Well I decided I would write one of my episodes that happened a couple years back,
I will try not to make it too long winded.
I am not entirely accurate cuz some of it was such a blur, and i cant exactly remember how many days or what days they were on so ill do my best to recall, my dad thought the episode was so rediculous that I should write a story book about it.
This episode I had seen a naturopath at this time because i was still getting crazy moodswings day to day. he had me go on this elimination diet that sent me into madness once again.
My parents went on vacation or something i cant remember,
I’m just sitting upstairs watching tv and I keep seeing the gas fireplace flickering on then off…
I hear a voice : "Its the gas line, Yeah its Jesus I’m back. You need to dig up the gas line outside its urgent"
I say "your god ? Are you sure? "
He replies yes its me , dont be afraid, you can do this"
So I refuse to dig it up at this point and I am panicking because I don’t want to do it,
God says : "ok go downstairs and check the phone book and I will tell you who to call"
its like 10pm at this point i think : "God says look at the side of the phonebook no one answered. So…
God Says “you need to get away from electronics they interfere with my frequency” (there was a guitar amp nearby)
I keep hearing weird zinging radio sounds coming from the amp so I pull the plug out or something i forget.
Then God tells me "Shut the gas line off"
So I shut it off and i feel calm and then from what I can remember I think he wanted me to go to my room and start writing “THE PLAN” in code and a not on how I am not schizophrenic and that God has called me to go forth with his new plans.
I was literally writing lines like this ___________ ---- I I I _______ ___ II yet I could see them as words and I could easily read what was written as God would always relay it back to me.
The plans involved the number 777 , I was to go to a certain casino (no idea which one yet) and play 1 slot machine of Gods choice that would amount to the winnings of 777 million dollars. all the signs had to do with the number 777 to prove it was God that orchestrated this.
Day 2
at this point I vaguely remember him telling me to go purchase various things to detox the toxins that are in my body. like salts and junk. and I would be told to leave generous tips for the cashiers. I remember very confused looks on the cashiers faces when I gave it to them.
I bought a pill crusher for the niacin i was taking and was told crushing it up was better (tasted horrible)
I also had to Change banks as it was the wrong bank for the millions of dollars that would soon be deposited in that I would give to the people that needed it.
So I made a withdrawal at my bank to 777 dollars. then I pulled the rest and closed my account.
Opened a new account at different bank and deposited 777 dollars into it.
I cant remember what else happened this day so ill move forward
Day 3
TRAINING BEGINS
Well God said he needed to get me in top physical shape so that I could out run anyone that was after me as there would be people out there trying to capture or kill me.
The goal: To full sprint 800 Meters.
He had me wake up at like 530 am to get to the running track.
I would literally try to full sprint 400meters and 200meters until i felt like I would puke.
God said : “When you run , I will increase my power within you so that you can run faster than you really are able.” and it literally felt like I was being forced to run way faster than normal.
This was to be done every morning from now on.
I also ran at another track a couple cities away: for some reason about 90% of the people at this track were mentally/physically handicapped.
God said: "These are the people you will heal. these are the people I care about just as I care for you"
I was quite surprised like wow “I am going to actually do this” I started to look at them in a new light. I just had nothing but love for them,
I was also wearing a white tracksuit when i would do my runs and i just felt like I was the light for them.
and again id be sprinting full speed the best i could for 400meters.
Day 4
I think this was the day where God wanted to show me all the churches I would be working with:
He would show me Chinese churches and im like "how on earth am I going to speak with them?!?!"
God said "I can have you speak in any language if I so will it"
I couldn’t believe this I was just in awe over the things I would be doing.
He showed me other various churches in a few different cities.
Day 5
I cant remember which day this was on it may have been earlier but :
God told me to : Make an entire loaf of sandwiches to give to a homeless person in my town, I put it out by the garbage cans the first time as he was not there,
the 2nd time I gave it to a homeless shelter,
I think this night was when God told me “I have something to show you” it was back at the running track , (there is a forest park at this track) and It was to be at night.
