I have had weird urges lately to run away from home and live on street and cut all my hair off and stop all my meds and start totally afresh again.
It’s like I want to erase everything and start again. Run away…wish I could sometimes… Why do I feel like this?
Like I want to go onto beach with scissors and cut all my hair off and cut myself too maybe, and rebel as hard as I can against my usual life… Do I like destroying myself? Am I sick? Am I an attention seeker? Why am I so funny in the head?
Sigh…
Is it normal to have these urges or is it the sza? Should I be worried?
I tried to run away. Like I said to myself that I’ll be gone now and don’t return. I couldn’t cope on the street. It was loud, everywhere were cars and people. I still sometimes get this delusion. I don’t act uppon it anymore. The longest time I could go outside was five hours. I walked too much. 'cause I layed in bed for years and just stood up for smoking and needs. In the end I was irritated and drained. I thought that I was undersugering because I’m a diabetic. Hadn’t eaten or drank something in five hours and walked from my village to parts of the town. The way, everytime I tried to get away, led me always back home.
It is just an urge to escape yourself, however wherever you go you take yourself with you! There is no escape but the acceptance of who you are. Once you do that you can make steps towards improving your life.
I did “run away” while I was in psychosis. I went through 4 states on foot(with the occasional ride) before being picked up by police and placed in a hospital.
Yeah, people along the way were really nice to me. Some people gave me money along the way to get food. Some people gave me rides(including police). One lady bought me a new blanket, etc.
Impossible. If you ever ran away to the streets, a lot of your problems are going to follow you. Your mental illness wouldn’t magically disappear. You’ll still have the same personality, the same traits. If you went to the streets for a new start the only difference is you would be cold, hungry, dirty, poor and in danger.
It’s common to want to run from our problems but as adults we have to face the reality of the situation. Your problems are going to follow you wherever you go. You’re right about one thing though, if you went to the streets your life would be destroyed.
I don’t know, I never had an urge like that since I developed mental illness. When I was agoraphobic my urge was to stay home and never go out for anything (work, school, partying, etc…)