Suffering today

Its taken me 3 days to go outside and put up just a few decorations but i did it. It took me 3 hours to go to store but i did it… i get home im so scared of being outside i have to mow grass but just cant do it im scared paranoid of what not sure. Just gonna stay inside like a hermit i guess i hate this condition why does it make me feel this way.ugh


At least you got some stuff done despite your fears. That means you’re brave.

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Yeah, at least you did something. Even doing just a couple of things is an accomplishment. Maybe you can slowly build up to doing more and more.

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Well under my bed nobody knows exist hiding…under bed sounds wierd but bf built it under mattress is a board put on lifts around bed is boards that look like frame it created a crawl space for me i have to be safe

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Is it agoraphobia?
Apologies if you’ve already spelled this out for us. Yeah you must’ve hit an anomaly when you first were looking for help today.

@Happy2Help earlier today it was but now paranoid think going into psychosis…never been alone when in psychosis so gonna stay in hiding spot so they cant find me

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@Denice are you on any medication?

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@everhopeful yes im on klonipin zyprexa depakote trazadone when i think about phsycosis i reach out for dr but he says once in psychosis i just have to go thru it.theres nothing he can do im having voices really bad they say there coming in they know i gotta be here bf out of town and my bestie just had a stroke so im alone ill beat it


Ok, is the Klonopin for emergencies? Maybe you could take it to calm yourself down?

I could take one more today but i refuse to come out of crawl space…im here for duration… ty

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Winston Churchill has a famous quote:

“So you have enemies? Good. That means you stood up for something once in your life.”

I did something dumb/misguided and worse is I got creative. It was at work during the Great Recession. We were all under a lot of stress and I was being managed out(yes they called it that out loud as they would do it (stick it) to you.

For a long time I thought there were some people who didn’t want me alive. I hit back a little too well you see.

But My father said “if they didn’t kill you while you were working there, they aren’t going to kill you.”

This is a stab in the dark…. But at least I know some of what you’re going through.

Have you forgiven your enemies?
I know it sounds preposterous but what if there was a way out like that…

For me I imagine people I didn’t like on a stage winning an award and being happy.

I think it’s Steve Covey in “the 7 habits of highly effective people” said it first.

Are you feeling any better this evening @Denice?

@shutterbug no under bed crawl space im bad and there coming in they have to break locks im alone they want truck , keys my dog and shoot me …they wont find me ill give txting …someone to let them know in case something happens

Nothing is gonna happen hon, I promise. I have had voices threaten me with death for three decades and I’m still here and kicking arse. You’ll be here thirty years from now too. The only power the voices have is what you give them, so don’t. Make a cup of tea, put your feet up, and tell those dirty MFers to bring their best game cuz they’ve got nothing on you.



I’ve been a hermit a long time and I lost my persona so it is hard to be in public. I have to go to the store and pharmacy. I enjoyed the park a few days ago but when I have to talk to people I hate myself later on.

I don’t think you lose your persona, but it may change or you may become fearful of displaying it.

@Denice I’m so sorry you are suffering. Did you take the extra klonopin to help? I still think you should contact your dr. He/she needs to know what is going on. That’s what they are there for (to help with the symptoms and the suffering).

How are things today @Denice?

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