Schizophrenia.com

I'm having the urge to run away

I just wanna withdraw all my cash and buy a ticket to a random location.
Pack my bags in the middle of the night and dissappear into the shadows.

How long until someone noticed I was gone? How long until someone cared?
Would anyone look for me? How long until they gave up?
Would I ever be found? Would anyone even want to find me?

I don’t know where I should go to be the least burdensome on those around me.

All I know is I’m tired of feeling like everyone would be better off without me and my shite.

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@Miika i feel like you do.

Edit. But I hope you don’t do it.

Please don’t do that- your family and I will be very worried about you if you did!!

Are you ok? I’m worried about you.

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Hmm don’t run away, hang in there Miika. Hold on tight. Things maybe tough, right now, but it will be better.

You’ve said earlier that you began a new job, and I’m rooting for you! But it’s always hard in the beginning. Especially living at a new location. Your doing a great job!

I ran away once, I abandoned my apartment and drove across my country… I was in midst of psychosis, but I really wished I didn’t do that.

Any ways at the end, I was in jail using alias name… but my family some how found me. I was sooo surprised when they’ve sent me a letter to my cell. I was determined missing person and everybody thought I was dead.
I don’t want you to be like that

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I’ve been feeling a similar urge to move to a new location - to get a change of scenery. But in AA they talk about the “geographical cure” that alcoholics often take, thinking their life will suddenly be all better if they just move to a new place. It rarely is better, because they are taking their alcoholic addiction with them.

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Btw it took them 2 years to find me

Actually it would be better if I was presumed dead quickly, so my family could move on with their lives.
They’ll be better off in the long run without me.

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You may have the urge but don’t do it, don’t run away.
Is there someone you can talk to? @Miika

Like a therapist or crisis line?

It’s just not worth the pain you will cause if you decide to run away.

Remember, your problems will follow you wherever you go.

It will solve nothing.

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Are you close to your family? It must be really hard to acknowledge how your family feels about you when your living far away…

I would think that if you go missing or died, they might blame themselves and carry your pain, rather then just carrying on with their life.

I don’t think I’m actually going to do it, the urge is just strong.

I don’t have anyone to talk to, no

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I cause more pain with my presence. They’ll get over me and feel better in the long run

You sound down or depressed.
Do you have a psychiatrist or doctor you can talk with?

You should have a strong support system set up at your new home.

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I really don’t have anyone irl to confide in.
But yes I’m depressed

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Do you have at least a psychiatrist there?
Which country are you living at now?

If you don’t have a doctor maybe you should be searching for a doctor and therapist to talk with.

You need to have a solid support system in place.

I had this too three times. Once I was close to getting into a train and to drive to another city. I already had the ticket in my hands. But as the train come I something hold me back.

And on the other time I was going outside with the intention to not come back and live on the streets, somehow the way lead me back into my village.

It’s hard to cope with sometimes.

I can’t afford it

I’ve had similar thoughts this whole night. I mean I seriously planned it out.

Hope neither of us does something too impulsive.

I actually did run away.

It was hard on me and my family. It isn’t a solution. I now regret that decision. It’s been 22 years, but the after effects still haunt me.

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I ran away for a few days as a teen. Shut off my phone and didn’t come home.
My dad had confronted me about some things I wasn’t ready to deal with, and for once my ‘fight or flight’ chose flight instead of the usual option, freeze

I ran away for good.