A Personal Journey into The Unknown (Schizoaffective Disorder)

ATARI · October 21, 2020, 11:21pm

~(Scanner Day 9 (Part 3)~

So. If You Dear Reader, Forum Participant, Moderator, Stranger, Family Member, or Lost Soul.

Have Been Following Thus Strange Personal Story. Remember Thus!, it May Take Some Time. Some Thought. Some, Thus Too Shall Pass of Fear. Some Strength. Some Courage. And!, Some Mistakes. But!, Give up on Self Defeat. Keep at it. Keep Your Focus. Keep The Blue Sky And Beautiful Night in Mind. Gravity. All The Way Beyond The Moon.

There is Much to Be Learned About Ourselves And The Universe That Holds us Together.

I Feel Excited Every Single Day I Wake up. That Something Amazing is Going to Happen. And Sometimes, The Sunset’s Show Me, How Gracious And Kind The Universe Can Be.

So. No Matter How Terrible Your Days Can Feel. Remember to Try And Remind Yourself, That There is Always Light at The End of The Tunnel. It May Take One Minute. It May Take a Week. It May Even Take a Year. But!, if You Hold Tight to The Bond You Felt Growing up And Being Surprised at Some Sort of Strange Miracle.

Well…, Your Work Has Jus Begun.

So. With That Said. I Would Like to Continue Sharing a Bit of My Personal Current Battle.

About a Week Ago I Bought a Bottle of Evian Water. It Holds 1L of Water. (33.8 FL OZ).

I Have Decided to Drink Out of That Bottle With Tap Water. For it’s a Slight Bit Expensive to Purchase.

So. The Plan is Fill up The Empty Thirsty Belly With Evian Tap. And Drink Small Amounts of Perrier. In Order to Make The Calcium From The Perrier Last a Bit Longer.

Now I Noticed Since I Have Been Subtracting Caffeine, It is Slightly Troublesome to Play My Acoustic Guitar. Withdrawals an All.

So. If That isn’t a Sign, I Don’t Know What Could Be.

Keeps it Cools, BRAVE EXPLORER’s!.

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)

ATARI · October 22, 2020, 3:04am

ATARI · October 22, 2020, 6:26pm

~(Scanner Day 10)~

Good Morning, Noon, Afternoon, Evening, And or Night Dear Strangers of The Strange Internet!.

So. I Was Awoken (By) The Woman in Charge of My Case (From The Clinic). She Called to Do Her Monthly Checkup.

We Had a Polite Conversation. She Asked About How I Was Sleeping. She Was Proud That I Got My Flu Shot & Blood Drawn. All in The Same Day And Such. And I Told Her I’m Working on Erasing Caffeine. Once Again, She Seemed Pleased. (Which Honestly Felt Nice).

N e Hoo.

I Jus Got Back From The Mile Away Shop. Had to Hurry For The Woman Who is in Charge of My Living Space. Thus Time, The Walk Kinda Wore Me Out. Had to Really Push.

I Usually Walk Slowly, to Capture The Beautifully Kind Nature Along The Way. Turtles, Butterfly’s, Dragonfly’s, And Bird’s. Some Small Sort of Moths in The Tall Grass Within The Edges of Yards. Always Captures My Heart. And I Tend to Enjoy The Vast Open Space of The Sky as I Jus Walk With No Intentions on How Fast or How Slow I’m Walking.

N e Hoo (Part 2)

I Picked up Three Perrier’s And That’s All. Oh!, And a Pack of Smokes. The Cutting Down May Be Able to Be Completed, if My Withdrawals From Lack of Caffeine Begins to Subside.

We Shall See!.

Good Day Everyone!.

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)

ATARI · October 22, 2020, 8:23pm

~(Scanner Day 10 (Part 2)~

Thus is My Current Plan of Thirst Intake.

Tap Water: 1L (33.8 FL OZ)

(And After I Liter)…,

Three Sips of Perrier (Stop Drinking After I Feel The Inside of The Belly Being Coated).

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)

ATARI · October 22, 2020, 8:33pm

<<(((~(((~(((Scanner Quotes From Celebrities)))~)))~)))>>

You May Recognize One of Your Favorites!.

Good Luck!.

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)

ATARI · October 22, 2020, 9:37pm

ATARI · October 23, 2020, 12:33am

My Bloody Valentine~ ‘Loveless’.

(((~@~@~@~Beyond The Sphere~@~@~@~)))

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)

ATARI · October 23, 2020, 5:02pm

~(Scanner Day 11)~

Phew!, Today Has Been a Little Rough. My Body is Begging For Caffeine. Slightly Weary. A Little Shaky Down in The Marrow of My Bones. And Quite The Dry Circuit System Angry at Me For Going So Long Depending on Drinks.

N e Hoo.

