Schizophrenia.com

A Personal Journey into The Unknown (Schizoaffective Disorder)

~(Scanner Day 5 (Number Correction)~


(Part 2)

  • The Scanner Post Right Before @zeno’s Good Question. Is Not Day 4. It is 5.


Thus Post is About My Thought’s on The Idea of Justification on Those Who Wrong You in Any Way. Be it Symbolic. Or Psychological/Physical.


If You Lower Your Mental Standards to Discover Reason’s Why Someone Would Want to Hurt You. You Are Only Digging a Hole That You May Not Be Able to Climb Out of.


My Advice is to Be Like The Wind. A Breeze. Drifting Away From Meaningless Memories.


Keep Searching. Keep Being. And Keep Your Humble Needs.


Silently Grow Your Faith. Your Seeds. Into a Place Where There Are Only Dreams.


There Will Always Be a Stance Wishing to Steal Your Inner Breathing.


Fear Exist’s. And After You Break it’s Barrier. You May Discover More important Reasons…,


To See Yourself And Believe. To Jus Be!.


As The Strokes Say, ‘HAPPY AND FREE’!.




Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)
:owl: :alien: :owl:

1 Like

~(Scanner Day 6)~


Another Day, Another Walk. And Sad News to All Those Keeping up With Me.


  • I Bought Two Energy Drinks
  • Sat on a Nearby Bench
  • And Drank The Drinks

Felt The Slight Awakening “buzz” From The Large Dose of Caffeine. And Now I’m Learning.


What I Learned is, I Don’t Actually Need Those Drinks.


Not Too Mention, Too Expensive For Hurting Your Body.


Hallow’s Eve, Body Tricks And Treats!.


I Learned in My Distant Past, I Always Would Say No to My Clinic. So. I Don’t Plan on Failing Again. (I’m Actually upset With Myself For Failing My New Doctor). She Was Super Nice, And Didn’t Come at Me All Forced With, (What Seems Like Negative Intentions).


As Alanis Morissette Says, ‘You Live, You Learn’.


Be Back Soon Everybody, Wish Me Luck!.




Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)
:owl: :alien: :owl:

1 Like

I hope you will be able to avoid energy drinks next time.

Yeah try to avoid the energy drinks @sleepoptimistic.
Kudos to you for trying to improve your health

Thank You @Wave. On The Subject of Stepping Away From a Slight Chemical Crutch. More so to Kill Boredom. For as it Stands, And Where I’m at Psychologically, I Feel Like I Cannot Record Music The Way I’d Like.

But!, I’m Learning Most of That, is Fear of Rejection From Endless Past Isolation.

Which May Not Make Much Sense. A Few Years Ago, I Could Record Music Endlessly.

Now I Feel I am Unable to Sit And Record. But!, No One Has Ever Said a Word About Me Affecting The Environment Negatively. (Within The Aspects of Music).

So Most of That is Self Defeat For No Tangible Reason.

Thanks Paranoia. (Sarcasm of Course).

On The Subject to Energy Drinks. I’m Feeling The Effects of The Large Dose of Caffeine. And if I Can’t Listen to What My Body is Saying. I Can Only Blame Myself For Medical Health Issues in The Future.

So.

Maybe I Should Jus End That Chemical Relationship Completely. Once And For All.

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)
:owl: :alien: :owl:

2 Likes

~(Scanner Day 7)~


So. I Decided, Today is Going to Be a Day of Rest. An Outsider Would Laugh And Say Something Along The Lines of, “you don’t do anything ever”.


Well Sorry to Disappoint, But You, Dear Outsider, Wouldn’t Be Able to Handle 10 Minutes in My Personal Sphere of Existence.


I’ve Had to Repeat a Few Biblical Lines to Myself Daily. Repeat Political Quotes as I Wander. And…, (What I Truly Love)—>>> The Music Always Playing.


Yesterday I Came up With an Almost Song. I’m Still Working on it’s Entire Structure. But!, it’s Exciting to Feel Fully Creative Once Again.


I Haven’t Had Any Tea, AND NO CAFFEINE!. Some Water Though!.


