and you, what did you do to get better? you know, i emerge from such headaches, they were awful, i cant do anything when it hurts so bad… maybe its the years of inactivity… its unfair that some people take meds and they are relieved isn’t it? yeah, i am still jealous and everybody will attack me on this…
I keep trying.
151515
yeah, i became mean and evil… i work on it too. i think its a bit better here 
but its rough to rearrange my attitude after so many years of ■■■■ behind me. the pdoc of my father said that ive chosen the bad side, that i have a bad character… it was tough to hear it. i felt guilty years after it…yeah, i am dumb
Maybe you just need to find something that you like to do. Right now I am looking for jobs, doing math, and maybe playing a little bit of videogames. Plus you are not a loser you still have a life to do things with. Although it is hard to come up with stuff to do. I like to stay indoors most of the time. Also you do have a personality. Part of what I read is that you have a problem with depression. I think finding something to do is important. One thing that comes to mind is someone with depression used to cook fancy and difficult meals for themselves. Sounds weird but you never know what could help.
i am not sure if its depression. the docs saw immediately by one look that its not just a depression, they were sure about it. how can be a person in depression for 20 years??? maybe the negative symptoms are different from the depression. the lack of positive emotions is hard to deal with, maybe harder than depression isn’t it? plus that my brain is a mess, i think only stupidities to be honest
Well you seem to be able to write clearly at least. Maybe you aren’t as stupid as you think.
hi anna, i got better on meds, not completely cured but just no symptoms from sz and light side effects, i agree with sarad, keep trying, try and have something to look forward to, if you are negative all the time that can make you feel bad so idk, what i did was not conventional, i said to myself i will accept all the help i can get and i will try anything and everything to get better, both that and the new med made a huge difference.
Props guys for the responses…
Anna, we care. It can be frustrating, I agree.
Force yourself to take a walk in the morning every day, make a list of things you like about yourself, put on some make up, little things sometimes give us the little joys, and it’s the little moments that make us feel good about ourselves.
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Sorry Anna - do you like pets? could you get a small cat? I found that helped me.
Yes - a little here and little there can help a lot in the long run.