who collapse in this world.
I"m sorry Goggles, If they know they are unkind and they are really happy being that way then they would find a way to not value you if you had this disease or not. Even if you weren’t ill and you were kind they would still think that is wrong.
I’m sorry to say it, but you might just have to give up trying on this and focus on taking care of yourself so they don’t upset you to the point of hurting your progress. It’s a very hard thing to do, and it’s so very painful to be treated this way from your own family. But you can’t let them harm the all the hard work you’ve done.
I have an aunt who is a total bitch. I’ve cut her and her family completely out of my life. Some people are just assholes. It sucks when they’re in your family, but it happens.
My sister is kind of like that too, we had a falling out. Over time I’ve tried to disconnect any feeling I have for her. Eventually it’ll work and she’ll be gone too.
If you try to surround yourself with positive people to replace the negative, it’ll be easier to deal with their behavior. I’d cut them out of my life, but that’s me.
My brother is moody - the other day he calls me and is in a great mood, called me bro, the very next minute he is lashing out at me. He is struggling with a high stress lifestyle and is a cut throat kind of guy. Mood instability is common throughout our family tree and he does have depression. I try not to make him the center of my universe. Right now hes background music
That is an awesome way to put that. Thank you for that.
I have my brother Jacob who I have to slice out for me. Jacob is falling apart, we can all see it. But he’s trying to be nice to the kid sis. She doesn’t trust it, but she’s trying to be open to help him.
My youngest brother John is being the best little brother ever to me and literally trying to destroy my kid sis. She’s battling anorexia for real. She’s finally coming to terms with this and getting real. This time in the hospital opened her eyes. Finally.
I hung out at the lifeguard staff meeting and John used every opportunity to tear her down, tell her what she did wrong and then he started saying that her rescues were sloppy because she was putting on so much weight. She’s almost 20 pounds underweight and he has started calling her a Sea Cow… in front of the entire lifeguard team.
But he is the most super sweet little brother to me… That puts me right in the middle. I really hate this.
Yes it seems you are in a rough situation. I would try to talk to your brother or communicate to him somehow, maybe through email or text. Let him know how you feel about his behavior clearly and directly. I would be firm with him without stirring the pot too much. Also J this is off topic, how do you quote someone on this site. For example
it says - Wave said then the quote -