Hello friends,
I am new here, so I don’t really know how this works. But here’s my situation:
I’m a senior in college (20 y/o), and was just recently diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder by one psychiatrist. I got a second opinion and he said I might have borderline personality disorder. I cannot tell whether my “voices” are truly voices, or if they are intrusive thoughts, or perhaps in the middle. My experience is that they are by nature like a thought, but the thought sounds like 3 different people to me apart from my own inner thought voice. I also “hear” background noises, screaming, and hearing the voice/thoughts fight. I talk with them as well. They tell me that the world is not real, and tell me what to do, and I need to kill myself in order to get to the real world where they are from. They said they were sent to me by God so I must obey them. A lot of the time, I do.
I’m skeptical that I have schizoaffective disorder because I am high functioning (although I am on medication now and before I was low functioning), and I also now am sometimes aware of when I am thinking about my delusions. Do I just have good insight and they caught it early, or do you think I am just very dissociated that’s part of borderline personality? Am I truly having hallucinations or just intrusive thoughts maybe associated with OCD?? What’s your experience with voices and delusions? I am on Vraylar and it doesn’t seem to help the voices, which causes me to question whether or not I even have voices inside my head. Then the voices tell me it’s because they ARE real and I don’t have a disease because God picked me to have these voices so I can go to the real world. Help!
I don’t do voices. But my main thought process basically comments on what I do. That can be handy sometimes but it’s not necessarily normal. You look at the diagnostic criteria and that is pretty much a red flag. I do hallucinate but often music.
Saying that. Take the medications. Early intervention with anti psychotics leads to better outcomes. Psychosis isn’t pleasant. That is true madness and your best to avoid that.
Periods of psychosis and depression are most likely causing brain damage. IT’s common to lose around 5 IQ points and that is reported in the literature. Best avoid that.
Thoughts. Voices. They are often one or the same. Although we are always different we often have similar outcomes.
I don’t know much about borderline personality disorder so cannot comment about that.
Regardless if you’re actually hallucinating voices or just misinterpreting your internal dialog for voices, you’re definitely experiencing delusions. You need to discuss these more with your psychiatrist until you find the right medication that prevents the delusions and hallucinations.
Hi! Welcome to the coolest forums ever! I am also high functioning. My doctors said it was very rare and unusual, but there are a lot of us on the forums. Don’t worry about getting caught up in diagnoses. Just focus on treating the symptoms. How long have you been on Vrylar? Most meds take eight weeks to fully take effect. If it’s been that long and they’re still not helping, talk to your doctor about raising your dose or trying a different med.
I always viewed a pdoc’s dx as just a place to begin therapy. It’s important to get it right, but it’s not the final word on your condition. Keep taking your medication. It’s helping a lot.
What you describe sounds like voices to me. You have voices that tell you what to do, those are command hallucinations. You also talk with your voices, that pretty much tells me they are all auditory hallucinations. You would not talk with an intrusive thought.
I think high functioning schizophrenics are more common than we think. A lot of the really high functioning ones with excellent jobs simply hide their names because of the stigma. I am going to college full time and working part time and I am getting straight A. My classmates who are normies are getting like C+ and B.
Regardless of your diagnosis, borderline personality disorder can still be very destructive. It is likely your second psychiatrist diagnosed you with borderline personality disorder with psychosis.
My illness presented itself very similarly to yours. What helped me was intensive DBT therapy which helped me cope with the intrusive/command thoughts, self harm, and dissociation. Also key was finding the right regime of meds, once I found the right AP the voices went away and I am almost always present.
Mental illness is a spectrum. I’ve been diagnosed with major depression with psychotic features, possibly schizoaffective, and I am very high functioning. I also have some degree of insight. From what you describe it definitely sounds like you have a psychotic disorder Also not everyone hears auditory voices outside of themselves, some people get telepathic voices like what I think you’re describing, that are more like thoughts that aren’t yours. I get primarily telepathic voices and very rarely ever get auditory hallucinations.
