Making the most of today

Today has been ok so far for me. I am blessed to have friends even if I dont have a ton.

sometimes I feel like my mind is words, just a streaming narrative of ideas, but then I tried to expand my awareness into sensations, feelings. Erase the paranoia. Dream forwards.

I have too be mindful/aware of my energy and where I spend it. Regardless of my schizoaffective illness I am doing a lot of work on myself alone. I dont think its unhealthy. Though they say isolation is never healthy for you. Maybe in small amounts, but not continued. Im not completely isolated.

I am lucky to be one of those people who is aware when they’re illness is changing or sings of a relapse hints of some emotional release…right now I feel sort of emotionally pent up/repressed. so I have to be mindful of those signs.

I also have to continue to take abilify and medication because I have both schizophrenia and bipolar and it makes sense to me how I have experienced life. At some times in life I have moodiness, depression, and high vigilence. Other times im shut down, mentally. It seems the only way to cure the paranoia aspect.

although the best cure for paranoia would also being aware that you are safe. the comfort of knowing people care and love u and are there to protect you when things go haywire.

My case worker asked me if I was a type of person who could continue medication and spot the warning signs of psychosis and mania. Its a complex decision to be made.

Do you believe people with schizophrenia, bipolar, and schizoaffective or even depression should be permanently isolated and kept under control with medications and therapies?

Like as in if we are a danger to society others or ourselves?

I dont know why I have to ask this. I just wanted to get the general consensus. I believe that if you have no criminal record but have schizophrenia you should not be allowed to purchase a gun. I know that could be controversial, I support 2nd and i support freedom.

Schizophrenia is such a rare disease anyways, it should not be an issue to keep dangerous criminals from purchasing weapons. But the whole perception that they are just addled homeless or lumping all addicts and homeless alongside schizophrenia is absolutely evil.

Why? Because schizophrenia does crossed race, gender, sexuality, nationality, education, faith, everything…its a rare disease. Its misunderstood but its being studied. So I think its better to for people with schizophrenia to be studied/like to have psychiatrists who are partial and biased to the individual circumstances and personality. I think that the only way there will ever be a cure is if we can co-exist.

My greatest fear is that people like me will one day be eliminated entirely from society and the world altogether…wiped off the planet/face of the earth. If only people could see just one speck of beauty in being different and divergence to the norms.

But people fear what they dont understand. If society understood schizophrenia fully, they wouldnt seek to erase us–they would seek to help us more and i hope this shift happens. But if people like me were erased then there will be less hope. Hope is the love that binds us all.

I’m completely open about my SZ with my employer. It has not stopped me from getting promotions and raises. I am treated as well as others without here at work.

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Im happy for you that its that way im sure its not easy.

I honestly have more trouble with discrimination from ageism than I do from having SZ.

I appreciate that everyone who is facing extreme adversity of any sort is inclined to believe that their particular problem is world ending and the worst thing that they would never wish upon anyone else. However, I think schizophrenia is second only to stomach cancer. I say this not because I feel that way, but because statistically SZ is the one of 2 illnesses (SZ, depression) where taking your own life is a better option than enduring ongoing suffering. It is not lost on me that people will chose to undergo horrendous treatments and their side effects, just to see another few months. But in SZ, jumping off a building is better than being continually treated with sadistic violent hatred and persicutory contempt.

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Not for me. I’m having more trouble with my heart and my diabetes than my SZ these days. SZ is a minor annoyance that doesn’t stop me from enjoying my life.

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