I just wonder this now. I am tired of meds. I take the treatment of my main pdoc, but shes an ex pdoc. Ive spent ten years just switching meds and one pdoc told me that I probably took too many meds so I had the opposite effect(he thought of the numbness etc)… I was never relieved really by any med. I mean emotionally. I take my meds just to be on my feet, on that they help yes. But all the rest is still here. anger, envy,paranoia, anxiety, avolition, emotional pain. But I prefer to fight this alone now. I hope I am not very wrong on this…
My mom wonders if I take too high dose of Zyprexa now (10mgs). But I don’t think so. I raised my Zyprexa 5 months ago. Maybe I should wait now.
Hugs
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Maybe ask your doc for a therapist, maybe someone could help you find the tools to fight it!
I think you will have more chances of success if you don’t fight it alone.
Sometimes I have similar issues but I think my years in therapy help a lot on vanishing those emotions quickly (with meds obviously).
Good luck with it anyway 
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In fact I am scared that even a therapist will judge badly my character, which turned bad. I have so much anger in me sometimes, its scary… Its something which tortures me, cause I know I shouldn’t be like this. Idk, I prefer to fight alone now. No psychological help… I also tried in the past the day centers for ill people, but in my country they suck all… I can go quite naïve sometimes, so i can go in dangerous relationships too… Currently i feel so numb, that its painful. I wish i was more active too, but maybe this will come too.
just keep working with your pdoc on your meds…you will find the right meds some day…please don’t give up on your meds !!
@jukebox, tbh I find that I am better now cause not switching meds anymore or try some new ones… One pdoc also told me that probably they gave me too many meds… I have multiple very painful sensations in my head and my body because of the schizophrenia, but I cant take meds for all of them. I cant even describe them. I just know that they are abnormal. Maybe its a delicate thing to find the balance of the peace of mind(no paranoia) and some normal, good thinking no? My current doc thinks that I am probably paranoid sz with positive symptoms. Not with negatives like thought it my ex pdoc. That’s why I am inactive or even catatonic in the evening. The paranoia can make us passive too… But I have anxiety too. Lots of fears. I am impatient to get better too, but to a sick point. My thoughts rush in my head often, which drives me mad. And the result is that I cant think properly… Did you struggle too to find a saner thinking? I guess this is the tough part, no?
But maybe theres really some truth that I should remain on my current treatment, cause I took too many aps in the past, and now just wait… My brain is one desperate mess sometimes still, yeap… And I don’t find that taking more meds will help me 
… I am on Zyprexa and Depakote already.
The only thing that it sux still is when its painful psychosomatically here… I get desperate then, yeap. I wonder why I somatize sooo much…
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