With All That to The Side. I Am Expecting My Doctor From The Clinic to Give Me a Call Later Today. (Not The New Annual Checkup Doctor). But!, a Doctor I’ve Had For a Many Long Years.

Usually She Asks The Same Questions. And I Give The Same Answers. Today Though I Plan on Asking Her if There is a Safe Amount of Caffeine Intake For a Day.

I Discovered a Drink I Never Seen Before With a Small Amount of Spark Called AHA!.

So. Hopefully, I Will Be Given The Green Light. If Not!, I Shall Keep Fighting The Good Fight.

Wish Me Luck Compadre’s!.

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)

ATARI · October 23, 2020, 8:08pm

~(Scanner Day 11 (Part 2)~

So. My Doctor Called. And I Actually Picked up The Phone. Which is Kinda a Miracle Since, if You Would Have Asked Me 6 Years Ago. Or 5. Or 4. Or 3. Or 2. Or Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah. I Would’ve Told You My Phone Was Dead. Or She Never Called.

N e Hoo.

Long Long Long Ago.

That Was Me.

Instead I Asked Her Questions About My Current Physical Dilemma. And She Pretty Much Told Me, That it Was Okay to Drink One Soda, (For Example), One Soda in The Morning, For a Quick Pickup.

And I Will Meet Her Halfway With The AHA!, Drinks. Jus ONE After I Wake up.

That May Ease The Slight Discomfort of My Night Med’s. And ALSO, My Body Begging For What Has Been Steady For a Very Long Time.

N e Hoo (Part 2)

I Feel Like I’m Rambling. It Was a Good Chat With My Doctor. She Always Asks About My Voices. And if I Am Seeing Anything. And I Respond Honestly.

I Have Good Friendly Voices. (Which Never Really Shut Off). But!, They Never Get Weird With Me. So. All is Well. I Like Music And Writing Music, And They Seem to Give Me Space, When I Focus on That. And When I Am Around People.

So…, 10/10 (!!!).

And She Asked if I Was Seeing Things. I Do, But Not Like The Past. And Usually it’s a Shadow Out of The Corner of My Eye. Like Invisible Creepy Crawlies.

And That Was About it.

So. The Day Has Been Good So Far. And Not in The Mood to Look For Troubles.

Keep Safe Everyone.

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)

ATARI · October 24, 2020, 1:02am

~(Scanner Day 11 (Part 3)~

So. I Got Some Prescriptions Filled. I Feel Like I’ve Been Waiting For Years to Pick up Some AHA Drinks. Was Able to Purchase Four of Them. And as I Got Back to The House, I Looked Over The Molecules Inside of The Can. Eagerly Waiting to Be Devoured. And Discovered, (As Daft Punk Would Say), Discovered, it’s Jus Carbonated, Flavored Water.

No Caffeine.

I Dunno How I Got Under The Wrong Impression.

So. I Guess, Drink as Much as One Can Afford Apparently. No Harm, No Foul. As Hall of Fame Baseball Athletes Would Say. And Maybe Even a Police Officer or Two.

So. I Have The Rest of The Evening to Test a Few New Drinks Out. And Go on From There.

Advice:::~ Listen to Your Body. It Does Speak. And if You Are Trying Out Something New. Don’t Test Fate. Or Go Too Far. Commonsense Knows Where The Limit is. Overall Feelings From The Top to Bottom. And All The Way Deep Inside.

I Have Three Left. And Will Slowly Consume & Analyse. As I Enjoy Nature For a Bit.

Hope Everyone is Feeling Good, Pretty Good, Okay, And or Hopeful!.

Keeps it Cools Everyone!.

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)

ATARI · October 24, 2020, 2:04am

~(Scanner Day 11 (Part 4)~

Does The Moon Decay?.

As the Earth and Moon near this blistering hot region, the drag caused by the Sun’s extended atmosphere will cause the Moon’s orbit to decay . The Moon will swing ever closer to Earth until it reaches a point 11,470 miles (18,470 kilometers) above our planet, a point termed the Roche limit. (From Google)

Some Thrive. Some Cry. Some Laugh. Some Remain Silent.

But!, Sometimes it Seems, That Everyone, is Anxious to Be Sedated.

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)

ATARI · October 24, 2020, 5:09pm

~(Scanner Day 12)~

So. Good Morning, Noon, Afternoon, Evening, And or Night.

Dear, Forumers, Moderators, Strangers, Kid’s, Young Adults, Women, Men, And Aliens!.

I Have Returned From Another Walk to The Mile Shop. Once Again, Three Perrier’s.

My Personal Carbonated Lift For My Personal Morning. Why Personal?.

Well. Because…,

It’s Personal.

That is, Until I Etch it Out Here, On Thus Forum. Then…, Well…, It Belongs to The Universe.

I Personally Wonder…, Can Aliens Read What We Type on The Internet?.

