Why do I lie to self ? So, I would be understood as you understand!

There is a start to every trigger.

To find that spark I need to expose self, to the outside world more and more.

I feel something is really interlinked and the answer is my brain is inter linking them.

How to face reality? Or know what is real.

Is real the other word of truth. Then am I living a world of lie.

Then why do I lie to myself. Was it to just escape from the hardship. I found self in a cradle of excuses.

But I need a lullaby to sleep away my troubles. By which the voices triggers. The utility of my brain.

Making everything gold that I touch. Then people are behind my secrecy . How is it how much ever lie I feed myself. I don’t break.

Why do I lie to self ?

Was the foundation of the brain built and wired, by which when the mutation happens at maturity.

I was designed to build a mature mind to lie to self when a problem appears.

Like the saying goes one will either Fight, Freeze or Flee.

But I ended up choosing out of the box which was to Fail.

When I track down my character!

I see one sequence. If the sequence is broken I build a new character whole together. And forget the other.

By which I could say I don’t have a specific character.

Therefore I can’t understand none and vice-versa.

But people around me believe they have understood me when I don’t carry a character.

If and only if I standardized my thinking so people can comprehend my actions and the words to a sensible context.

I would be understood as you understand !

I don’t know to make it really short is it understanding or judgment. Can you tell the difference. You keep mentioning understanding. But what I understand about myself and understanding. Is there something called judgment that is making me confused. I’m trying to understand myself and others and how I am with the world. But I realize it’s judgment. I’m judging myself. And to just understand how to live my life personally for me without my personal judgment on myself. To be free from my own judgment of myself. When I understand I can do this. My question ceases and my life continues.

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