Yeah, I know… I understand this, even the normies worry about the future…
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Indeed…wish you the best Anna1 x
So you weren’t too hopeless to ask me for help, just too hopeless to accept it? That doesn’t make any sense, Anna. You wouldn’t even be doing most of the work.
Why did you switch pdocs then?
I know you suffer. I wish I could snap my fingers and take it all away from you, but I can’t, so I’ve been trying to help you another way, and you don’t seem to be interested. And of course you’re not a bad person, but that doesn’t change the fact that you don’t seem to be looking for help.
Anna. I do support you. I always answer you unless I’m too tired to think, or if I happen to miss a thread of yours. That said, I refuse to make you sicker. I’m not going to tell you that you don’t need meds because I’m not qualified to make such a statement. No amount of research will make it a good idea for me to be your doctor. And yes, you can overcome your fears with hard work, but if you truly have sz, then hard work isn’t going to do jack if you’re not on the right meds.
Mainly cause I didn’t believe her, that she ve done all the best, but I believe it know. I tried all the possible aps here and I don’t believe in aps anymore. Pls, don’t get piss off of me. I think I wont try any other meds anymore. My pdoc said to pay efforts and remain on Zyprexa. I believe her now. But I also think some people will be always ill, I see them in the hospitals. I am not interested in trying new meds, no. I need this forum here, but not for more meds I guess…
I just sometimes need a talk mostly here. I guess this is the only truth.
My pdoc said, that I need to pay efforts too, not only meds. So I believed her. She also said once, that i’ll always suffer with this illness, but idk how to take this… But she knew me better than the forumers here… She saw that meds don’t help me much, we’ve tried all them… And we concluded that its important to stop switching and that I can get better eventually within years…
Alone…safe and alone. That’s my mantra. Trying to convince myself it’s best…I miss believing in happiness. This site is good I understand and feel some interest in the topics cause they don’t occur to most people. Intrest and feelings are a commodity to us.
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I think maybe you need to find ways to cope with social interaction as a phobia. It seems like maybe your paranoia is factoring in, but the way people work through phobias I believe is through limited exposure and then gradually acclimatizing to more of the stimulus that they fear.
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Why don’t you believe hard work can’t you pull out of sz? John Nash did it with efforts too and he was sz. When meds don’t help enough, maybe I should count a bit on myself too, no? It’s healthy to believe in ourself a bit, no? Why my pdoc was talking about the efforts then, I don’t understand?..
I had about 6-9 months of severe fear when my illness first started in 1981. I was on Stelazine 10 mg. No one ever figured out why I had the fear. I tell myself it was due to a part of the brain, namely the Amygdala. But no one knows how to treat that.
But do you believe its the time to pay efforts, here4you? Do you agree that in some cases, meds don’t help all the symptoms? Why do my docs talk about efforts if I won’t do it with those efforts? I continue my meds though, but they are not a big help… Did your trt helped your social fears back then?
I have a lot of fears… I think it’s quite common with SZ. I have a lot of fear around different religious beliefs/ experiences that I’ve had.
I don’t know whether efforts will solve the problem but I think you should try. I never told my doctor this, but I think my greatest fear was that I would commit suicide. That was just my theory. However, I had primal fear and I honestly do not think there was any specific cause. I understand what you say about none of the medications helping. If you are going to try efforts, do you have someone who can help? You may need some sort of support.
Thanks for the answer, dear here4you. Yeap, my meds have their limits and I think I am right to not want to try more… Most of them made me crazier, I don’t exaggerate… Some people with sz should really try smth different apart the meds, isn’t it?.. And yeap, I have some friends here and my mom is very understanding too. I hope I am right to think now, that the meds won’t pull me out. I still take them though…
If that’s your opinion, fine, but please be careful about expressing that sentiment. Some people on here are one stressor away from a psychotic break.
That said, we take meds because they keep us from being psychotic. My mom told me that, without meds, I’m completely out of it; hallucinating, deluded, barely able to talk, hiding in closets, crying all the time, etc. How is a person meant to engage in therapy without having a firm grasp on reality? Why would anyone be willing to address their psychosis if they don’t think they’re psychotic?
If you’re not currently psychotic, then don’t bother changing anything. I was under the impression that you were having some pretty bad, but not fully episodic, psychotic symptoms. Antipsychotics aren’t really meant to help with fears unless said fears are the direct result of psychosis. (I’m not saying that they can’t, I’m just saying that easing non psychotic fears isn’t exactly their strong suit) For instance, I no longer fear “the lady in the green hat” because the only reason I feared her was that my voices told me that she was supposed to kill me and that I was supposed to let her.
I know you have a lot of fears, but are the ones based in psychosis any better? If so, then the Zyprexa is probably working just fine.
I am sorry I sounded against meds. I am not against them, cause I take them. Maybe I am not sz, that’s all. But I know people who are not sz and they are helped by aps too. Its just not my case. I never lost touch with reality in fact. I never had voices. I have other bad stuff… My state is not by episodes, it’s chronical… But I am very unhappy since kid. I also even had problems talking and walking… My mom says sometimes I could be autistic… I have problems thinking. I think, but I have the impression of being dumb… It feels like I lack oxygen in my brain if I can say it so… I feel my brain in my head, which is impossible, but I focus on my brain yeap… Whatever. I am a bit different here I know… Oh yes, its hard also to never have positive emotions as I do… So that’s why I was thinking that I need smth else besides the meds. I know, my sz friends are relatively fine if they take their meds. But not me. I am here cause I found friends here and my isolation is heavy…i am quite lonely in irl… I hope I’ll continue having friends here 
. I feel like I want to cry now… It’s something to be a no lifer since 25 years 
…
Hugs))))))) 1554
Oh, hugs wave … But I am afraid lately I am less and less appreciated here… Am I wrong? Idk why I continue living… I just make suffer my family and piss of my friends… Always being in this shitty flat since 15 years…
Well, I got terribly depressed now… No one loves me… Except my mother who suffers to see me like this…
I got some nice anger within the years of loneliness, which is of why my depression I guess… But then, I fear to be judged as a monster… Just a vicious circle… Idk why I have all this… I cry…
You are very much appreciated here @Anna1.
We love you.
Please don’t give up hope.
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But I turned into a zombie wave… My best friend is sz and she always gets better in one month of meds… She had tones of guys… While me, if I lose my mother, I won’t have anybody to talk to… I’ll forget how to talk I am afraid… Are there people outside who lived between 4 walls for 15 years?