Or is There a Limit to How Far The Frequency Vibrations of The Internet Can Reach?.

I Never Knew Much About The Technicalities of Computers Anyways.

Strange Thought I Admit.

Are You Guys Enjoying The Songs And Videos I am Sharing?.

N e Hoo.

Keeps it Cools Everyone.

I Shall Return to Share Some More Nonsense Soon Enough.

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)

ATARI · October 24, 2020, 7:28pm

ATARI · October 24, 2020, 11:11pm

ATARI · October 25, 2020, 1:12am

~(Scanner Day 12 (Part 2)~

Isn’t it Strange, That When it Comes to Consuming Liquid. There Are No Questions, or Guilt, or Worry, About Water.

I Mean You Don’t Want to Drink too Much at One Time. Headaches, And Even More Serious Health Problems Can Be Found on Google.

But!, The Question Remains. WHY is Water so Boring?. Although After Some Strenous Exercise, or After a Long Day Without Quenching Your Thirst. Water Seems Pretty Appealing.

And Also!, I Love The Rain. I Still Don’t Know How That Works to Be Honest.

Isn’t There a Few Pretty Great Songs About The Rain?.

Hmm.

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)

ATARI · October 25, 2020, 4:46pm

~(Scanner Day 13)~

It’s Sunday The 13th. Happy Hallow’s Eve!.

So. After I Woke up. I Took My Med’s. Quickly Drank a Liter of Water. And Began to Sing Song’s I Love Off of YouTube.

After About 5-ish Song’s. I Was Asked to Quiet it Down. So. I Shut it All Down And Began to Think of a Girl I Miss And Still Love. Although She isn’t Far. I Might Go Outside With My Tablet And Sing Along to Some Strokes Song’s, Out in The Open Vast Wild World For a While.

I Was Never Asked to Stop Singing in Almost a Year Since I’ve Been Here. Slightly Troublesome. I Wonder What That’s All About.

By The Way, Thanx @zeno For All of The Likes You Have Given in Thus Thread. I Wonder, is There a Reason Why You Say Very Little Here?.

Either or, Keeps it Cools Everyone!.

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Beat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)

zeno · October 25, 2020, 7:53pm

I just enjoy reading your journey.

ATARI · October 25, 2020, 8:01pm

~(Scanner Day 13 (Part 2)~

Hello Once Again Everyone.

So.

Today I Did Not Take My (Now Usual), Walk. Kinda Feel Like My Body Has Enough of Strange Liquid. Mostly Carbonated Mineral Water, (With Calcium), And, I Learned Last Night, Carbon Dioxide.

What is Carbon Dioxide?.

CO2 is not poisonous ; as a gas, CO2 itself will not hurt you. This is an important fact to remember, as carbon dioxide is a vital part of the environment. The human breathing mechanism actual revolves around CO2 , not oxygen. Without carbon dioxide , humans wouldn’t be able to breathe.’ (From Google).

So. There’s That.

Now Talking About The Walk, I Have Been Greeted By Several Different Individuals. And All of Them Were Asking if I Had Any Marijuana. I Kindly Said No. And They Wandered Off.

Now to Be Honest I Have No Problem Whatsoever With People Who Choose to Exercise Their Right to Consume Different Chemicals. I Grew up Believing, That What One Does to Themselves is What They Should Be Able to Do. With The Truth That They Don’t Plan to Go too Far. Or Hurt Their Bodies in Any Serious Way.

But The Law Disagrees. If it isn’t Legal, And You Choose to Smoke Marijuana (For Example), You May Have to Pay The Price if You Get Caught. It May Be Slightly Annoying, or Seriously Damaging.

So. There is Always a Risk. Jus Remember That. And There’s Alot of People Unlike Me, Who Would Alert The Authorities if You Dare to Ask a Stranger. Keep That in Mind.

But!, With That to The Side, The Walks Have Become Something I Enjoy, And Look Forward to Having.

Strange That it’s Almost Like Waking up to a Reality, Me Beyond Jus Staying inside And Playing Music to Myself. Now Don’t Get it Twisted, I am in No Real Way Prepared to Jump into The Swimming Pool of Society Yet.

And There is a Pink Floyd Song That Expresses Thus Sphere of Existence.

DID YOU EXCHANGE… A WALK ON PART IN THE WAR…, FOR A LEAD ROLE IN A CAGE

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Beat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)

ATARI · October 25, 2020, 8:09pm

Hmm.

Thanx @zeno!.

For The Quick Lift!.

Here’s a Gift, You May Enjoy For Your Well Wishes.

Search YouTube, For [[[ RADIOHEAD~ ‘LIFT’. (Live at Pinkpop) ]]] Grab a Cup of Coffee, And Enjoy!.

Keeps it Cools!.

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Beat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)

ATARI · October 25, 2020, 8:21pm