Schizophrenia.com

I hate being lied to

I feel like I am being lied to about things that matter very much to me.

I hate being lied to altogether but this is really bothering me.

judy

There is a whole, catastrophically large, structure of many lies directed at me, trying to get me to do something I absolutely do not want to do.

I know the feeling crimby. same here. judy

I was a liar for years.

When I grew up, I got the message that of myself I was not very interesting or worth listening to. Also, when adults asked me a question, it was very important that I give the right answer, which only had a coincidental relationship with the truth. Yes, I got the message as a child that no one much listened to me anyway; alternately, when I told the truth, I was often punished.

When I was a young adult, I lied out of habit. I lied when it would have been just as easy to tell the truth. The pain I suffered from my lying was the inability to communicate with people whom I loved and who loved me because they didn’t believe anything came out of my mouth in a straightforward manner.

I first became a truth teller in writing. I found I could write and tell the truth without getting punished.

Later, I learned to speak my truth. A first, I had to stop myself in conversations and inform my listeners that I had either exaggerated or understated what I just said. Eventually, it became common place and habitual for me to tell the truth.

Now, I have some long term friendships with folks who lie a lot. One of the pains I experience now from these liars is that, as in the case of one friend, although I have been clearly and consistently stating my truth for greater than twenty years, she is still trying to figure out what I am really saying. Which is to say, her life too has been terribly traumatized by the alcoholism of others, and she is used to living in situations where it was not safe to talk, trust, or feel. Consequently, although she loves me, she barely knows me because although I clearly state what I like and what I don’t like, what I do and where I go, she is still trying to watch and observe me an take her clues from means other than the words I say.

It is my observation that chronic liars do not understand simple truth statements. For example, when I say in totally sincerity, “Have a nice day,” some folks look at me crossly and suspiciously ask, “What do you mean by that?”

Change of subject: I have been off my spiritual center lately because I just ended 50 years of daily smoking. Just the other day, I invited a workman into my kitchen because he banged on my door to tell me to close my windows on the south side of the house as he was going to power wash that outside wall…

I found myself a little frightened by this guy and ended up exaggerating what I do for work and what I do for fun and so on. Sorry, I’m still a work in progress.

Jayster

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jayster!! i am so happy for you that you quit smoking. wonderful news. keep up the good work!!!

just fantabulous. congrats.

as far as exaggerating etc., who doesn’t?

judy

i also hate lies…
i never lie about anything…this gets me in trouble…!?!
my motto should be " if you don’t like the truth don’t ask me ".
take care

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sometimes, telling the truth will get you in trouble , then I was wondering what is better between telling a lie and shutting up. I was scorned for not being able to tell a white lie.

I try to stick to the truth the most I can. Lying never helps a situation. I often figured if you tell one lie you have to tell another to support it, then tell another to support that lie and so on and so forth. It’s a lot less work to just tell the truth.

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