N e Hoo. I’m Wandering. Not Bored And Listening to Some Pretty Splendid Music on an ‘INDIE’ Station. Didn’t Realize I Liked That Genre So Much. I Always Knew About it, (That Genre), But After Some Decent Time Alone, Listening Intently. A New Favorite of Mine.


Hope Everyone is Feeling Chipper!. Keeps it Cools!.




Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)
:owl: :alien: :owl:

Ps. ‘Nothing is Permanent in This Wicked World, Not Even Our Troubles’~ Charlie Chaplin

2 Likes

(Side Note)~(Scanner Day 7)~(Note Side)


Here is Something My Last Therapist Said to Me. As I Was Going Through Some Troubles That Was Completely Out of My Hands.


+++~+++ When You Can’t Control What’s Happening, Challenge Yourself to Control How You Respond to What’s Happening. That’s Where Your Power is. +++~+++




Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)
:owl: :alien: :owl:

1 Like

What is so hard in your existence?

Hmm.

Good Question. Gimme a Moment to Consider The Reasons I Said What I Said.

Okay. I Have Looked into My Current, And Long Past.

But!, Before I Answer The Question at Hand.

Why Do You Ask?.

I Politely Ask.

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)
:owl: :alien: :owl:

1 Like

I was just curious of why another people couldn’t handle it.

I See Where Your Reasoning With Curiosity is Coming From.

But!, it’s Slightly Alarm Bells.

Now, I Feel as if I Conquered The Pursuit of Paranoia For a While Now.

With Much Help From The Fields of Government, Doctors, Nurses, Therapists And Even Police Officer’s.

All Your Question Does, is Belittle My Sense of Hope For a Brighter Tomorrow.

And to Be Honest, I’m Not Looking For a Fight.

But!, Truth of The Matter is Thus…, We as Individuals All Face Tough Changes That We Have No Control Over. And Complaining Does No Good.

One Has to Actually Rise to The Occasion And Defeat What is Hurting us.

It Seems Your Question is a Bit Judgemental And Seeking a Darkness I Already Climbed Out of.

Thanx But No Thanx!.

No Offense.

Keeps it Cools!.

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)
:owl: :alien: :owl:

1 Like

Don’t Give up And Set The Bar Higher Than Before

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)

:owl: :alien: :owl:

1 Like

~(Scanner Day 8)~


That Song (By) Teddy Thompson, May Be My Favorite Song Right Now. And There is No Doubt, I Have Definitely Much Stored in My Endlessly Endless Mental Music Library.


N e Hoo.

I Made Another Safe Trip to The Shop. And My Body Did Pretty Good. At First, (After Yesterday’s Rest), My Legs Were Slightly Sore. But!, (By) The Time I Made it to My Destination, My Body Was Ready to Continue. But!, I Sat Down After Purchasing Some Caffeine Free Drinks. And Enjoyed The Public’s Okay, With Me Being Within a Slight Distant Vicinity.


Pretty Good Feeling I Have to Admit. (Light at The End of The Tunnel?).


Maybe…, Jus Maybe.


Keeps it Cools Everyone!.


Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)
:owl: :alien: :owl:

1 Like

~(Scanner Day 8 (Part 2)~


I Have Been Trying to Find Some More Stepping Stones to Continue Resetting My Psychological Feed From The Liars in My Past.


It is a Slight Difficult New Routine I Plan on Giving Myself Daily. In Order to Accept What The Fates Set Before Me. Maybe (As My Doctor Would Say), A Psychological Sense of Yoga.


I Hate to Say Some Sense of Prayer For My Internal Self. Since Thus Forum Hardly Accepts Any Honest Religious Chat. So. I Will Continue to Keep You Gals And Guys Updated on a New Form of Psychological Yoga. Where Say, (For Example), Nature Fills in The Restless Blanks Within Our Physical Sphere’s. Depending Whether or Not We’re Listening, And Keeping Our Eyes Peeled For The Sky to The Ground. And All of What Can Be Felt Spiritually, or Scientifically Playing it’s Significant/Essential Part Here on Our Planet Earth.


