I mean if your pdoc has made a mistake or if you’ve faked it?
I know for me I’be had 8 years of this ■■■■ and seen 4 different pdocs but still feel I haven’t got anything wrong with me, I tell everybody I faked it for the benefits but yet my current pdoc things thats a self-preservation technique.
I think I am schizophrenic but one of my doctors do not. Just to be safe, I’d like to take meds my whole life. Meds are not my main enemy right now. It is my attitude.
Yeah, when I think realistically, I understand that I have issues / mental illness. But when I think emotionally, I argue to myself that I’m fine, that I don’t need medication, and that I probably faked everything for sympathy and validation of my behaviour.
i feel like ive totally faked it. i feel like i dont have a psychotic disorder and its just anxiety. part of me knows im sick and cant go off the meds but i get a strong feeling sometimes that im totally okay and it was all a ruse
I know I’m mentally ill but it’s always been a toss up between Schizoaffective and bipolar with psychotic features.
Both disorders seem to fit for me.
I never questioned if I was mentally ill, but I did question if I needed antipsychotic medication. Though there were a lot of things wrong with me, I had never hallucinated before they put me on a major tranquilizer. Now I am dependent on them though, and I do hallucinate when I try to come off them.
@crimby so sorry to hear that…I guess I’m lucky I never got stuck on that.
I don’t think they locked me up for 8 months for being normal and well adjusted.
I am glad you started this thread. I have felt this way about my sza diagnosis, and it is nice to know that I am not alone. Sometimes I feel like i would be fine if I was off of all these meds (meaning all of my many meds, not just meds for MI) and that maybe nothing is wrong. Maybe I am faking.
On the other hand, when I consider all of the things that I deal with, I see a pattern of issues. I remember cutting myself when I was 19 and ODing on pills. Depression and mood swings. Losing interest in everything and motivation going right out the window. Severe paranoia and fear that goes with it. Then, when I got older, hallucinations.
Logically, I know it adds up. Another part of me still questions it, though.
The moment I start thinking there’s nothing wrong is when I have lost insight.
Honestly, if I wanted benefits I would have faked back pain, not sza.
“Oh, my back! I want ibuprofen!”
Yep, I don’t want to be crazy.
This is the fundamental question. Personally I believe that it’s a process. I did experience and say some strange things but I take full responsibility for it. being labeled as schizophrenic is not some sort of truth. It has to be be questioned. We don’t know what it is. Sure I mean science can speculate but that’s not an answer. I think all that happened is that I went through some experiences and those experiences crushed me. But to answer your question. I question it every day ,questions will burn in me until the day I die. I don’t believe I’m broken or sick. I believe I’m healing more and more each day.
BTW, hey everyone I’m ablue
I question my diagnoses sometimes especially on days where I’m feeling good and/or am not really in touch with reality. But there’s always a wake up call or some cruel reminder that no I’m not ok. My psych is good at reminding me of stuff when I’m like that. And yeah I know now that I definitely need assistance.
No negative symptoms are too strong… have no social life.
I became symptomatic after I learned what SZ was and it doesnt feel like what I thought people dealing with SZ felt like. So I dunno. A misconception that my preSZ self had? Maybe I’m misdiagnosed because whatever I have hasn’t been recognized yet and SZ is just the closest thing to it? I’m not sure but I certainly question.
No. Psychosis kinda explained all that. It really did.
You don’t have a television talking to you. You don’t have that much paranoia if your healthy.
Most folks are pretty cool here. If you think you are doing well it’ll often bite you on the ass…but those meds help for sure!
Sometimes, mainly because in the past I faked being almost normal during my pdoc appointments.
I tend to question my sz when Im doing well and stable on my meds, then i start wondering if i need to take meds anymore. I get scared I’m faking it, but then i think of my husband and the hurt I will cause him if I go off my meds. Ive tried doing that many times and it more than often just caused me to relapse again and suffer.
I feel like I’m faking it and “everyone” actually has these symptoms and that it’s normal for everyone…
I’m just a guinea pig taking meds
I tryed not taking ap for 3 days. And it turned out my brain doesnt work without ap.
Whats wrong with me is how my brain works. No abstract thinking …kind of like an animal.