Schizophrenia.com

Who else here is very bad still, but still fighting?

OK, I see more the people who are already better, but who else is bad still here? Since a time also? :smirk:
I had a very bad paranoid moment this evening again, maybe I was even catatonic also for few hours…
The rest of the day is also a struggle still, not so much better… and this, since years for me… :sweat:
But who else is chronical too? Who else was not OK almost chronically? Do we have chances? Maybe the meds will work slowly for us, it’s one of my hopes… step by step, right?..
Who else was sick or is sick all day long? OK, sometimes the pain is less, but am still ill the whole time…
Somebody like me?
Tbh, I thought today how my mother keeps repeating since my diagnosis, that I’ll be forever ill… she shouldn’t have done this, no… it’s like giving up on me, it’s like hating my illness and this doesn’t help… it’s like she can’t believe, that I can have a good life even with the illness… I listened to her before yeah…
None of my ill friends irl didn’t hear something like that from their parents. And guess what, they have a life… anyway, I shouldn’t be angry to my mother, it’s me who suffers with this anger, but sheesh, she is hard…
So pls, share… who is quite bad here? Did you stop searching for more meds and now you just try to change with efforts as me? The efforts should pay no?
My pdoc said to stop switching aps, that I respond the best to zyprexa and she said, it’s now up to my efforts…

Yeah, it’s a double suck with the disease and the meds. Meds cure something, but they also make us ill in other ways. No person in their right mind would take these pills unless it was a lesser evil to get rid of a bigger evil.

I too am struggling. I’m on zyprexa. I had a anger episode a few weeks ago. I think it had something to do with me not being able to explain to people what it is to have this disease. People who struggle with physical conditions you can relate to…but this mental stuff…it’s hard…and it’s often individual. It’s like being trapped in a private world that people without mental illness can’t relate to. And it’s hard to carry something for a real long time, and there’s not really anybody to speak with.

But it’s good to have this forum to talk about stuff.

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Thanks for the answer… idk why the others don’t answer… I am in pain very often still… maybe the others want to forget, I understand that…
Yeah, one doc told me, that I took way too many aps, now I realize, that I became very dull and numb… you can’t be happy while dull I find…
That’s why I don’t try more aps, now I give break of my brain and see if he’ll awaken…
But I suffer a lot still. Because of the isolation too…
I hope I’ll find still strength to fight though.
I wish you less pain too mrhope :slightly_smiling_face:

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Yeah I’m still dealing with constant paranoia pretty much with my so-called delusions. It sucks not feeling safe and thinking you’re going to go to hell. And that your family are clones. But I’m getting over that part.

it is okay.
You made a mistake but that is the past you can still get better and learn from it, don’t over do the antipsychotic switching unless really necessary etc. or overdo the medication doses.

just my opinion, ofcourse your doctor knows best. so always discuss things with your doctor and always ask him questions when you don’t understand :wink:

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I see… me too I have paranoia. It turned chronical for years in fact… You are decided to keep fighting, without looking for more meds against the paranoia? You count on the time too and your efforts maybe?
All the best though :blush:

I might switch meds. I’ve been on a lot of different meds but none of them are really working. Coffee helps me.

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OK, but you still count fighting, isn’t it?
I am emotionally affected too, I had almost only negative emotions for long… my meds are not good for this… I should fight alone on that and sometimes it gets tiring…

Hey, to quote Aerosmith: “I’m sick as a dog.” I’m just lucky I can do stuff in spite of it. Because I have the serious illness but I also have some positive attributes. My morning sucked, it seems like my neighbor was sitting above me in his kitchen playing on one particular weakness I was having. For like three hours straight. How’s that for delusional paranoid?

But now I’m sitting in my car listening to Apple Music in my car with my free Girl Scout cookies preparing to go for a walk. It’s kind of hot but there’s a slight breeze. IDK. That’s kind of how my life goes. My friend always used to tell me he was a “sick puppy”. Now 25 years later I know what he meant. I’ve got serious, serious problems but my problems don’t hurt anyone but myself. So if I sit in my car thinking schizophrenic thoughts and I’m not hurting anyone so I figure I have a right to be here. I guess the theme is dogs today. “Just a walk in the park” Have a nice day.

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Do you ever worry that you’ll be forced by your presence to kill people/hurt people? That’s what I’m worried about, and that’s what makes me wonder whether I’m worthy to be here. Everyone says it’s a delusion though.

But who else is not helped much by the meds and should fight his illness with efforts too now?
Don’t you get tired?
I am alone here with my “efforts” or what? :thinking:
I wonder when I’ll get tired…

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Yeah the meds don’t help me either really. I’m just not having the visions that I had but I still got them on meds.

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I had some bad thoughts yeah… even this night about my mom… but I won’t act, I sweared it long ago…
I often feel as a bad person though, cause I was almost as an animal for decades and I was cold to my friends and family…
We should pardon those things to us , yeah, they are delusions… and we were in a big suffering…
But yeah, you are not alone… I had very bad thoughts, but I knew I won’t act. I know the anger too and a very strong irritability in socializing, this was my issue for years…
But I was a good person too so yeah…
The real bad people don’t question themselves I guess.
Hug to you flowers :slightly_smiling_face:
Are you strongly decided to fight with efforts as me or you are ill since not too long and you count mostly on the meds? :thinking:
My life situation is very bad in fact too since decades, which doesn’t help now…

If the meds don’t help, do you manage to believe still in your efforts?
I just feel alone to count on such thing in sz, but I know some people did it well even without much meds tbh… I take my zyprexa though… I just don’t know if I should continue my efforts, I get tired to fight lately tbh…

You should definitely keep taking your meds so that you don’t get a psychotic episode where you can hurt yourself or others.

OK, I take my meds, but my illness is not by episodes, dear… it’s chronical… chronical pain since long… chronical loss of mind and loss of emotions etc…
My meds have their limits now. I won’t stop them, but should I continue fighting the pain? I was never symptom free on any med… should I continue paying efforts? Will the efforts pay it sooner or later?

Yes you should continue paying efforts.

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Continue fighting despite the pain? Tbh, I just try to ignore it now, but it’s hell still per moments…
But I am done with seeking more meds, we’ve tried that for ten years, they didn’t move me far…
OK, I sound tough now, the most of the people would tell me to take more meds if I am in pain still, but I’ve tried many meds and they didn’t change me much…
I know that the pain is a part of the life too, but not when it’s too much and only that lol…

Anyway, thanks for answering… maybe I am more tired by this shitti struggle in the evenings… after my days, where I try and try :sweat:

60 and still fighting. With a little weight and fatigue on me.