So i spent a whole day in bed. Except getting out to eat and do other basic needs I’m laying, being numb and down. Perhaps I can’t move a lot because last night I took a number of benzos that could kill a horse but my already poisoned body can take it.
I’m just venting out. ( better now than before Christmas- I must think about that holiday tradition of ‘good feeling’, right?)
My friends, people from my past: they get married, they keep having babies, they improve their careers, they have hobbies, they are, basically, moving forward in whatever way. And I’m still here unless I go backwards, doing the same ■■■■ to shut down my mind and feelings that I’ve done before. Poor my child and everyone around me.
And sorry @Azley and @nomad for being unresponsive… I can’t do better at this time but I love you and care as ever.
We all know you’re trying your best. That matters. I think it’s a great idea to go a week with no Benzos. After that, see how you feel and if you’re ready, try going another week.
i’m sorry you are feeling numb. i was feeling that way a few days ago. its hard to feel anything sometimes. i think you are trying and that’s what counts. i don’t take my benzo as often as i’m prescribed to, i’m suppose to take it twice a day but i don’t i feel sometimes i don’t need it.
@Sarad. Sorry to hear you’re feeling so down. Do you think the holidays might be a contributing factor? It seems like the holidays can sometimes cause added stress and depression. I hope you feel better soon. Maybe go out with your son and do something fun with him. Take care.
There was a period of two or three years where I spent a lot of days in bed. It was total creature comfort and total psychological horror. I don’t want to sound like I am lecturing, but you could be headed towards something similar if your drug taking stays out of control. I’ve seen a lot of my friends get married and start families and become successful adults, but all that passed me by. Don’t ever think that things can’t get any worse because they always can. You could be headed towards worse times ahead. Try to find a way to spare yourself that kind of pain. Find things you like to do and enjoy doing them, besides taking drugs. Find things you like about life and accentuate those.
Sarad I have to agree with @crimby I think that abusing benzos could make things go in a negative direction for you. Also you were getting your degree right? That is something that is in the positive.