Yes about the high functioning people with psychotic disorders hiding it. Furthermore since people who are higher functioning with psychotic disorders typically have some insight that their beliefs are strange they may never bring them up, this never receiving a diagnosis at all. I went undiagnosed for many years because I thought if I told anyone my beliefs or what I experienced I’d be locked up. Thus you hardly ever hear about high functioning psychotic disorder individuals
I have schizoaffective disorder, and I am high functioning. It definitely sounds like you have a psychotic disorder of some sort. I wouldn’t call what you described auditory hallucinations, but it definitely seems you are having delusions and intrusive thoughts. The fact that you have so much insight is a very positive thing, bodes well for your future, as long as you stick with treatment. Whether you have schizoaffective disorder rather than a mood disorder accompanied by psychosis depends on if you can have these psychotic symptoms regardless of whether or not you are experiencing prominent mood symptoms.
My therapist also says I shouldn’t worry too much about the diagnoses…sometimes it can be frustrating though since I just want to know what’s wrong with me so that my treatment team can better help me out.
I’ve only been on Vraylar for 2 weeks. I switched from zyprexa, latuda, then risperdal. I’m talking with my pdoc and we raised the dose to 3mg.
“I think high functioning schizophrenics are more common than we think. A lot of the really high functioning ones with excellent jobs simply hide their names because of the stigma. I am going to college full time and working part time and I am getting straight A. My classmates who are normies are getting like C+ and B.”
This is really helpful. I’m also a straight A student, and work so much harder than my classmates because of my struggle. I have been feeling “not sick enough” to get help because I’m still functioning. I finally was hospitalized a month ago and got meds and therapy. I think because of the stigma, I’ve been denying what I have as a reality for me.
I was initially diagnosed with psychotic depression, but I’ve had one of the voices (that didn’t bother me too much) since I was a kid, and am still dealing with delusional thinking and voices even though I’m not going through a depressive episode right now. I’m not sure if I qualify for schizoaffective because my “voices” might not count as auditory hallucinations.
Schizoaffective disorder does not always include voices or other hallucinations. Delusional thinking itself qualifies as psychosis, and if you are having that problem despite no depression (or mania) I would say that the doctor who diagnosed you schizoaffective may be right.
the voices sound like command hallucinations. dont listen to any of it whether it seems good or bad. it only leads to bad. just ignore it and let it go.
well, if its schizophrenia… everything about to become based on you… Best advice I can give based on my own experience as Shia LaBeouf; just keep quiet, don’t engage it or focus on it no matter how irritating… and u might just stand a chance’’ Also most important, don’t talk to it or to yourself.
Also, waste of time thinking its from people… so don’t drain yourself thinking your talking to peoples mind. Also, acknowledge your the victim in the situation, so keep your head, don’t think your in other heads…
It usually starts basic but then it develops leaving most people too fearful to even take a walk in their neighbourhoods… so no matter what, understand its you who the victim, don’t fall into thinking ur part of a telepathic system tht talks to peoples minds
I don’t have voices and I don’t have delusions. I have crippling depression, OCD and Anxiety with cognitive symptoms. If I don’t take meds I eventually have psychotic breaks that include voices and delusions that are so strong I have no choice but to be hospitalized. I still have not figured out if Im schizoaffective or Bipolar and I am basically a complete recluse. Very low functioning
Also, do yourself a favor and talk to a priest about it… most people here have been in schizo state for 10/40 years. Won’t hurt to have a bit of faith.
One more thing, if your normal… u’d have to consider this magical to believe its not true. You’ll see people talking to you, even your closest friend or family members… instincts push u to believe its some occult thing, but reality is… you beat up 1 guy becoz of it… you’ll have about 5 billion more people to beat up, including the guys in the TV. Freakish stuff… freakish stuff PS, if you do decide to beat them up, send me your number, got a couple of guys over here that I need beat up.
Also not everyone hears auditory voices outside of themselves, some people get telepathic voices like what I think you’re describing, that are more like thoughts that aren’t yours. I get primarily telepathic voices and very rarely ever get auditory hallucinations.