I’ve been contemplating suicide for a very long time. I apologize if this upsets, or disturbs anyone. I’m just in a lot of pain. My brother is spending the night with me, so I’m safe tonight.
I’m just trying to think of what to do about my situation. I just don’t want to go to the damn hospital.
I’m sorry you’re feeling like this @Montezuma since you need meds to curb suicidal tendencies please get them from your psychiatrist. Stay safe with your brother
@Montezuma Try to do something new. Usually when you have suicidal thoughts you are depressed idk.
I’ve dealt with this, but they usually pass. If you’ve had them for more than a few hours you should probably talk to someone about it. I hope it goes away. I tried once, ten years ago (before I got schizophrenia), and came close to succeeding. That scared me so bad I’ve never tried again and don’t think I will. I was definitely trying to rapidly hit the undo button as soon as I realized what I’d done and am really glad I wasn’t successful.
Don’t risk an attempt, medicine change might be able to help. Also talking to people. I’m sure you’ll get through it. The number one piece of advice I could give is don’t be alone if you don’t have to, until you get through it.
That’s pretty solid advice, thank you.
I did confide in my brother about my feelings. It was very difficult to talk about, but it had to be done.
I cried for about 10 minutes straight.
Do not attempt suicide no matter what. You will regret it immediately. Imagine how awful it would be if you changed your mind afterwards, but the damage was done and there was no way the doctors could save you. It would be a sad, painful death for you and your family…
When do you next see your pdoc? Can you call them and see if they can get you an emergency appointment?
I see the pdoc in June. I can always do a walk in appointment. But I know they’ll want to hospitalize me.
Well, if you are truly certain that you will be safe, I guess it’s okay to ride it out, but if you have any small part of you that thinks you will go through with it, it would likely be best to see your pdoc asap and risk being hospitalized. It’s better to be in the hospital than be dead or, even worse, seriously injured to the point where you wish you were dead.
Sending my good vibes your way. I have no experience in coping with suicidal thoughts. Probably being admited into a hospital isn’t a bad idea.
Hey mate. Sorry you are feeling this way. It’s not normal to think like this and that is always the problem with us. If you need help to get through then do what you must do and that is seek help. I know your lonely but people do care about you and I for one think you need to take that help.
Hugs from far away!
Please see the pdoc, he can provide mood stabilizers that could make a world of difference.
Sometimes mood disorders are dietary though, since high protein diets have high amounts of amino acids that out-compete the tryptophan content, responsible for producing the feel-good serotonin neurotransmitter. Increasing complex carbs and lowering protein may help.
Monte, you’re such a wonderful person. I’m sorry this is happening to you.
Thank goodness you shared this with someone before taking action. I’d like to remind you as a friend that the hospital is there to help. There is no shame in seeking this help. We suffer from a debilitating disease of the brain. There are highs and lows. The lows can be horrible. Have you spoken to your brother about your suicidal thoughts? Be sure to do so if not. Know that there are people who care about you, myself included.
You are a good person Monte. Don’t give up the fight. If you ever need anyone to talk to PM me or come on here. I may not always be prompt in my response but I’ll do my best to reply. It sounds like you’ve been suffering from depression. Do not be afraid to seek help! Immediately if you feel very troubled.
Edit: Just reread the thread. Good thing you told your brother. Don’t be afraid to get professional help either!
Do you have a crisis stabilization unit?
@ladawn32977, I think we do. 
.
I just want to personally thank everyone who responded to my thread.
I’m feeling a little bit better today, still a little depressed, but I’ll be okay.
@Montezuma . If I were in your situation I’d get emergency medical help. Either call your psychiatrist or go to hospital. The suicidal ideation could even be caused by your meds.
There’s nothing wrong with being in hospital. I’ve been in hospital tons of times.
If you’re feeling ok today that’s good. But this sounds like an ongoing problem.
Get medical help. Stay alive.
If you are feeling suicidal, please tell someone — a friend or family member, a teacher, a doctor or therapist or call 911 (if you’re in the U.S.) or the Emergency Medical Services phone number in your country.
You can also call a suicide prevention hotline—these are available in the U.S. and in many other countries.
International suicide hotlines:
http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html
http://www.suicidestop.com/suicide_prevention_chat_online.html
Suicide hotlines in the U.S.:
Hey Monte,
Sorry you feeling that way man.
Get medical help mate.
ER, anything !!
You such a cool guy, you always have such nice things to say to everybody here !
Stay strong plz.
I go through that not wanting to go to hospital. Don’t hurt yourself. You are loved.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with these thoughts. You’re an incredibly supportive and hard-working person, and you can get through this. Please go to your doctor. Telling your brother was incredibly brave, and I’m glad you did it. But you also need to tell a medical professional. I know you’re afraid of the hospital, but they don’t send you unless they think you’re an immediate danger to yourself or others. And even if you do go for a bit, what are you afraid of? The hospital is a safe place to stay while your meds get adjusted. They’ll help you write a safety plan. Going to the hospital isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a sign that you’re responsible and proactive with your own health.