You know any jokes?

Is start

All his life bill was a simple man, from the country with Little aspiration, his only wish was that he will win the lottery, so every Day whould say ‘god let me win’ years hâd passed and bill becomes Ill on a death bed, then he said
’ god im diyng this is my last wish, please i want to win’ then bill hears a voice from the above who sad:
’ for frick sake bill, Play!!!’

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Why did the Orange stop?

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stop it’'You face is hurting me.

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No no man, cause it ran out of juice.

Lol lame joke but I think it’s funny

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I was driving down one of the main roads where I live, when the car in front of me stopped suddenly. I wasn’t paying full attention and hit the brakes late and bumped into the back of it. We both pulled over to the side of the road. I got out of my car and the other guy got out of his. I was a bit surprised as he was a dwarf. Quite a small fellow.

He had a big frown on his face as he walked over to me, crossed his arms and said ‘I’m not happy!’. To which I replied, ‘Well which one are you then?’

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A man says this to a lady:
Baby I’ve changed. I have gotten fatter, I am less potent, I’ve got a big gut, and a receding hairline. You said you wanted me to change and I have.

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I just got this from the internet just now !

A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.

His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?

“Simple,” grins the millionaire, “I faked my age."

His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.

“Well”, he replied. “I said I was 87!”

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My psychiatrist and my therapist.

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A man goes in to see his psychiatrist.
He tells him, "Doc, ya gotta help me. Some days I wake up and I feel like a wig-wam and some days I wake-up and feel like a teepee."
His doctor answered, "It’s not a big problem, you’re just too tents.

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stolen from my kid’s favorite cartoon

What’s that on your shoulder?
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Your arm!

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A nun walks into a psychiatrists office and says, “Doctor you have to help me, I have a bad habit.”

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office. The doctor says, " I need a little background on your family to see how you guys relate".
The man says, “Well my mom is normal, my dad is fairly normal but my brother is deluded and thinks he’s a chicken”.
The doc says in surprise, “Wow, that’s highly unusual. Why didn’t you bring your brother here with you trying to get help so we can cure him”?
The man says, “Well yes I would do that but my family needs the eggs.”

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A prominent Doctor had it all…wealth, a nice house, a nice car. He ended up losing his status and license for SLEEPING WITH A PATIENT!!

It’s a shame someone so prominent in our community would give it all up just to have a one-night fling with a patient.
And he was such a good veterinarian, too!

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Why did the mushroom go to the party?

Because he was a fungi (fun guy)!

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read the comment to the left
Iolz <---------------- I said left comment silly this is the right side

now how many read the right side first :stuck_out_tongue:

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Yes, because houses dont jump at all…

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I bet there wasn’t much sleeping going on. Wink, wink, leer, leer.

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