It’s hard to explain, but…
Does anyone ever have the feeling that maybe they don’t really have schizophrenia or anything else, maybe they’re a liar, maybe you don’t hallucinate, even though you do? LIke a paranoia of the self? Sometimes I get paranoid of myself like this. Call myself a liar. I think it may stem from a deep level of denial of my condition, but I’m not sure. It’s very hard to explain and I’m not good with words so I don’t even know if anyone will know what I mean.
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I have that too. Voices tell me “Liar! Liar!” Then they twist around and laugh at me and say I’m schizo.
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I haven’t had this problem… I know my head is cross wired. Sometimes when I’m doing well… it’s hard to accept that anything is wrong with me… It’s hard to accept sometimes that I still need meds… but I do.
I have heard of others who are going through what you are.
Hang in there… and kind to your self.
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I get this feeling all the time. I feel that I never even have SZA and that I’m lying or making up my illness. The only way I can snap out of this is reminding my self of my relapse of when I went off medicine. Other than that I constantly feel that I’m not sick.
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It’s hard to explain but you’ve put it close to the mark there
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Wow, even though it’s not good (having the feeling), it’s a relief to know that other people experience the same thing. I’m glad I was able to communicate this feeling and hope that others see this forum post and know they aren’t alone in it.
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I definitely have this feeling. In fact I considered I was just making it all up until I read similar experiences from posts on this forum 
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Nope, apparently it’s normal for a lot of us!
I am a liar.
I also believe I am not crazy. I think I just thought about stuff too much and convinced myself that I have these things going on.
I am fine, it’s all in my mindset.
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This is actually a very common delusion from what I’ve read online.
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That’s interesting because I think I read too much online and think that I believe what I read about SZA is happening to me because I experience what the article or post or whatever is describing because it sounds like myself, even though it’s just a small part of my life. I don’t know if I’m exaggerating my symptoms or if they are normal everyday trends people go through elsewhere.
There’s a difference between identifying with a few non-key symptoms and identifying with almost all of the key symptoms, maybe some or all non-key… I identify with almost every symptom I’ve seen online, especially the key ones. But I still have that self doubt, that self paranoia. I suggest you see a doctor. If you already have, and they’ve diagnosed you, then get a second diagnosis from a different doctor if you aren’t sure, if that would make you feel secure (this is just an idea). But if you have auditory and/or visual hallucinations, that’s a big indicator. Whatever makes you feel best, whatever you can do to make yourself more comfortable, to rid yourself of dissonance. While you already doubt the world; when you start to doubt yourself, your world can begin to crumble.
Yeah that totally makes sense. I have been diagnosed SZA by two separate doctors and am working on a third from a counselor. The counselor tells me that the DSM is a park for symptoms that may describe some but not all the things a person who has SZ and does not necessarily represent all the symptoms one has. So anyways, I have had these things like paranoia, visual and auditorial hallucinations, racing thoughts, etc. But right now I’m fine and I’m walking ng through a revolving door in my mind on what I am.
To paint a better picture, on these forums I identify with non key symptoms and in articles about symptoms I identify with key symptoms I have experienced or am afraid I might experience in the future.
@Apathy SZA is schizoaffective? And what is DSM? I’m glad you’re seeking security. And glad you’re doing well.
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Yes SZA is schizoaffective. And the DSM is a manual for diagnosing mental disorders used by doctors. The current issue is the DSM V I believe. Thank you for your support BTW, it’s always loved to be heard.
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Trust me, if you’ve been diagnosed, you’re not lying to yourself. And even if you weren’t, symptoms are symptoms.
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This is funny, I have just been thinking that today. But I know I am ill, it’s just others who don’t believe it.
I spoke to a relative today who said “keep on mooching a bit more” at the end of the conversation. I feel terrible, I have SZ and I can’t work. He made me feel guilty for being on disability.
@Pamito that’s horrible…unfortunately my dad could end up being the same way, at this rate, but I don’t know yet for sure. I’m still looking for work. No luck yet (it’s been a month so not too long). Maybe you could get a simple job that’s low stress where you don’t deal with people. That’s what I’m trying to do. Pay isn’t so great in those jobs…but it’s something. I couldn’t really hold my other job, but it was really high stress and required a lot of movement, so I was never very good at that, and they kept me up front dealing with the customers, and after a while of doing that, I began to deteriorate. The pay was crap but everyone there was really nice (family-owned place where everyone was close-knit, friends) I wasn’t fired, because for the duration there I was good at my job. I actually had to leave because I ran away from home. I probably would have been fired eventually because I was beginning to lose it with customers, which I think is even normal for non SZ(A) people. As for your relative, just ignore them. They don’t seem like a person who can be “shown the light”. Don’t associate with people like that if you don’t have to. If you do, try to explain to them what it’s like to have schizophrenia. If they don’t understand that it’s debilitating still, then just ignore them…if you depend on them, that’s a different story. If you are their dependent and they are abusing you via neglect of your condition, you should leave them.
George Washington regularly cheated on his taxes. You can’t trust what anyone says.