Wow i am screwed

DX'd - Other
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the suicidal feeling is the worst because i know it will not get better, stuck with bed bugs which have me triggered 24/7 which is worst thing ever, brain damage from benzo withdrawal on top of already having experienced psychosis for years in advance so mentally and emotionally i am more ■■■■■■ than ever because now even reinstating the benzo doesnt make things better, my parents are even depressed now and i cant talk to them about anything because they got their own stuff to worry about. ive just spent the night sleeping in a room with an excessive amount of cimexa in an effort to kill the bugs using myself as bait but my chest and stomach hurts and airways dont feel too good from breathing it in the whole night.

at this point i dont care how much it hurts my family im done with life, ive been looking into final exit for a few days now, thing is i dont even feel too bad right now but i have my many reasons and even if no one understands only i know everything ive been through and what my future looks like knowing i cant handle stuff and am not capable of functioning so im done

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You need to speak to your medical team immediately. Tell them you have strong suicidal ideation.

There’s nothing wrong with going back on benzos. It sounds like they might help.

Stay with us dude.

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I’d call your pdoc or whoever handles your care. You’ve got to much on your plate right now and you need help

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Please hold on, these things are temporary. It will get better somehow. Call your team, please. I know it’s hard but you have to hold on. There’s always hope.

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Please hold on and say yes to life @cigarino. I know bedbugs are living hell, I just went through them with a friend. But, bedbugs DO go away eventually. You just have to give it some time. With effort and help from an exterminator, they go away. I promise you.

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If you are feeling suicidal, please tell someone — a friend or family member, a teacher, a doctor or therapist or call 911 (if you’re in the U.S.) or the Emergency Medical Services phone number in your country.

You can also call a suicide prevention hotline—these are available in the U.S. and in many other countries.

International suicide hotlines:

Suicide hotlines in the U.S.:

https://www.thetrevorproject.org

More resources:

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My grandma had bedbugs for a while but an exterminator got rid of them completely. J understand it must be triggering though. Hang in there, you got this!!

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ever since i first cold turkeyed off benzos now i feel suicidal even when i take them. idk whats wrong with me i feel like an idiot after i have these episodes its like going from depressed to overwhelmingly suicidal i have alot of stressors

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You sound like you’re in a serious situation, mentally speaking. Speak to your psychiatrist tomorrow if you can.

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i usually would but i dont really think they can do anything about this kind of thing other than just more meds

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Benzo withdrawl is the worst withdrawal of any drugs, even acute heroin withdrawal is more pleasant…you are NOT to quit benzo cold turkey. You will become suicidal. And then taking a benzo after quitting gives you even a tougher time. The benzos are messing with your head…taper off them. Read Dr. Jennifer Ashtons microdose reduction withdrawal schedule for benzos. I’m not a doctor, but have learned quite a bit after being prescribed benzos and refusing to take them after hearing the horror stories…

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Stay strong @cigarino.
Please get help.
If you need to, maybe you should go to the hospital until you feel better.

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You can win. If you are at your wit’s end, it’s the best place to grow from, don’t give up, use it as a point in your life where you changed and went the right direction. Get some counseling and help. You can do it.

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