I was rather afraid to go into this forest park at night as it is not a great part of town but I just trusted.
God would have me wandering aimelessly through this forest saying "just keep walking I will show you what is needed"
Eventually I looked up at this old tree with no leaves. God Said "This is the tree of knowledge of good and evil"
I looked at another tree with beautiful green luscious leaves and God said "This is the tree of life"
Then I kept walking aimlessly until I ended up in a baseball dugout bench area.
God said “you see this? Your on my team” I just laughed and smiled.
(i cant imagine what people would think if they saw me out there doing this…)
Day 6
THE JOURNEY and MORE TRAINING
Today I was going to try an accupressure treatment that was several cities away i had bought off groupon. so that was tied into this journey. God said he would take me to it without using a map and that was part of the test of trust.
Eventually i was told that accupressure was evil and now it was time to go where God wants to go.
Well today was the day Where God needed me to drive places (i had no clue where i was going but I drove atleast 200+ kilometers to various cities)
More Churches to see, Run down neighbourhoods were now known as “the oppression” muslim temples were where the devil was working. (sorry to anyone who is muslim i mean no disrespect, it is just part of my psychosis episode)
I saw a huge old broken television that was dumped at a park. God said "put this in the back of your truck and we will now be on a driving test"
I was not to bump the tv in the box or I would fail. I had to go over speed bumps and then God said "I will be increasing your speed by controlling the gas pedal"
I would be zooming through neighbourhoods having no idea where I was going.
it was quite scary and dangerous I am so lucky I never hurt any innocent people or myself.
I also ended up at a train yard and I was told to walk through it and sneak past the fenced area to find someone I was to drop off more sandwiches or something. no one was there but I was instructed to leave it there i think.
I also ended up at a Vehicle Repo Lot to pick out my car of choice used for my work for Christ.
When I got to the lot God said: this is where you will choose your vehicles to fulfill your work in christ
So I chose a Toyota Range Rover. I never bought it but I was going to later…
I was also shown the airport I was to be using (it was called Millionaire Private Aviation)
The rest of my episode is fairly blurry and I cant remember which day I ended up on but here is kind of the final of this episode before I gained a bit of insight
Day 7
Tonight was the night I would go to the casino of choice to get the money from the slot machine,
At this point I had racked up lots of credit card debt buying various things for people.
(I bought a very elegant and respectable doll for a little 7 year old girl that my friend was living with (split family) I wanted her to grow up and be respectable.
I also bought a stuffed bear for the girl I was seeing and told her I was sorry and that I needed to respect her more as a person instead of using her for sex.
I bought an airplane kite for the young boy that my friend lived with as he was very depressed and only played video games.
needless to say they were all very enthralled I would do such a thing.
Now headed back to the evening.
before the evening began God would have me lie down on my bed and he said he would increase my power significantly so that I could handle what would be happening later.
God said : "Are you ready? Here it comes, feel it? im going to increase my power in you more and more"
It felt like bolts of lightening going through my body almost like seizuring from such an electric shock.
I was seeing odd purple colors and green and red and blue colors lines swirling around for the remainder of the evening. mostly purple.
When I got to the casino finally he guided me to some inconspicuous slot machine,
I put my 5 dollars in and NOTHING HAPPENED.
Terror starting building up in me as I start thinking what has happened?!
All of a sudden the voice in my head is laughing like crazy and saying:
"Don’t you get it you idiot, we are in your in your head were not God were not the Devil we are your BRAIN, we screwed you big time, now were just going to go insane in your head and we will never leave you"
I immediately drove home and took like 18 grams of niacin and within about 3 -4 days they left me. I dont know if it was because of this they left or if they just left anyway
Well that was battle 2 with psychosis. I was left traumatised, indebt and confused… hopefully the story wasnt too scary or triggering. made me feel a little anxious writing it but knowing I survived it makes me feel better.
it kinda feels like having your belief system shattered before your eyes then coming out of that black hole not know how this could even happen.