I Learned Food is a Living Requirement. As Much as I’d Like to Live on Liquid. Solid’s Are Necessary. In Order to Survive And Live Gracefully. As Much as I Loathe Eating Meat And Wish Fruits And Vegetables Would Be What Everyone on Thus Planet Craves. But!,


It’s Really None of My Business. So. Well, There’s Always That.


Keeps it Cools Dreamers!.




Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)
:owl: :alien: :owl:

1 Like

~(Scanner Day 8 (Part 3)~


So. As I Drink My Clean Water. From The Endless Tap of Trust. I Have Decided Something For The Walk Tomorrow.


That’s if My Body Can Wake Me up Before it Get’s Too Late.


Instead of Drinking Everything I Buy as Soon as I Return From The Trip. Wait, an Hour Before My Curfew. And Drink to Keep My Body Occupied For The Rest of The Evening?.


As of Right Now, I Think I Could Step Away From All of Strange Drinks?.


Not That, Saying, These Alternative Are Hurting Me in Any Way. But!, My Body is Quick to Adjust Any Abnormal Internal Environment. SoO0…, Slowly Take The Additives Away?.


Although Most of My Mind Rests on V8 Drink. Not to Mention I Have Been Curious About That [[[Sodastream]]] Product For Awhile Now.


N e Hoo.

Jus a Thought, I’ll See How it Plays Out Tomorrow.


Keeps it Cools Everyone!.




Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)
:owl: :alien: :owl:

1 Like

~(Scanner Day 8 (Part 4)~


Something I Have Learned Today. (See if You Could Try it Out). Give Yourself Some Healthy Rest.


Rest From The Usual. Rest From The Losing Grip. New Focus. Awaken The Circuits of New Energy.


Hello, (From Google).

  • Sitting behind your desk all day is bad for your health and experts have long been advising people to stand at their workstations for about 15 minutes an hour. But a University of Waterloo professor says his research shows that people should be standing for at least 30 minutes per hour to get health benefits.



Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)
:owl: :alien: :owl:

~(Scanner Day 9)~


Today is Going to Be Another Day of Rest. My Night Med’s Got Me Worn Down Tremendously. As Usual to Be Honest. But!, Mixed With These Daily Walks My Body is Asking For a Break.


So. Your Wish is My Command Body of Mine.


I Have Discovered a New Great Drink Though. It Does Carry Caffeine, But!, a Very Small, Small Amount, Compared to My Daily Intake For a Very Long Time.


So. My Doctor is Going to Have to Compromise With My Honestly Positive Intentions.


The Comparison is Thus:::~ 300mg to 34mg.


So. It’s Quite The Drop. Plus She Didn’t Ask Me to Subtract Caffeine Entirely (If I Remember Correctly). She Jus Wanted Me to Take in Much Less.


So. I Shall Follow Her Wish.


N e Hoo…,

I Feel Like I’m Wandering. Today is a Day of Standing For Some Good Amount of Time, as I Sing-Along to Songs I Love. (Some New, And Many Older’s).

Wish Me Luck!.




Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)
:owl: :alien: :owl:

1 Like

Wonder Wander Look And Speak And Be And Internally Clean

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)

:owl: :alien: :owl:

~(Scanner Day 9 (Part 2)~


So. I Decided to Purchase Carbonated Water instead of Any Caffeine at Thus Point.


Today, After Some Quick Outside Meditation. I Went on My Way to The Shop. So. I Gave up on The idea of Giving up.


Here is What I Purchased:::~ Perrier (Carbonated Mineral Water). With 70mg of Calcium.


I Am On My Second Bottle. Out of Three Total.


Kinda Fighting a Bit of Caffeine Withdrawal. And I Shall See Out it All Plays Out (By) The End of The Night.


Wish Me Luck!.




Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam Dream (sleepoptimistic)
:owl: :alien: :owl:

Ps, The Walk Wasn’t as Tough as I Thought it Would Be. (Most of The Self Defeat Came From My Night Med’s).

Gotta Fight it!. :slight_smile:

1 Like