Why did I ever self-publish a story about my mental illness?

The review that I purchased came in and it is awful. (Not to mention it comes up in a Google search of my name.)

Editorial Reviews

2019-06-05
In this debut psychological thriller, a California woman hears voices that relentlessly torment her.

Chiara Marino has a happy childhood growing up in a Roman Catholic home. But she rebels in her teens and experiments with drugs, from high school into college. She becomes infatuated with fellow college student Trey Sanders, a drummer in a local band. Though the two never interact, Chiara misses him post-graduation and becomes despondent, certain she’s lost her “soul mate.” She later begins hearing Trey’s voice, leading to a psychologist’s diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder. Antipsychotic meds help, and in 2004, 20-something Chiara marries Stephen, and the couple have three children. But after nearly a decade, she stops taking her meds to lose “pregnancy weight,” and her obsession with Trey as well as his voice returns. Chiara finds Trey online and peruses his Facebook page along with the profiles of his wife, Hayley, and her two friends Matteo and Valentina. Then Trey’s comforting presence leaves only to be replaced by Hayley’s and her friends’ voices. The three persistently rebuke Chiara as a homewrecker despite her superficial contact with Trey. Even with Chiara back on her meds, the voices won’t leave her alone, straining both her well-being and her family life. She effectively reveals the mindset of a schizoaffective. The voices’ incessantness, for example, is apparent via repetition, particularly their oft-uttered, vague threat, “Be forewarned.” As the entire story is from Chiara’s perspective, there’s little indication as to how her condition affects Stephen and their kids. Still, her agony is undeniable, as she periodically ends up in mental hospitals. Meanwhile, the voices assert they’re “hexing” Chiara, who blames Santeria or voodoo for her predicament. Though the white protagonist addresses the perceived racism, it’s unconvincing and contradictory. She claims a “religious psychosis” is at fault but later questions why Santeria and voodoo are protected by law. At the same time, the atypical but captivating narrator is unreliable, with her birthdate changing and new voices appearing without preamble or explanation.

A sometimes-erratic but consistently absorbing novella about a serious mental illness.

Kirkus Reviews

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I think it’s more like a summary than a review but I’d read it as it’s in my interests. I’m not sure of the general populace but I’m sure it would attract people to read it.

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That’s very positive.

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It takes a lot of work to write professionally. F.Scott Fitzgerald got 128 rejection slips before he was finally published, and yet he wrote The Great Gatsby and several other highly respected novels.

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It seems like a very good review for a first novel. They called it captivating and absorbing.

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Thanks guys! I guess I just don’t like being viewed as a racist or religiously prejudiced at a time like this especially. I felt like the reviewer didn’t cut me any slack for being mentally ill. I have to be prepared to be put on the hot seat and listen to the critical voices of any negative reviews. (If anyone actually reads my book that is) lol

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Something similar happens to me. If I look for my real name on Google, then appear some things I writed about me and my schizophrenia when I was unstable.

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It looks like a good read

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@Loke thank you! :blush:

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